. . . no I don’t but yesterday was a long one. 7am to 11pm. OY!
Another long day today but not like yesterday.
Btw, if you’ve been following The Aids Ride this year, you can hop over to Jack Hampster and see is photo montage. If you stop by, leave some kind words of encouragement too!
Happy weekend for those of you who work some sort of normal schedule. (who me bitter? naaaaaah)
Totally tasteless and crass post ahead. – You’ve been warned!
*
I think I saw dunner today. And he totally snubbed me too! *sniffle* I broke down in tears. Oh the horror of it all.
Ok, I’m not even sure it was him. But if it was him, he was looking like hotness in his corporate duds. I was checking him out and thinking “this guy looks vaguely familiar“. Then as he passed me in the window of the Cove, I thought “wait! was that dunner?” Damn! Lost another one to Geico.
Dunner, if you’re out there, was that you?
Apparently, I’m always pissing people off.
I’m either pissing the straights off because I’m not acting gay enough. Or, I’m pissing the gays off because I’m not acting straight enough.
What up w/that? (Someone call Oprah, we’ll have a special!)
*donning my best gay voice* Oooooh sister gurl be done let her have it! lol
This really did make my day.
All I can say is “Amen Sista!” Looks like Fox finally grew a pair. I’m all for letting wacko’s like this speak out. They drive more people into my corner than I ever could.
I was jumping around and stumbled over Joe-my-god’s post about pride. He makes a great point and a powerful reminder. I’ve already shared my thoughts on Pride celebrations but I felt the need to weigh in again. If you aren’t part of “the scene” or “into the gays” but still identify as gay, that’s ok. Just don’t bash the rest of us. I usually try to avoid using such terms as they are completely subjective. Often times referring to a very limited portion of gay culture in general.
The mostly white bread, self-haters over at the LCR would have us believe drag queens, leather daddies, circuit boys, punk queers, etc are the doom to our culture and rights. You have it backwards boys. If anyone is holding us back, it’s you and your conformist attitudes. You make the same mistake our straight counterparts make. I shouldn’t have to conform to your views just to have equal rights. I was born a human being. That gives me the same rights of any other human. Who I sleep with and how often isn’t part of the equation. I don’t need to ‘play nice’ to gain equal treatment.
I’ve always been an oddity unto myself. I’ve never really felt like I fit in w/any “scene”. I sort of lurk on the fridges of all of’em. I go to clubs/parties. I go to drag shows. I go to leather bars. I workout often. I’ve even been seen in a few goth clubs. I also go to sex clubs bathouses, etc. None of which defines me, I just happen to like aspects of each. Some might say, I’m the ‘typical fag’. Does that somehow preclude me from being able to share my life w/another man? Leave my wordly possession to who I choose? Or prevent me from being able to celebrate the hard-earned freedoms gained in the last 20 years? In a word, NO.
Our narrow-minded brethern have mistakingly assumed that by “fitting in” we can advance our cause. How’s that going boys? From out here, I’m not seeing it. Maybe you should spend less time worrying about us ‘freaks’, and more time trying to accept that not everyone wants to be a corporate logo queen.
As pride week approaches and parades all over the world march the cause, take a moment to look back on your life. The pain, the sorrow, the disappointment is not unique to one. Many of us have “been there, done that”. Rejoyce in your freedoms and in each other. I know I sure as hell plan to.
I booked a flight home to see my youngest brother. My older brother is around but doesn’t have much to do w/me. Mostly his issues, such is life I guess. My oldest brother is off in Alabama working a new job. True to form, he has stopped responding to the rest of us. It will just be me and the little ‘bro’. Well, that and his kids. My afore mentioned nephew and niece whom I adore. Little Ricky just makes my heart melt every time I see him. But I digress. I helped raise my little brother. We’ve always been the closest. We email/text each other a lot and it’s nice to keep up w/him. For a long time I kept my family at a distance. With the passing of my father, we’ve sorta reconnected again. Some of us anyway. It’s nice getting to know my brother as a man vs the boy I remember.
The land that I used to refer to as “my parent’s place” is ‘our place’ now. I keep forgetting and referring to it in the former. It’s odd. I still don’t really see it as mine. I still think of it as my dad’s. I guess that’s normal, I dunno. I’m supposed to help rebuild a fence when I get back but I don’t think my brother wants to. hehehe. We’ll probably end up just hanging out, going hunting, fishing or stuff like that.
People who know me now don’t often see my country side. Other than my twang and slang that is. Most of my friends think I’m just headed to another city. My parent’s place Our place is out in the boonies of East TX. Even though, it’s not so boonies anymore as the place is growing like crazy. But for now, it’s still pretty hick’ified. My closest neighbor is half a mile away and our place sits between a natural gas pipeline and a 400 mile slew (open wooded space). Sounds exciting huh? lol
I am grateful that I grew up in the country. I think it has added to my perspective on life over the years and helped to keep me grounded. There is something to be said for growing up close the Earth and raising food/livestock for yourself. I didn’t understand it as a kid but as a man, I see it all too clearly. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think I’ll ever go back to live there however, I’ve learned to value my roots. (pun intended)
I guess my point in all these jabber is this. I used to dread going home. It was sort of like my once a year punishment. Now I look forward to it. The demons of my past are slowly falling away and in their place new memories are growing. The need to “get away” has left me. Ain’t life funny that way?
I worked from 8am till 11pm today. To say I’m tired is putting it mildy. Oy! Teaching a class then a full day of work. I’m tuckered out.
I have a date for Monday though. Details later.
I survived 6 + 6+ (0)6 day. Thank you to everyone for the kind words. I’m upset but I sorta saw it coming so not the end of the world. I am little bitter but I have a right to be. And no, I don’t regret it. I learned a few things about myself in the process so in the end it wasn’t a total waste. Here’s a twist. I ran into someone yesterday that I’d sorta put on the back burner. (I’m never been able to date more the one guy at a time.) I wiped the egg off my face and explained why I’d been so distant. He was still very interested and very happy to see me. Irony or fate? You be the judge.
In other not so dramatic news, I went to Ikea yesterday. Can I just say how much I love Ikea. I could redecorate my apartment several times over for under 10 grand. I wanted to buy everything but bought nothing instead. I’m trying to put together a new scheme in my head for the living room now that the roomie has moved in. He found a chair we both like that he likes and I can live with. The roomie tends to like very contemporary stuff while I like the more hardwood rugged look. I think we can do a merger of both w/some thought beforehand. The chair he picked, while not my first choice, is the right color scheme so it will fit in nicely.
This is sort of a new experience for me as I rarely decorate. I could take you shopping and dress you to the nines w/o much effort. However, I’ve never felt the need to invest time/effort into decorating a place that isn’t my own. Well, I’m tired of living in white cardboard surroundings. I plan to be in SF for at least 2 more years so I might as well make my new pad comfy. Nothing grand or flawless, just some new paint and a couple of well thought out pieces of furniture.
I’m off to instruct class.
Someone tried to let me down easy today. It failed. Miserably, I might add.
So, I’m left to move on w/my life. For the 2nd time in just 2 short years, my heart is broken.
When will I ever fucking learn?
