Category: society

Pride II

I was jumping around and stumbled over Joe-my-god’s post about pride. He makes a great point and a powerful reminder. I’ve already shared my thoughts on Pride celebrations but I felt the need to weigh in again. If you aren’t part of “the scene” or “into the gays” but still identify as gay, that’s ok. Just don’t bash the rest of us. I usually try to avoid using such terms as they are completely subjective. Often times referring to a very limited portion of gay culture in general.

The mostly white bread, self-haters over at the LCR would have us believe drag queens, leather daddies, circuit boys, punk queers, etc are the doom to our culture and rights. You have it backwards boys. If anyone is holding us back, it’s you and your conformist attitudes. You make the same mistake our straight counterparts make. I shouldn’t have to conform to your views just to have equal rights. I was born a human being. That gives me the same rights of any other human. Who I sleep with and how often isn’t part of the equation. I don’t need to ‘play nice’ to gain equal treatment.

I’ve always been an oddity unto myself. I’ve never really felt like I fit in w/any “scene”. I sort of lurk on the fridges of all of’em. I go to clubs/parties. I go to drag shows. I go to leather bars. I workout often. I’ve even been seen in a few goth clubs. I also go to sex clubs bathouses, etc. None of which defines me, I just happen to like aspects of each. Some might say, I’m the ‘typical fag’. Does that somehow preclude me from being able to share my life w/another man? Leave my wordly possession to who I choose? Or prevent me from being able to celebrate the hard-earned freedoms gained in the last 20 years? In a word, NO.

Our narrow-minded brethern have mistakingly assumed that by “fitting in” we can advance our cause. How’s that going boys? From out here, I’m not seeing it. Maybe you should spend less time worrying about us ‘freaks’, and more time trying to accept that not everyone wants to be a corporate logo queen.

As pride week approaches and parades all over the world march the cause, take a moment to look back on your life. The pain, the sorrow, the disappointment is not unique to one. Many of us have “been there, done that”. Rejoyce in your freedoms and in each other. I know I sure as hell plan to.

Nonsense

I had another ride along today. It went well. Not very busy but something is better than nothing. I always find my ride alongs a lesson in humility. I usually end up dealing w/the down-trodden and cast aways of society. Whether by fault or fate, life dealt these folks a shitty hand. Some make the best of it, others wallow in their misery. Either way, I’m reminded of how lucky I am and how far we need to go as a society before we can even begin to throw around terms like “civilized”. It is unthinkable that we allow folks to sink to such lows.

While responding to a victim of an assualt, we happen to see a man walking the streets sort of erratically. The most striking trait is the odd color of his hands. By odd, they were completely purple. Not a good sign regardless of the reason. It becomes apparent said person isn’t dealing w/a full deck as we watch him perform a sort of hopscotch of hopping back and forth across the street. PD was onscene and mentioned he’d been 5150’d (psych eval’d) previously on several occasions. Uh, yeah! Here we have a man that w/medication and just a modicum of daily intervention could lead a normal even productive life. Thanks to a variety of issues, including our shitty no-good piece-of-shit president’s policy of robbing this country of any social programs, this poor soul is left homeless and forgotten. He wanders the streets on a daily basis in a cloud of chemical dysfuntion. And true to description, after dealing w/our current patient, we can’t find him. Lost once again in the daily shuffle of life. He is but one of many such people in this city. And not just SF, you could pick any large city in the US and encounter a similar problem.

Oh, and our assault victim? A victim true enough. But, as soon as PD left, he hopped out of the ambulance and was on his way. He was what we call a “repeat offender”. Someone who works the ins and outs of the system just so he can get a ‘free ride’. But how free is it when your life is at the whim of social services, housed in squalor, and totally dependent on the kindness of others?

At day’s end I find my faith in my current career choice renewed. I may not be able to save them all but I know I can make a difference. Even if that “difference” is a compassionate face in the chain of faces one must endure when faced w/a life on the streets.

What Color Is My Skin?

I have so much to write about I’m busting at the seams. I know I’m bound to forget some of it. Oh well, such is life I guess.

I was a good boy and went to the gym today. Nice back/bicep workout. There is a new guy working out the Gold’s on Brannan. Obviously straight but a total hottie. I drop an egg every time I see him basically. Today he said hi to me and I almost yelped. I’m not so silly as to read anything into it. He often sees me and was just being friendly. Moving on…

I was reading brett cajun today and was dismayed by his article on the problems facing New Orleans in the aftermath of Katrina. I say dismayed as exactly what I thought would happen did. Or is happening. (I’m not sure of the grammar here but you get the point.)

We think we are so civilized as a society and yet we aren’t even close. You only need to look at a disaster like Katrina to realize that. We quickly revert back to “fend for ourselves” mentality and screw everyone else. Even worse, the government that we elect to protect and serve, failed it’s citizens in the most fundamental way. The ball was dropped at the local level which created a cascading failure all the way to the top. A failure compounded by our lack of support in the aftermath. I think I’ve beat that point to death so I’ll get back on focus.

Half of my family is from Cajunville so I am no stranger to New Orleans or it’s class issues. New Orleans has always had issues w/racism and poverty. A tiny percentage of the city lives in wealth and prosperity. A tiny percentage of “white folks” mind you. There is a decent size “middle-class community but it is completely overshadowed by the large percentage of people living at or below poverty level. Most of which are black. After Katrina, the government tried a ‘quick fix’ to the problem by throwing money at it and hoping “they’ll take what they can get” and go somewhere else. Well friends, that is not the answer as is becoming obviously clear. The crime rate in New Orleans has sky-rocketed. As often happens, people overlook the subtleties for the more obvious differences. By this I mean race. Considering over half of the population is black and most of those live in the afore mentioned poor conditions, it isn’t a big leap in logic to figure you will have a higher percentage of blacks committing crimes.

When every crime against you is perpetrated by someone who is black, it becomes easy to make assumptions about race. I’m fortunate enough to be far enough removed now to see the issue more clearly. If I still lived in New Orleans, I might think the same thing. But, if we are to truly become civilized then we must move beyond ‘easy answers’ and work on the bigger problems. Hoping “they” will go away hasn’t worked before and won’t work now.

Sadly, I don’t think that will happen in New Orleans but one can still hope right? (And some might think this a pot-shot at Brett. It isn’t. He took some heat for his post and kudos to him for foregoing politeness for honesty. I adore Brett. I just felt the need to sound off my own opinion w/o monopolizing his blog.)

Oh, and one more thing… Saying you “are not a racist” only makes you look like an ass. Everyone is a racist to one degree or another. It is how you act on it that defines you.

Ignunce II

I mentioned I recently joined my space. Well, so far not bad. However, as is prone to happen, ignunce rears it’s ugly head. I got this lovely email from a rather unattractive out-of-shape female today. In her defense, her intelligence is matched only by her beauty…

I am sorry that you are gay. You are good looking and woman would probably be all over you!!!I dont understand it my self cause I LOVE MEN. What a waste!!!!

My first response was to slice her to bits but what would that solve? Anyone stupid enough to send such a comment isn’t firing all 4 cylinders anyway. Instead, I politely advised her not to start conversations w/total strangers w/insults. I doubt she understood what I meant though.

Fiddlin’ Again

I’ve moved some things around on the blog for aesthetics. How’d I do?

*

I was also particularly struck by a recent post by Aaron over at meanwhile on “corporate gays” today. Apparently, he hit a sore spot w/quite a few of his readers. Aaron is a new read for me but so far I’m really enjoying reading some of his insights. Check’em out.

Stick & Stones Will . . .

I thought I’d talk about something other than myself today. Yeah, I know, there’s a first.

I do keep up my blogroll even though I get behind at times. Some more than others but I usually make it to all about once a week. Lately though, I’ve been reading Steve from Bent Collective a lot. If you aren’t a heavy reader of Bent, you should be. Here you have a man in the prime of his life giving of himself to help others. He traveled half way around the world to the bodunk country of Uzbekistan, easily a third world country, to setup a clinic and care for the ravaged HIV population there. Uzbekistan is only 2 small countries away from Afghanistan. They don’t particularly like us. Of course, being so far away does present some technological issues. Enter his friend Al who often keeps us apprised of Steve’s lastest efforts via the blog.
Continue reading Stick & Stones Will . . .

Profile

Thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes. The birthday went off pretty well. I got to see some friends in town from back home, which was very nice. (Now, if they’d only leave, I’m worn out.) I also got to be naughty. So all and all, it was good.

So today’s rant involves online profiles. It’s amazing what you can interpret about a person not from what they say but how they say it. Having been online for years and years, I’ve gleaned some knowledge that might be helpful. Look at it as a way to invite less drama into your life.

Here goes. . . my top 10 do’s and don’ts of having a succesful profile. (Whether it be for sex or just dating) Take it as you will . . .

1) Handle rejection. First off and most important, if you can’t handle rejection you probably shouldn’t be online. Unless you are desperate for just anyone, it is unrealistic to expect every person will be your match or that you are match for everyone. Attraction has to be a two way street for it to work.

2) Be specific. If you are looking for something, say as much. If you have a characteristic or fetish you’re into then make sure it’s included. Don’t use subjective terms. I often see terms like “looking for real men”. That could mean anything to any number of men. Duh! Also skip terms like “vgl or “hot”. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. While you may consider yourself “vgl”, others may not. Let your pictures speak for your looks.

Continue reading Profile

No, Not Me! He Did It!

So following on the trail of Dunner and Steve, I thought I’d weigh in on recent news of HIV men arrested and even being sent to prison for not revealing their status to sex partners. One case, a women was arrested, sent to jail, and put on probation even though none of her sex partners sero-converted. Another case, a man faces 15 years in prison just for spitting on an officer. Spitting which has been repeatedly proven not to be a form of virus transmission. As if that wasn’t scary enough, another man was arrested and is being tried on higher charges for simply soliciting sex for money. He didn’t even HAVE sex. Yet, he is facing serious jail time, if not prison, out of fear, hate, and misinformation in a back-asswards state.

For the record, I do not condone deceit in any form. If you are poz, you have an obligation to let your partners know your status. You also shouldn’t assume because he isn’t putting a condom on, “he must be neg” or because “he didn’t ask me to put a condom on, he must be poz”. I’m not referring to anyone who would intentionally infect others. That’s a whole nother ball of wax.

Sending HIV-positive men/women to prison for poor judgement is not the answer. And it sets a dangerous precedent for everyone. Not to mention, creating laws liked this will only encourage more people not to get tested. Now how is that in any way productive? It isn’t.

And we know the straight white men in charge always do the right thing, right? Of course, if that were true, we wouldn’t be having this argument. We also would never have robbed the Indians of the their land, enslaved a whole race of human beings, objectified women for half a century, or abandoned a whole section of society simply because of their same-sex attractions.

What it boils down to is simple. Whether you are positive or negative, you are the only person responsible for your health as well as the decisions you make. If you want to stay negative, then you should make sure you have safe sex and/or have the balls to ask your sexual partners their status beforehand. Saying “well, he should have told me” and pointing blame is a cop out.

I’ll Have A Venti Bomb Latte

Holy Cow! I’ve heard of grumbling about Starbucks but this is ri-god-damn-diculous!

SAN FRANCISCO (AP) (full story) – Police defused an explosive device found in the bathroom of a Starbucks on Monday. No one was injured.

Authorities were called around 1:15 p.m., after an employee reported finding something suspicious in the store’s bathroom. About 100 people were evacuated from the store and apartments above it, and the street was closed to traffic, said Sgt. Neville Gittens.

“This was a good device. If it had exploded, it would have caused injuries or damage,” said Gittens, who would not describe its size.

Once the device was disabled at about 2:10 p.m., police allowed people back into the apartment building and reopened the street. The store, located at a busy city intersection, remained closed Monday evening while authorities investigated.

That’s just ignunt. Don’t they know for everyone you close, 6 more pop up!

To Link or Not To Link

I’m on a roll today I guess. After getting a snotty email on why I never linked to someone, I thought I’d post this page as an educational announcement.

I’m not going to list the blogger or the email as that wouldn’t really serve a purpose. However, I no longer try to reason why such things happen as I can only control myself. If you read my blog w/any regularity you know I’m usually pretty blunt. Today is no exception.

There seems to be a lot of confusion on what is considered good blog etiquette. To take the confusion out of it. I’ve taken some time to jot down a few things I think might help.

  • 1. First and always, I blog for me. I also link for me. I link for a variety of reasons known only to myself. When I do link to someone, I do not expect a link in return. However, I am always flattered when I discover blogs linking to me. Anyone is welcome to link to me if they so wish. You do not need my permission.

  • 2. If you link to someone expecting to get a link back, you are probably in for some disappointments. Not everyone blogs for the same reason. Expecting someone to magically know you want a link back is unrealistic. If you take the time to comment (more than once) on someone’s blog, sometimes that is enough. Sometimes it isn’t.

  • 3. If someone not linking back to you is really that upsetting, you should probably turn off the computer and seek therapy. I’m not being derogatory, just honest. Worrying about things you can’t control only serves to make you miserable.

  • 4. Commenting on my blog is encouraged and welcomed. Whether you agree or disagree is not important. My only ground rule is that even if you disagree, be respectful about it. You can vehemently disagree w/someone w/o being ugly, mean-spirited, or flat out hateful. I rarely delete comments as I like to get perspective on my madness. The internet is a powerful medium for communication. However, direct attacts or anything that falls into the above mentioned no-no’s gets deleted w/o a second thought. After all, it is my blog.

  • 5. Very few people speak perfect English. Correcting someone’s grammatical mistakes via a post is usually offensive, IMHO. I often write in improper Enlgish on purpose. Being from the South, I also use a lot of colloquialism. I try to include this in my writing as it gives inflection that you would normally get from my voice. By doing so, you get a much clearer picture of who I am.

That’s pretty much it folks. I might not be the “norm” when it comes to bloggers but I try to fall back on two axioms that seem to serve me best.

1. Treat others the way you would like to be treated. Hence when you are ugly, I’m ugly right back usually.
2. Don’t make assumptions. Ask, if you have a question or unsure of what to do.

I also created this post as a page link in my “Useful Bits” section here as a helpful guide for any future readers/bloggers who stumble over me.