Update IV

Been a bit distracted lately so no posts. I’m back.

The past weekend w/TFA was nice. No natural disasters this time so we got to spend some quality time bonding and getting to know each other more. We skipped all the touristy stuff. We got to the beach one day, movies the next but mostly we spent quality time at home relaxing and enjoying the down time. I made the mistake of telling him the one ticklish spot on my body. He spent the whole weekend tickling me every chance he got. [1]My voice tends to go up several octaves when I’m being tickled.

In work related news, I got notice today that I am being sued by a previous trainee. [2]She is suing quite a few people in the dept as well. I am not in the least bit worried. The dept. bent over backwards to not only accommodate her but also gave her an incredibly lengthy extension beyond what anyone else has ever received. I am dismayed she simply refuses to accept the simple truth the job function was beyond her abilities.

The xbox is finally back! They sent me a new one as promised. So far, it is working like a dream. I haven’t had much time to play but I did get a couple hours in yesterday playing Bioshock. Excellent game. Given a choice, I have to say the xbox still beats the PS3. Sorry Sony, you dropped the ball.

References

References
↑1 My voice tends to go up several octaves when I’m being tickled.
↑2 She is suing quite a few people in the dept as well.

Ouch Goes the Tongue

I can always tell when I’m on the verge of getting sick as my emotions go all bouncy bouncy. I’ve been feeling a little down the last few days. I’ve cut back on my gym time and been getting my ass to bed early. It has helped. Last night I took an Ambien and slept very soundly. This morning I still was feeling a little tired and someone said something to me and it just hit me the wrong way. I almost burst into tears. Twenty minutes later I was completely over it and not at all upset. [1]I think I’m PMS’ing. For guys it stands for Pansy Man Syndrome.

After a bigger than usual breakfast and then sushi with the roomie, I was feeling a lot better. The nagging itch in my throat is gone so hopefully I’m on the mend. I sure as hell hope so as I’m flying out to San Diego in a couple days to see TFA.

I did get a little good news today. My new replacement Xbox is arriving on Monday. It was actually due to arrive today but the stupid UPS guy didn’t show up so had to reschedule. Considering I’ll be out of town, the additional delay won’t kill me. I can’t wait to get back into playing Bioshock. I finished Ratched & Clank on the PS3 for the 2nd time so it couldn’t have come at a better time. *g*

Not much else to ramble about. My brain is feeling very empty at the moment.

**Update** Looks like he might be coming up to SF instead. The flights are all full from his trip back abroad and he would have trouble getting to SD before I did. I don’t really care. Here, there it’s all good as long I get to see him.

References

References
↑1 I think I’m PMS’ing. For guys it stands for Pansy Man Syndrome.

Vroom!

I went for a 100 mile ride today. The weather was so beautiful I just couldn’t stop. I normally drive over to Stinson Beach which is only about 20 miles North of the city. Today, I was leapfrogging w/two other riders I happened upon along the way and kept right on going. Next thing I know we’ve already passed the 50 mile marker. One guy was being a show off and ended up speeding off after discovering the other guy and myself wasn’t on his level. The other guy slowed next to me and I could see the smirk on his face. He and I stayed together for about 40 more miles before pulling over for a break. He was a young fucker but damn if he wasn’t hot. We ended up stopping at Bodega Bay.
View Larger Map We grabbed a snack and hung out talking about our bikes for awhile. He had a 500 as well so we were evenly matched for a ride. At one point, he asked if my girlfriend liked the fact I ride. I said, "well the boyfriend doesn’t much care for motorcycles". He didn’t even blink and said, "damn why is it all the good riders I meet are gay guys?" I guess my jaw must have dropped because he laughed. Turns out the last 3 guys he met on the same strip were all gay. Who knew?

Moby in gear
Moby Gear

I took my camera but like a dumbass I left the storage card in the laptop AT HOME. I wanted to get a couple pics of the hottie. Didn’t happen sadly. However, since someone decided I had too many self pics on the blog, I thought I’d show a couple more of me. These were taken at home after I got back. I think I look worn out (cause that is how I feel).

Gear 2.0
Moby Gear

Anyway, Grant (his name) wanted to keep going but I knew I was at my limit and it was getting dark. He was all bummed out when I declined to go with him on up the coast. I was tempted let me tell ya! Well, until he said he wanted me to meet his girlfriend. "Oh my, look at the time, gotta go!" We did exchange numbers. He lives in Sausalito just over the bridge. It would be nice to have another riding buddy. He says he goes on Sundays often which works w/my schedule.

Overall, it was an awesome ride. Hwy 1 is nothing but curves the whole way which makes for some fun. I’m glad I came back when I did because it got dark and chilly toward the end and I only had my mesh jacket on.

So what did you do today?

Tinker4

Well, I was tinkering w/the blog comments but I immediately didn’t like the way the plugin worked so I axed it. Same reason I won’t switch to haloscan, it takes my comments outside my own server and I’m left relying on the speed of another’s network.

Speaking of, for the life of me I can’t get my comments to open in a pop-up window instead of reloading a page. I’ve inserted the appropriate tag where it says I should and still no luck. Any of you PHP’ers out there w/insight, drop me a note.

Random Gripes

I’m in good spirits today but feeling the need to vent a little about random annoyances. Take it w/a grain of salt.

Gripe #1: If I have to create a profile w/a social service just to leave a comment on your public blog, don’t expect a comment. Sorry, I’m just lazy that way.

Gripe #2: If you send me a message from a blank profile, don’t expect a response. I don’t particularly enjoy speaking to emptiness.

Gripe #3: If at some point, I have sucked your cock, the least you can do is say hi when I run into you public.

Gripe #4: If you disregard Gripe #3, expect me to go out of my way to say hi to you.

Gripe #5: When someone politely declines to hook up with you, don’t ask why.

Gripe #6: Bathing, more than a fad.

Gripe #7: If the automated system verifies all my info in advance, don’t make me verify it again.

And what’s your gripe de jour?

Up or Down

tfamoby2.jpg

Vacation last week was very uneventful after TFA left. Well, that isn’t exactly true. We had a little drama but it was mostly self-induced. I learned something about myself though. For all my growing these past 4 years, I still have a ways to go.

The night before he left, TFA walled himself off from me. I could literally see the barriers come crashing down. He withdrew from me for a few days afterwards and it drove me nuts. The why doesn’t really matter as we’ve already worked thru it. It was only indirectly related to me. After talking about it later, I think we’ve crossed the last hurdle between us. The reason I bring it up is because what happened afterwards. After he left, I felt miserable. I started thinking some pretty negative thoughts and acting on my old fears. One of the biggest fears I struggle with is “am I enough?“. I know where it comes from so no need to beat that horse again. However, it is a fear that has plagued me my whole adult life. Sometimes to the point of crippling my ability to move beyond it. Surprised?

So I found myself thinking familiar thoughts. What did I do? Did I say or do something out of line? Was I overly attentive? Was I attentive enough? Did he change his mind about how he felt about me? Was he disappointed? Did I not measure up? Basically, I was beating myself up wondering what I had done wrong. For two days I put myself thru this. Being off work only made it worse as I had nothing to distract me. [1]Well, there was the new Ratchet & Clank game. However, the morning of day three I snapped out of it. Reason and sanity prevailed.

I remembered I am a good man. I have my faults, sure enough. However, I have worked very hard to be a good man and to have the qualities in myself I desire in another. I have a lot to offer someone. And, my ability to love is boundless. If he can’t see or accept it, for whatever reason, then that isn’t my issue at all. So I gave up on my little pity party and felt better. No matter what happened, I was confident in myself again. The irony was he called me right after and told me what was going on. Turns out, it had nothing to do with me at all. [2]Ok, that isn’t true either. His developing feelings for me were involved but not the heart of the problem.

When I was younger, the pity party would have continued. I would not have snapped out of it. This incident has shown me I have, in fact, grown quite a bit. I still need some work but hey, don’t we all? lol I’m a little proud of myself actually. I’m beginning to look beyond the old fears and actually take stock in my own self-worth. A nice feeling.

All this coming up has shown me something else. I’ve fallen for him. Maybe not the deep abiding love that comes from being nurtured and reforged over time but love in its infancy. The line has been crossed for me. A good feeling but a scary one.

References

References
↑1 Well, there was the new Ratchet & Clank game.
↑2 Ok, that isn’t true either. His developing feelings for me were involved but not the heart of the problem.