Remind me not to use dirty terms on the blog. The sp@m engines have been having a field day. Too bad, I’m well protected by WordPress. hehehe.
I got an email from some chick in Bulgaria claiming to have stumbled over my blog while looking for big weenies. Then I see brettcajun and n2d33p had similar occurrences. I wonder what Freud would say?
I guess all my frustration at not being productive yesterday built up. I was soooo productive today.
I. . .
cleaned the kitchen
vacuumed the apartment
bought a new broom, mop, and light timer.
But wait! There’s more.
I. . .
went to the gym
paid bills
cleaned the desk (again)
mailed Large Tony‘s Tshirt (again)
went for a ride on the bike
bought some fresh flowers
and went to a 2nd showing of X-men 3.
I even managed to squeeze in some time to be a dirty slut. Whew! I’m tired. *g*
I still need to do some laundry though. Notice I saved the worst for last.
And how is your post holiday week going?
I blog often about my struggle to be a better person. Sometimes I’m successful, others times no so much. But I try.
A while back I had to push someone out of my life. He didn’t understand why. And rather than use the experience to refocus his own life and make changes for the better, he has let insecurities from childhood cripple any chance of growing from it. Lately, we’ve sorta crossed paths. He goes out of his way to snub me, which is understandable. But now, since his attempts to draw me into an argument failed, he has resorted to emailing me about how great his life is and how “I” messed up. (And even though he isn’t supposed to read my blog anymore , I know he still does….I wasn’t born last night after all.) Anyway, if he has, in fact, done all these things he says then my efforts weren’t wasted. If his anger at me spurned him to take action and make changes for the better, nothing would make me happier.
Unfortunately, I don’t believe it. I think it’s just another ploy to lash out at me. Nothing I can do about it now though. I tried for many many years to help him move beyond his anger and resentment. I tried to explain things from a better perspective. Tried till I was blue in the face. It went in one ear and right out the other. So, I’m done now. Now, if he is to make anything of himself, it will have to be on his own. And maybe that’s how it should have been all along. I’m left to wonder if my help was a deterrent. My own growth didn’t come about until I sat down and examined my actions. No one was there to point me in the right direction. I had to figure it out for myself.
Ironically, my friend is a reminder of how far I’ve come in my own life. We grew up very similar in that we were both abused as children. Sure, I could spend my life bitter at the world for all the things I didn’t get, all the wrongs inflicted on me. But where would that leave me? What does it get me? Nothing. Well, except misery. And folks, misery begets misery. I watched misery eat ate my step-mother for years. I’m watching it play out between two of my brothers now. One brother by birth and the other by choice. Both equally sad. (The brother by birth is another story unto itself. I’ll crack it one of these days.)
I tend to be a “fixer”. I like to help people. One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned in my life is there are some things you can’t fix if the person involved isn’t willing.
…by malt liquor and the ever talented Miss Shirley Q. Liquor.
Now for those for you my age (or a little older) this little clip is down right ‘HIGH-larious’. For you young’uns, it’s ok, just go w/it.
Planning to see X-men 3 tomorrow.
Anyone wanna come with?
*** Update – It was good! – The little scene after the credits was a nice surprise ***
I’m over this week. Nothing overly exciting just over it. You know how it is. The weekend fast approaching and you get ants in your pants.
I was goofing off w/the camera and snapped this pic of my buddy kristaki. He so ignunt. Didn’t anybody tell him flipping off the camera is ‘so 80’s’? *g*
I had another ride along today. It went well. Not very busy but something is better than nothing. I always find my ride alongs a lesson in humility. I usually end up dealing w/the down-trodden and cast aways of society. Whether by fault or fate, life dealt these folks a shitty hand. Some make the best of it, others wallow in their misery. Either way, I’m reminded of how lucky I am and how far we need to go as a society before we can even begin to throw around terms like “civilized”. It is unthinkable that we allow folks to sink to such lows.
While responding to a victim of an assualt, we happen to see a man walking the streets sort of erratically. The most striking trait is the odd color of his hands. By odd, they were completely purple. Not a good sign regardless of the reason. It becomes apparent said person isn’t dealing w/a full deck as we watch him perform a sort of hopscotch of hopping back and forth across the street. PD was onscene and mentioned he’d been 5150’d (psych eval’d) previously on several occasions. Uh, yeah! Here we have a man that w/medication and just a modicum of daily intervention could lead a normal even productive life. Thanks to a variety of issues, including our shitty no-good piece-of-shit president’s policy of robbing this country of any social programs, this poor soul is left homeless and forgotten. He wanders the streets on a daily basis in a cloud of chemical dysfuntion. And true to description, after dealing w/our current patient, we can’t find him. Lost once again in the daily shuffle of life. He is but one of many such people in this city. And not just SF, you could pick any large city in the US and encounter a similar problem.
Oh, and our assault victim? A victim true enough. But, as soon as PD left, he hopped out of the ambulance and was on his way. He was what we call a “repeat offender”. Someone who works the ins and outs of the system just so he can get a ‘free ride’. But how free is it when your life is at the whim of social services, housed in squalor, and totally dependent on the kindness of others?
At day’s end I find my faith in my current career choice renewed. I may not be able to save them all but I know I can make a difference. Even if that “difference” is a compassionate face in the chain of faces one must endure when faced w/a life on the streets.
I have so much to write about I’m busting at the seams. I know I’m bound to forget some of it. Oh well, such is life I guess.
I was a good boy and went to the gym today. Nice back/bicep workout. There is a new guy working out the Gold’s on Brannan. Obviously straight but a total hottie. I drop an egg every time I see him basically. Today he said hi to me and I almost yelped. I’m not so silly as to read anything into it. He often sees me and was just being friendly. Moving on…
I was reading brett cajun today and was dismayed by his article on the problems facing New Orleans in the aftermath of Katrina. I say dismayed as exactly what I thought would happen did. Or is happening. (I’m not sure of the grammar here but you get the point.)
We think we are so civilized as a society and yet we aren’t even close. You only need to look at a disaster like Katrina to realize that. We quickly revert back to “fend for ourselves” mentality and screw everyone else. Even worse, the government that we elect to protect and serve, failed it’s citizens in the most fundamental way. The ball was dropped at the local level which created a cascading failure all the way to the top. A failure compounded by our lack of support in the aftermath. I think I’ve beat that point to death so I’ll get back on focus.
Half of my family is from Cajunville so I am no stranger to New Orleans or it’s class issues. New Orleans has always had issues w/racism and poverty. A tiny percentage of the city lives in wealth and prosperity. A tiny percentage of “white folks” mind you. There is a decent size “middle-class community but it is completely overshadowed by the large percentage of people living at or below poverty level. Most of which are black. After Katrina, the government tried a ‘quick fix’ to the problem by throwing money at it and hoping “they’ll take what they can get” and go somewhere else. Well friends, that is not the answer as is becoming obviously clear. The crime rate in New Orleans has sky-rocketed. As often happens, people overlook the subtleties for the more obvious differences. By this I mean race. Considering over half of the population is black and most of those live in the afore mentioned poor conditions, it isn’t a big leap in logic to figure you will have a higher percentage of blacks committing crimes.
When every crime against you is perpetrated by someone who is black, it becomes easy to make assumptions about race. I’m fortunate enough to be far enough removed now to see the issue more clearly. If I still lived in New Orleans, I might think the same thing. But, if we are to truly become civilized then we must move beyond ‘easy answers’ and work on the bigger problems. Hoping “they” will go away hasn’t worked before and won’t work now.
Sadly, I don’t think that will happen in New Orleans but one can still hope right? (And some might think this a pot-shot at Brett. It isn’t. He took some heat for his post and kudos to him for foregoing politeness for honesty. I adore Brett. I just felt the need to sound off my own opinion w/o monopolizing his blog.)
Oh, and one more thing… Saying you “are not a racist” only makes you look like an ass. Everyone is a racist to one degree or another. It is how you act on it that defines you.
Well, since so many of you actually do read on weekends, I thought you’d get a kick out of this. The new roomie is all moved in. I sorta neglected to mention he has done porn in the past. I’ve known him so long I think I tend to subconsciously tune that part of his life out. *g* He is like a ‘sista’ to me so the thought of him naked isn’t exactly appealing. I’m white trash but lesbian sex is just revolting. LOLOL (j/k of course) For the record, he does have a rather manly sexy look. I wouldn’t touch him to scratch him.
🙂
On the way to do laundry today, I was cornered by one of my neighbors. A neighbor who normally maintains an aloofness during our brief interactions. Our conversation went something like this…
Neighbor: Hi Moby, How you doing?
Me: I’m doing fine
Neighbor: I noticed your new roommate moved in last night. Can I ask you something?
Me: Yeah, he is in, fire away.
(Insert look of confusion on how to phrase his next words)
Neighbor: Does your roommate do porn?
Me: Uh, yeah he has in the past, why?
Neighbor: OMG! Is he *** *****?
Me: Yeah, I think that’s right.
(very excited now)
Neighbor: Can you introduce us? I’m his biggest fan. I would be in your debt if you could arrange it.
Me: Uh…well, sure. Can I finish my laundry first?
(frown of disappointment)
Neighbor: Oh, of course. Here is my home # and my cell. Call me when you are done.
Me: Ok, well good to see you.
Neighbor: Oh yeah, good to see you too. You will call right? When you are done?
Me: Yes, I’ll give you a shout.
Lord! What have I got myself into?