Well, today is the holiday and while I don’t really celebrate Thanksgiving in the traditional sense, I do find time to be thankful for the things in my life. If you had told me 15 years ago, I’d be at this place in my life now, I would have laughed in your face. The idea that I could come so far, as a person, in such a short amount of time would have been unbelievable. But here I am.

I have a lot to be thankful for in my life. And as much as I get wrapped up in the minutia of day to day drama, my life is pretty good at the moment. I’ve finally accepted it is possible for me to be this content and have so few worries. It’s taken a couple years to sink in but I’m getting it. Most days, life is deliciously boring. No drama, no tragedies, no failures, just boring day to day interactions. Gym, dog, work, home, hubby, video games, dog, sleep, repeat.

Like Madam used to say, "It’s been a long climb to the middle." For some being grateful for such a life might seem odd. It is probably a starting point for many. I accept that and good for them. I used to regret my life and how hard it was. Over time I realized the struggles I faced helped make me who I am. The odds were definitely against me getting this far. So many things could have gone different, even slightly, and I wouldn’t have made it. I’ve lost count of the small chance occurrences that kept me sane, well, and even alive.

I have the good fortune to be in a good place in life. I try my best not to take that for granted. I am grateful for good friends, a partner in life who gets me, and a slobbering farting bulldog who lives for me. I crawled out of debt this year. I’m overall pretty healthy. Again, all pretty normal things to be grateful for but reading the news and seeing the tragedy here and abroad, I’m still grateful for it all. I bitch and moan about my first world problems but I keep it in perspective. Wherever you are this year, find joy in the good things in your life, no matter how small. I think happiness is found in those ‘little things.’

I’m working as usual. I’ll be stuffing my face at work with a large feed and keeping the officers and city safe as best I can with my coworkers. If you’re not doing the family thing and feel like you are alone, volunteer for a shelter (Human or animal). You’ll be surprised how less alone and bad you feel about your own life. Whatever you do, find some way to pass on the gratitude you have in your own life to others.

Be safe my friends. I wish you a warm, fuzzy, and "stuffed" holiday.


Well, it now seems that dastardly Cajun, brettcajun has given up on blogging. I saw his last update ending his blog and I was a little teary-eyed honestly.1 It seems homer and I are the only two left of our original crew. I miss all of them. I used to spend a huge chunk of my reading every day catching up on personal blogs and getting to know folks thru their writing. It was awesome and made me feel connected to the gay community at large in a way I never thought possible. I’m a bit sad to see a lot of that come to an end. Everything has its purpose I guess.

Granted there are plenty of prolific bloggers out there. But most of the ones left seem focused on trying to make a buck or be famous, neither of which has ever been my goal. I still remember the first blog I ever followed. It was a handsome fella out of Wisconsin. He moved to Chicago after his blog ended and we lost touch after that. I remember feeling a bit foolish reaching out to him at the time. I was worried he’d think I was a stalker. If I’d only known. hehehe

Luckily, homer shows no signs of slowing down. If anything, he is doing better than me at it. I tend to have larger gaps these days. Life gets in the way more now. I’m not sure how long I’ll keep at it, but he itch hasn’t left me yet. I will always have a fondness in my heart for it. My blog and my readership seems to have leveled out over the last few years. I don’t blog near as much about random stuff as I used to. Most of that gets captured on social media. I always see an uptick in readership around the first of the month for some reason. But the averages are pretty even month to month. It does seem like more locals and coworkers read my nonsense more than ever these days.

Ironically, my photo site gets about twice the traffic as my blog. I’m sure there is a joke in there somewhere about a pictures and 1000 words. I originally set it up as a catch all for my online pics. Who knew it would be so popular? It gets consistently solid traffic. I blame Cooper. He is just too cute to miss out on.

I’m still at it though. To all who have gone, you are not forgotten.

  1. No, Brett not because of you. []


Every laugh at how a random conversation will trigger completely unrelated memories? I was making small talk at the gym the other day after my workout and somehow we got on the subject of feet. My buddy Tom mentioned something about a guy’s feet.1 He shared how much he hated going on dates with guys that don’t take care of their feet. I’m sure it isn’t an over unique fetish but it triggered all kinds of memories from my childhood.

As a child I hated wearing shoes. I grew up in the piney woods and my only impression of shoes wasn’t a positive one. I felt they were a nuisance. I refused to wear them anywhere except school or hunting.2 Naturally, it wasn’t uncommon for the bottom of my feet to be calloused with very thick hard skin. It didn’t matter where I was, if I wasn’t fearful of thorns, I was barefoot. There were no concrete sidewalks for miles and miles and that meant no fear of hot surfaces or burnt feet. I even ran track in high school barefoot. Or, at least I did once my coach noticed I won more races when he let me race w/o shoes.

Of course, as an adult I take decent care of my feet. They stay clean, clipped and overall cared for; gone are the heavy callouses. The soles are now a bit sensitive but I still walk around barefoot on most flat surfaces. I often have to remind myself to wear shoes when running out around the block with Cooper. But that has more to do with not wanting to track debris back onto our new carpet.

Thinking back, it does seem a bit gross but back then I never thought anything of it. I’m sure my buddy Tom would have found me particularly gross. I neglected to share the flood of memories with him. heehee

  1. Apparently had a slight fetish []
  2. Hunting meant going into areas of unfarmed land full of briar patches, thorns, and all manner of sharp objects step on []


About once a year, Cooper‘s skin issues get really out of control. Being a bully and white, he really struggles with it pretty much constantly. I manage them pretty effectively most days but every so often it just goes berserk; necessitating a visit to the vets office.



He was recently exposed to fleas for the first time and it set him off like a rocket. I took him off his flea meds as he just never spends much time with other dogs. He has never picked up fleas from the park so it seemed overkill. Clearly a decision I need to rethink. He was scratching and itching like crazy. It also made is other skin issues flare up something fierce. Time for a vet visit.

Having felt a little disgruntled with treatment over his skin problems from the SPCA, I decided to switch to a new vet. Don’t get me wrong, I still highly recommend the SPCA vet clinic here in SF. For trauma treatment, they are the go-to place. However, they don’t always seem to have good experience for special needs dogs like bulldogs. Or at least not in my experience. I’ve had more than one frustrated visit so I decided to make a switch a while back.

I did an old fashioned Google+ search for vets w/good Bulldog experience and found Avenues Pet Hospital here in the city. I was not opposed to going further if need be. And while slightly further than the SPCA, they are right off the MUNI so getting there is quite easy. Cooper loves to go on MUNI.

I felt good just walking in. While in a much older and smaller building, they had a bulletin board full of pics and a large percentage were bullies and frenchies. Score 1 point. The female vet was super friendly and eagerly greeted Cooper and made contact with him as well as myself. Score 2 points. We discussed his ongoing issues, the recent flea outbreak, and his history. She understood his situation almost immediately. She got bonus points for knowing his color makes him all the more sensitive. Obviously, the first goal was to get his flare-up under control. Thru a combo of oral and topical meds, he is much better two weeks after the fact. Actually, he even seems to have more energy than usual.

On our follow up visit, I was again impressed with the expertise and recommendations for Cooper. She was open to trying various treatments to find one that works best for him. We discussed long term care options. As loathe as I am to put him on permanent meds, it might be the best solution. We are trying a lower dose broad spectrum antibiotic that is 1 pill a day plus a topical shampoo with meds to help kill bacteria on the surface of the skin as well. He started the meds this week and we’ll see how he does. If it is effective, it gets reduced to 1 every other day but he’d stay on it.

Wish the Pooper luck!


Well, it looks like the City of Houston will be the only large city in the US to not provide protections for LGBT folks in a variety of areas, including housing and employment. It was a unexpected blow to be honest. I just knew my old stomping ground had moved into current times after electing a gay mayor, not once but twice. It doesn’t help that the initiative should never have been put to a vote anyway.1 Contrary to the established process and even though there was no doubt the appealing side didn’t garner the necessary signatures, the Texas Supreme Court, full of Repugs, sent it to a vote anyway.

My rant today isn’t so much about the failure of the initiative but some of the aftermath. I’ve seen several comments and posts on various social outlets lamenting the initiative included Transgendered protections. It wasn’t so much that people didn’t want transgendered folks included as much as the old argument it was too much too soon.2 And to be fair, there was a time when winning a few protections at a time was a worthwhile pursuit. We carved out rights for the LGB part of the community slowly and often one piece at a time because it was the only way to win then. But that time is over and we are way past it now. It is time for us to change our thinking. We are no longer groveling for whatever we can get. The tide of the law and public opinion has shifted to our side. We need to turn and bring the T in the umbrella forward and stand with them. We need to show the world that like us they too are just humans with lives and dreams of their own. They deserve it as much as we do. They’ve patiently (and not so patiently at times) waited as we gained piece after piece of equality. They sat behind us watching our progression hoping for their chance. And that chance is now. The sad tired argument about their fight being different from ours is pure BS. They get marginalized, discriminated against, assaulted, raped, and murdered just like us. They’ve stood with us since our movement started and it is time for us to stand with them.

Having lived in Houston and the surrounding area for a big percentage of my young adult life, the loss was disappointing on a very personal level. However, the fight continues as Houston now finds itself in a very public view. The mayor and others continue to work on bringing equality to Houston.

  1. In case you missed it, the initiative was enacted legally. It was appealed. The appealing side cheated and when they got caught cheating and turned down they decided to go to court. []
  2. I’m deliberately excluding the article from the homocon over at Breibart. That level of stupid doesn’t even merit an argument []


OHMERGERD! It’s busted!

Busted Moto

As you can see I had an unfortunate mishap with my phone. Arrrgh. Ironically, I had yet to get a single scratch, ding, or dent on it up until the fateful drop yesterday. I knocked it off the top of the Zipcar while unloading Costco. More astutely, I did a mad grab finger flip 3 or 4 times before it flipped, flew, and fell on the concrete cracking the screen and busting the camera as well.

Motorola appears to offer a warranty repair, which means I pay to have it fixed. They are shipping me a temporary replacement in the meantime. I finally find a phone I am happy with and I go and break it. *grumble grumble*

I guess it is good I didn’t sell the G4. I was gonna tough it out but the screen was barely usable. I had to connect it to Bluetooth keyboard just so I could clean off a few things. Points to Tmo for making the process to activate my old SIM super easy and quick It took literally just a few minutes.

Sadly, I find myself still hating the G4.1 I had such a negative reaction when it came on I was a bit surprised. I don’t think I’ve ever been so annoyed by an Android variant before. The OEM version is just annoying. The only nice thing about the whole thing is the sense tap. Going back to it is such a contrast to the Moto X PE. The pure Android experience has spoiled me once again it seems.

Pray for my baby to be returned fast.

  1. Please remind me to never ever buy a LG phone again. []


I used to have a scrolling marque on my blog that ran thru a list of my favorite quotes and phrases. Some were my own and others were ones I always found inspirational. I randomly discontinued it in my never ending tinkering with my blog themes. One of my favorite phrases is "what you think of me is really none of my business." It has become one of my daily axioms. I mention it because I often say many of said phrases in conversation.

Just such a conversation came up recently. I had chance as part of one of my training assignments to interact with a couple coworkers whom I’m not overly close to. I know them well enough but we just aren’t besties at work. We rarely spend much time talking beyond specific work duties. Anyway, through our conversations one coworker caught me saying my phrase above and really latched onto it. She found it to be very "deep", as she put it, and felt like it was a great mechanism to learn by. This led to more talks and how the struggles in my own life led me to the phrase. We shared several life stories and connected in a way we never had before. It very uplifting.

It is also why I never close myself off from such random chance moments. Beyond being Southern1 , I’ve always felt simple human interaction is the key to most of our societal woes. It is much harder to objectify and marginalize someone when you know them personally. You can’t just disassociate yourself from them and act as if it doesn’t affect you. Anyway, I digress. My coworker really liked the phrase and hopefully she applies it in her own life in constructive ways. It came up in such a way regarding one of her own views and I think hearing it really made her feel good.

On a side note, it was also a great reminder of how far I’ve come as a person. I probably harp too much on my personal growth but I’m damn proud of it. I used to be a mess! lolol Back then, I’d never have thought anyone would value my advice or opinions. I didn’t value them so how could others? I’ve discussed here several times how finding my inner confidence2 changed me in so many small ways. I forget those changes can and do have ripple effects. They radiate out from me and change forever how I interact with others. These are often subtle cues but it is so profoundly gratifying to still recognize it in myself.

And now, another very popular phrase I’m fond of, "Hope springs eternal….."

  1. being friendly to strangers is in our blood []
  2. the realization was quite the epiphany for me at the time []



One of my best friends was in town this past weekend for a much needed visit. It has been a while (years actually) since we’ve seen each other and it was great to see him. He got to meet Shawn and they both liked each other. As for the weekend, we didn’t do anything overly exciting. We did a few touristy things but mostly just hung out and caught up on our lives. It’s actually been almost 3 years since we’ve seen each other. We have a mutual third friend who wasn’t able to come but he was with us in spirit. (Plenty of spirits where had, I’m sure he was in one of them!)

Trev and I have always had an easy friendship. By easy I mean we could go years not seeing each other and when we do, it is like we just saw each other yesterday. We sat down, counted it out, and we’ve been friends now for 21 years. Twenty-one years! Friendships like that are hard to come by and I consider it a blessing in my life. In our talks, we looked back across the years of friendship at friends that are now absent. Some have passed on, some left on their own, and a very few we had to step away from, respectively. The latter is a very small number. All that are gone, for whatever reason, are not forgotten. We tried to focus on the good memories and laughed a lot.

We’ve both had big life events in the last couple years, but agreed we shouldn’t let that get in the way next time. We promised each other we wouldn’t go so long this time w/o seeing each other in person. It is a promise I plan to keep. I don’t even think I realized how much I missed him in my daily life.


Well, here we are moving into year 12 of this here blog thingy.  Who woulda thunk it all those years ago when I started? Twelve years!

I’ve made many awesome friends along the way and said goodbye to a few as well. As I slowly pulled myself out of my immaturity and into adulthood, I got a chance to share my struggles with others. It was and still is my hope that others can gain insights from my struggles and be better for it.

I’m still at it . I went from answering questions of “What is a blog?“, to “OMG you have a blog too?“, to “You still blog?” and still at it. Hehehe I assumed it would be that way way back when. I kinda took to it right away and instantly expected to be doing it for years.

My favorite responses are often via Facebook when someone tells me they don’t read blogs but proceeds to go on and on about my Facebook post shared from my blog. I get on tickled.1  Anyway, moving into year 12 I hope to be a little more consistent. It seems life, laziness, and video games routinely interfere. I know, how rude?! 

I was looking back the other day and just sighed heavily with so many emotions. I didn’t think I’d ever find this point in my life. I never dreamed I’d find the contentment in my soul or the level of happiness I’ve achieved. It is still a bit much at times to accept it.

After so many struggles, so many battles, and so much angst, a boring daily life can be such an amazing blessing!  Here is to year 12!

  1. It is the little things in life, ain’t it? []


My fat ass is finally seeing some weight loss. Matrimonial bliss and 2 surgeries put me on the complacent path some time ago. I’m better at getting back to the gym on a regular basis but still don’t consider myself on a consistent schedule yet.1 It is good to see results of my efforts so far and I’m inspired to keep at it.

I’m down about 15 lbs to 202. I could actually put on my "regular" jeans yesterday for the first time in months. To be fair, I could still wear them before but they looked like they were sprayed on body paint. And the idea of camel toe for guys was a major concern. heehee Yesterday, they were snug for sure but looked pretty normal.

I hate feeling out of shape but the complacency has been strong. Video games and erratic schedules makes for a lot of impromptu (read ‘not very healthy’) meals as well. The combo of bad eating and no gym has made for a fat Moby. I can clearly relate to how often you see straight guys get married and then blow up in size. It’s so damn easy.

It doesn’t help that our society focuses on convenience over health in our diet. But that is only an excuse so no need to go down that path. Hope springs eternal….

  1. The struggle is real! []