Hawaii Trip

We are headed to Hawaii this week! OMFG I am sooo excited. We’re going for the obvious reasons and to see my buddy Rick who moved back home from SF a couple years ago. He (and his partner Jeremy)  graciously offered to put us up at his place so we are saving money as well. Win, win!  I’m also looking forward to meeting Bubbles, his version of Cooper. She is a brindle and white bully and looks ever so sassy! I can’t wait to meet her. Sadly, I can’t bring Cooper. He is too old to fly, even inside the plane. And I’d never forgive myself if something happened to him.

I’ve only been to Hawaii once and it was back when I was a wee lad at 18. I was invited along by a guy I was dating at the time. All I remember is the visit to the lava and booze.1  We also went to one of the smaller islands. This time, we are headed to the Kona on the big island. I’m really looking forward to the trip. The closer it gets the less focus I seem to have. hehehe

Shawn surprised me with my very own Nintendo Switch this week. He also managed to get me hooked on the new Legend of Zelda gama. hehehe  I’m usually not a Nintendo fan; however, I admit to enjoying the game. I don’t want to bash Nintendo as a console, but they are usually pretty basic. The switch is pretty polished and nails the potability factor hands down. I’ve yet to play any online games so can’t really review the process so far. It’s a tad more basic in design and graphics than Xone or PS4 games; however, Zelda also clocks in a roughly 80-hour game time. That’s pretty damn good for one game. It should keep us busy on the loooong plane rides to and from. And I’m always flattered and appreciative of Shawn’s kindness.

I’ll try to remember to take pics while I’m gone. I’m horrible about taking pics on vacation. Ironically, being on IG this past year may help me to remember. heehee For you folks that have been to the big island, feel free to send tips or great places to see/do.




  1. I drank way more before I turned 21 lol []

Personal Best

In the utterly mundane and shallow, I hit a new personal best at the gym the other day!  I’ve come close a few times in the past but now I’ve officially hit 200lbs using dumbbells on the flat bench. And for some that is probably no big deal, for me it is. When I started weight lifting I could barely bench a 45lb barbell by itself.1  To have come this far is very rewarding.

I was actually giddy picking up the 100lb dumbbells for the first time. Hahaha  You always see those weights at the end of the rack but being able to actually lift them is completely different! I was grinning ear to ear I was so excited. I know it was silly but I couldn’t help myself. I’m sure I looked like a proud peacock at the time.

I’ve been focused this last year on totally revamping my workouts and focusing on pushing my muscles to exhaustion vs doing a set routine. I’m definitely doing much better than years past. I’ve actually noticed the growth in my arms visually, which is hard to do when you see yourself every day in the mirror. I’ve let go of the idea of how much weight I’m doing and focusing purely on consistency and timed reps. I’ve been working out 4-6 days a week and I’m proud to see some good results.

I’m very happy with where I am, especially since I’m working around an old shoulder injury and two metal plates in my collarbones. And speaking of injuries, my arm tendons have all but healed up. Sadly, one of my triceps’ ligaments is sore in its place. UGH!  It is hell getting old.  I had to cut my arm workout short yesterday. The ligament has been a little sore the last couple weeks. I’ve been stretching it to minimize the soreness; however, I could tell yesterday it was on the verge of a real injury so I stopped.  Sadly, my abs are still covered in a layer of fat. I blame those damn girl scouts! They setup every corner in the gayto and they make a killing! Devils in skirts I tell ya!

In other news, we are headed to Hawaii next week to see my buddy Rick! I probably won’t see the inside of a gym the whole time I’m there. I haven’t been to Hawaii since I was like 18 so I barely remember it. We’re hitting the big island where Kona is. That is where my buddy lives. He was kind enough to offer us a free place to stay so we are saving a shit-ton of money on travel expenses. I can’t take Cooper but he’ll be in good hands with my neighbor Chuck.




  1. I was soooo scrawny as a young man []

How to Respond? 

An interesting situation presented itself to me recently. Not too long after I moved to SF, I was flirting with a guy online I had seen at the gym and around town several times. In my view he was damn near perfect. Perfect is always a subjective term but he definitely turned my crank.  Now keep in mind, this was pre-mobile app world and even before blogging. Hehehe  Anyway, he went out of his way to demean me and attempted to shame me for assuming I was at his level. At the time, I was still pretty dysfunctional and while I didn’t let him know it, his comments hurt my feelings pretty bad. I still had such low self-worth back then and it just fed into my compulsive behavior and insecurities.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago, he literally  runs into me at the gym, and clearly not realizing who I was, proceeds to put the moves on me pretty hard. How should one respond to that? How would you have responded?

*

Before I give my actual response, let me step back for a second. I’m not the man I was back then. I’ve found myself. I’ve struggled for sure but gone are the days where such comments would even phase me. While I certainly recovered from his slight, it did give me enough pause at the time to wonder if I had made a mistake in moving to SF.

Besides the internal changes I’ve made over the years, I’ve also packed on quite a few pounds of muscle from those days. Maybe that’s why he’s sudden change of “heart.”?  Honestly, the why doesn’t really concern me. And in the simple act of realizing I don’t need to know what changed his mind, I was given an affirmation of my struggle. An affirmation to the near death of my crippling insecurities from those days. And I know I’ve posted several times over the last couple years about my random affirmations or epiphanies. I think there is a deep part of my id that refuses to accept my transformation. A tiny seed of doubt is still there. And because I recognize it, I stay vigilant against it ever growing into anything more than a seed.

*

At that moment, a lot of things ran thru my head pretty quickly. I admit a tiny part of me was tempted to say yes. I mean I am an opportunist after all, and he is still pretty hot in my eyes Heehee  But My first thoughts were “why now?” And then my second thought was “why do I care why now?” That spawned an idea to test the waters so to speak. I declined his advance and began to walk away. As I did, I heard him mutter, “your loss.”  I wasn’t even tempted to reply or act as if I’d heard his obvious barb. I just kept walking and went back to my workout.

A few things occurred to me as I walked away. One, he clearly hasn’t grown or changed since the first time we met. Two, the potentially delicious joy of rubbing his face in it after we’d hooked up would have been more about revenge than attraction. And three, I felt a great swell of pity for him. He is trapped by his own insecurities and his protective coping mechanisms are crippling him much like mine did to me. The problem is as he ages those protective acts/thoughts won’t hold up to the harsh realities around him.

Anniversary of Mom’s Death

I think this is the first year I haven’t been sad during the anniversary of my mother’s death. It snuck up on me and the grand day arrived before I even knew it.

In year’s past, without even realizing it on a conscious level, I would get sad for anywhere from a few days to a couple weeks. I’d start searching my thoughts and feelings to figure out what was wrong and realize it was her anniversary. And for you long-time readers, I’m sure you know I’m referring to my foster mother, not my step-mother.

I’d like to think I’ve reached a point of happiness and contentedness in my own life that I no longer yearn for her in my life. She was only in my life for a few brief years as a child but all my best memories of childhood revolve around her. Even though I was adopted1, I never felt like she treated me any different. I was her baby boy and the memories I have of her are full of love and good things.

For most of my adult life I always wished she was still around. I felt like I needed her. I felt like if she’d survived that brutal fight with cancer my life would have been vastly different. I can’t know for sure how things might have been different. My soul ached for her in the early (miserable) days of adulthood. I still remember crying myself into exhaustion on her grave one year in my late 20’s. I’d been away for several years and felt like I was disrespecting her memory. I was so lost as a person back then. I felt robbed of her love and potential influence. I remember being embarrassed it took longer than I thought it should to find her plot. The cemetery had grown and changed over the years and many of the familiar markings were gone. I remember how completely adrift, cold, and utterly alone I felt when I left her grave that day. It was probably the second saddest day in my life.

Obviously, I survived and moved forward. And yet, every year around this time a wave of sadness would hit me. Some years I knew in advance and embraced it, other years it just happened and I would scramble to figure out why I was so sad. This year the big day came and I was fine. It was a shock to look down at my phone and realize the day. I felt a small pang of sadness for a moment and then smiled.

I still remember her and wish she had been a bigger part of my life. I still wish she was here in this world with me. None of those things have changed. So what has changed? I haven’t forgotten her. Is it just time and age? It might be a bit of both but I like to think it’s another sign I’ve grown up. Gone is the injured boy locked inside the body of a young adult man. In his place is a man mature and experienced enough to handle the world and his own shortcomings head on. It’s certainly been a struggle but I like to think that. I think she would be proud of the man I’ve become.

The memories of her grows slightly more fuzzy every year now. It used to be so crisp and firm in my mind’s eye. I still remember her face but even it is starting to change. I don’t have many pictures of her but the few I do have help me keep her face alive in my memory. I have zero contact with anyone from her side of the family. I haven’t seen any of them in over 25 years. (Many of them didn’t like that I was adopted, from what I’ve been told) There is only my older brother and myself now to remember her. He is in prison and he never talks about her. We’ve never discussed her once since she died actually. He is many years older than me and we were never overly close, even back then. I certainly wasn’t the little brother he wanted. But, as long as he and I remember her, she still lives.




  1. I didn’t know it at the time. []

46

Well, it’s finally happened. I’ve crossed the threshold. Now that I’m 46 I’m closer to 50 than 40. In gay culture, I’m officially ancient. hehehe  It doesn’t help that my birthday is on inauguration day. I promptly did my best to avoid that shit show! It wasn’t easy considering all the protests.

I don’t get sad or depressed on my birthday. I never quiet understood that but it hasn’t happened to me. I certainly hope it never does. Anyway, Shawn was actually away on work. I was off on the big day but my co-workers made me a whole batch of oatmeal raisin cookies at work. They know my weakness. And yes I ate them all in 2 days. Time to do more cardio.

The big day was pretty quiet. I spent time with da Cooper and just being a home body. I made it to Starbucks to get my freebie drink. Shawn was away for work but came home early Saturday. He booked tickets for us to go see Kathy Griffin! I love me some Kathy G and have been to her shows several times. She was hilarious as ever. She is starting a new tour and was trying out new material. Her show ran long which was a blessing as it was raining cats and dogs all damn evening. One new element was a lot of new references to older hollywood stars. A big part of her schtick is calling out famous celebrities and if you’re under 30 many of the jokes and stories might be lost on you this tour. Being a geezer now of course, I got most of them. hehehe  She was funny and irreverant as ever. It was a great gift.

Shawn got me one more gift in Sharks tickets. We went this past Thusday for a home game down in San Jose. Hockey is one of the only sports I truly enjoy. I enjoy it enough I’ll even watch it on tv. Live games are always great. Shawn thought it would make a nice gift for me, and he was right. I actually used to go a lot when I first moved to SF. The problem is San Jose is at least an hour and half away by car. You can make it in just over an hour by train if you catch the bullet. Sadly, the only trains back aren’t bullets and it’s an hour and half home. It’s an effort to get off work in time to get down to SJ in time for the game. I just slowly stopped going as the effort was just too much. But, it is a fun event and I like that Shawn has an interest in hockey and we can enjoy it together. Anway, the game was pretty good even though the Sharks ended up losing. They are top of their Division right now and doing really well in the Westeren Conference as well.

As mentioned above, I am not saddened as I get older. In some ways I’m fortunate. I didn’t feel like I ‘lost’ my childhood and it was so awful I don’t really miss it. I survived more in the first 25 years of my life than most people do in a lifetime. What’s to be sad about? I’m back in great shape. I’d dare say the best shape of my life. I’ve backed a few lbs of muscle this last year and shed some of the gut I’d built up from complacency. I have a stable job, a roof over my head, a hubby and a doggie that both love me. *Knock on wood*  I’m very fortunate at this point in my life and I’m still relishing it even though it isn’t really new anymore.

So no, I’m not sad to be getting older. I like my growing wrinkles and grey hairs. I don’t blur or “fix” them in my photos/selfies. Wrinkles are often a sign of a life lived IMO. Granted, I do wish the muscles and joints were a bit more flexible. hehehe  I am definitely noticing a difference at the gym. I am not a young man anymore and my joints/ligaments aren’t either. I won’t say it’s harder to workout now as much as it requires some modification. I can’t push my joints/ligaments with abandon like I did as a younger man. They don’t bounce back as quickly and if I push them too far, they break. Case and point, I’ve been fighting tendinitis in both my forearms/elbows like never before.1  I finally had to take time off from working my arms to let them heal. I’m also modifying my workouts to accommodate the fact I can’t just push heavier and heavier weights to gain muscle. There are different ways to burn out the muscles and stimulate muscle growth. I’m trying to be smart about it and have challenging workouts w/o hurting myself.

In my mind I don’t feel 46. If I had to pick age age, I still feel like I’m 30. I think I’m fixated on my 30’s because it wasn’t until then I achieved a level of income beyond just survival. I’m 30 but with 16 more years of wisdom. hehehe  Now if I could just get my joints to feel that way! On the flip side, I have become a huge homebody these last few years. One of Shawn and I’s resolutions for this year was to get out and do more. It doesn’t have to be lots of trips and expenses, but get out be active more. Going to hockey games is a good start!

I’m 46 and making another trip around the sun above ground. For someone who never I’d even see my 40’s, I’m looking forward to another successful trip around the sun. And as always, hope springs eternal…




  1. One arm appears to be healed up []

Manners

I’ve probably lamented this before but manners are all but dead these days. People are so entitled and rude it’s astounding. This is yet another reason we seem to be devolving into chaos. 

I’m at Starbucks the other day getting a refill and this chick comes in and tries to cut in front of like 3 people. She gets called on it and tried to act suprised at first. Realizing it isn’t going to work she then switches to a rather indignant tone about how she is in a hurry and her kid is in the car. The older gentleman she cut in front of wasn’t having any of it. He promptly told her to get the hell to the back of the line and go get her damn kid out of the car. I could have hugged him. Sadly, I’ve witnessed this scenario more than once at Starbucks. At this point everyone is staring and she floundes out in a huff. 

*

I’m walking down the street a few weeks back and it’s raining. I watch a women with an umbrella covering herself and letting her teenage kid walk in the rain. She seemed to think it was perfectly ok to let the kid just get soaking wet. I could hear her bitching about how her sweater couldn’t get wet. How about you not wear the damn sweater on a rainy day? 

*

A guy is rushing to cross the street and trips a women by accident. Does he stop to help her? Nope, the f**ker just kept going. Well that is until another man coming the other direction spun him around and physically pushed him back over to where the women was. I didn’t hear the conversation but the other man made it pretty clear he was going to help the women up or get his ass beat.1 This one really upset me. Had the other gentleman not intervened I would have. Luckily, the woman wasn’t injured. 

*

Don’t even get me started on how often guys are rude as shit at the gym. The other day I saw a guy facetiming while trying to workout. And if you live stream your workout in a busy gym, you need a punch to the dick. 

*

I may not be the most refined peson on the planet. Lawd knows I don’t come from “good stock.”  But I try to use my maners often. Sometimes my mouth might get the best of me, but that’s OK because I can also apologize when necessary. Either way, be considerate and remember there is more to the world than your little bubble of self awareness. 




  1. I always forget to take out my phone and record this kind of stuff. []

Pixel XL

My present to myself this year was a new Pixel 

Pixel Xl Really Blue
XL phone. As some of you might remember I rejoined the Sammy line with the S7 Edge a few months back with the promise of better battery and less bloat. And while the battery was better, after an OS update it went back to being marginal at best. After much back and forth in the forums and tweaking apps to pin down a bad player, I just gave up. And for most people, the battery is probably more than sufficient.

I’m a power user and I still lament having to give up my Experia Z3. The best smartphone battery ever! Hands down the winner in real world use. That thing would last all day with heavy use. Anyway, seeing more and more reviews for the Pixel battery and other features, I couldn’t help myself. I couldn’t “jump” on the Tmo plan since it is currently “exclusive” to Verizon. However, tricky Tmo found a work around in that they’ll reimburse you monthly up to $325.00 if you register the Pixel on their network. Sold! The only hiccup was the lady tried to force me onto one of Tmo’s newer plans. I staunchly refused and threatened to back out completely. After some back and forth and her seeing how long I’ve been with Tmobile, she relented.1

I am absolutely in love with the Pixel XL. First, it is 100% Android. If you have never used a Nexus brand with pure Android, you have never experienced the OS the way it was meant to function. It is simple and elegant. Not a lot of fluff but gets the job done. Google+ leaves the fluff to app-developers. However, if a certain feature becomes super popular as to be almost ubiquitous, Google+ will incorporate it into newer versions of the OS, touch sense, smart lock, etc. The OS in it’s purest form is just lovely. I’m so glad to be back. The Moto X Pure I had was pretty close, it just turned out not to be a good performer in chip speed.

I left the Nexus brands in the past due to mediocre hardware. This time around the new Pixel brand from Google+ is no slouch in the hardware department. It is definitely a premium phone. Hopefully, they learned from the previous failures of the Nexus line. I opted for the larger XL as I am accustomed to the larger screens. Also, being on pure Android means I get security patches or upgrades to the OS as soon as they are released. No more waiting for the carrier or hoping they even get around to doing an update. Google+ is pretty strict about the patches but OS upgrades can be hit and miss. A huge annoyance but still a first world problem.

I opted to transfer everything directly this time using the cable from phone to phone. OMG! It was super fast. Way faster than waiting for everything to re-download from the app store. Some of the apps didn’t even seem to notice I had moved, I was still logged in and everything. I was up and running at record speed. Other phones offer this too, this was just the first time I opted to use it.

Shawn commented he thought it looks like an Iphone because of the white bevel; however, I disagree. No dimple and no silly lightning port. heehee The fingerprint sensor is embedded in the back and rather than your thumb ease of use requires your index finger. It also turns on and unlocks the phone at the same time if you place your finger on the sensor while the screen is off. Sammy you had to at least push once to wake up the phone, then the sensor woke up. Not a big annoyance at all but one less step is always nicer. Of course, I opted for the “really blue” colored one. I’m not a big fan of the large bevel on the bottom but I’m already used to it. At first, I kept looking for the old S7 button on the bevel.

The most important part so far is the battery. It is definitely better! I would say not quite at the Z3 level but pretty damn close! I can get thru a full 10 hour work day with moderate to heavy use and still have enough to hit the gym and make it home before needing a charge. If I use is super heavy, I still get thru work but need a quick charge before hitting the gym. It does not support wireless charging but it does have quick charge. The one annoyance is I have to upgrade some of my cables since the new phone is USB-C. The latter is the new version of USB with a uniform shape so no matter which way you plug it in, it fits.2 It comes with a USB to USB-C out of the box and a USB-C dual end cable. These are fine but I need longer cables so will have to invest in extras. It does suck a bit after having the same standard for years to have to switch to newer cables. Again, first world problems.

Getting the phone was a bit of a pisser. FedEx sucks monkey balls. The phone shipped overnight for a premium. I paid the premium. It’s supposed to ship with guaranteed next day delivery by 3pm. Or so FedEx loves to claim. The next day rolls around no phone by 3:00 pm. I wait till 4:30 to call. I knew being Xmas eve, expecting it to on time at 3:00 was a bit much. I wasn’t angry or upset. The tech looks it up and assure me it is on the truck and would arrive sometime before 8:00 pm. Ok, no worries. I had signed up for the email updates so around 6:30 pm I get an update that the package was rechecked at the SF facility! Needless to say I’m a bit confused. I call and spend roughly 20 minutes on hold. No exaggeration, I spent that amount of time on hold. It’s now after 7:00 pm. The first tech was completely indifferent and couldn’t be bothered to care. He gave me some excuse about the shipment being delayed. I’m like you realize that is a total lie, right? Your company said it was on the truck twice today, there is no delay in shipment. He hems and haws and finally admits the tech had too much delivery and didn’t finish. I’m like, “ok, but that still doesn’t explain why it is checked back in at 6:00 when you’re supposed to be delivering until 8:00 pm.” He seemed utterly flummoxed that his indifferent answer didn’t satisfy me. I finally end up with a supervisor. It is now 7:40. The supervisor is just as indifferent and was even less helpful. Since we were leaving for LA the next day and I really wanted to have the phone to take with me, I asked if they could hold it and I would pick it up. Nope! We totally dropped the ball and even know we’ve verified you are the recipient, we totally can’t hold it. I’m so livid at this point I had to say goodbye as I would have gone off and Shawn would have been mad at me for mistreating them. Granted they personally weren’t at fault but I’d expect a little more help when calling. So the moral of this paragraph children? Don’t ever use sh*tty FedEx. Use UPS. Hell, even the US Post Office doesn’t act that indifferent and they are civil service!

All the frustration aside, I finally got it after we got back. First world problems abated. The phone is awesome and I’m in love with it. If you can afford it out of pocket3 I highly recommend it. It is a great phone.




  1. That trick almost always works. With the exception of a brief 6 months on Cingular back in the day, I’ve been with Tmo since they were VoiceStream []
  2. You’d think the tech world would have had this ages ago. []
  3. if you’re not on Verizon and able to get it for free []

Straight Dude

Ugh, I’m so over our every increasing need to make straights into secret gays. Every day there is some new tag-line or nonsense story about “straight dudes having gay sex but they are totally straight, gay for pay, brojobs, on the DL, straight but curious, etc”. It’s all nonsense. 

Newsflash! If you’re having gay sex, regardless of the reasons, you aren’t entirely straight. Our sensationalist style media doesn’t help either. They know coining it this way leads to more ad-clicks. Greed is king.  But calling yourself “straight” or performing linguistic gymnastics doesn’t change the truth. If you’re putting your cock in another dude, for any reason including money, you’re a “little bit gay.” Society may help you repress or ignore it but it’s still there.
To quote Gore Vidal, “Trust a nitwit society like this one to think that there are only two categories — gay and straight1  Our genetics makes us incredibly varied in our forms and behaviors. Why we cling to this idea that we can only be gay or straight is beyond me, especially now. Don’t even get me started on the whole straight fetish scene either. I get it, for some it is the allure that ‘straight’ dudes are somehow more masculine. Whatever pops your cork, but don’t for a minute think you are fooling anyone.

To be fair, we do see more folks admitting they are sexually fluid these days, Sexually fluid is just another term for being bisexual but if it makes it sound nicer, who am I to argue? 

It is natural for us to label things and people. Labels help our brains process and identify our reality. It makes everything “more real” in our minds. However, we also have something called logic and reason. Don’t fall for these silly attempts at pretense. Own it. Be your most authentic self. And don’t fall for the idea you have to identify as this or that to feel more accepted. If you’re mostly ‘straight’ but occassionaly like a little d*ck on the side, own it. Don’t pretend a very real part of you doesn’t exist and don’t try to ignore it. Our id will not be ignored. It will come out at some point, and often not in a good way. Be whatever makes you feel happiest and/or the most fulfilled. Don’t fall for these shameful scams at avoiding being labeled gay. It discredits our right to be. There isn’t anything wrong with being gay or straight or anywhere in between. Being gay doesn’t make you less manly or masculine anymore than being straight makes you more so. And if you feel the need to avoid the label, ask yourself why?  It might help you face your own demons. Regardless, we owe it to ourselves not to reinforce these stereotypes. 

/rant 




  1. He actually said “fag” but the quote gets cleaned up from time to time []

IG: Blocked

So in my continuing fascination with IG1, I got blocked yesterday by a guy I follow. Me and my southern sensibilities are to blame. *giggle*

This guy posts lots of scantily clad photos of himself (and his hubby) on a daily basis. And to be fair, he is rather handsome. I mean it is was pretty much the reason I followed him in the first place. hehehe IG is 70% motivation for the gym for me. I follow a lot of bodybuilders. This particular guy isn’t a BB but still very lean and muscled. We’ve chatted very briefly a maybe 2 or 3 times via the message function. We don’t know each other but seemed to have friendly banter in common. And to be fair to him, none of his photos are overly expressive. They are often very suggestive though.

Anyhoo, he’d taken to ranting about all the requests he gets for nudes and other graphic comments in the last couple weeks. *scratching my head* Don’t get me wrong, sending someone you starfish uninvited is pretty brazen, but asking for nudes is pretty harmless. I mean you don’t have to send them or even reply. I personally never asked but I sure as hell don’t act all butt-hurt2 when someone asks. And if you send me nudes or your starfish uninvited, you just get ignored.

I sent him what I thought was a humorous message about his rant and how it was a little unfair to complain. He didn’t reply, he just blocked me. heehee Don’t get me wrong, I’m not upset. I’m just pointing out the hypocrisy of it. I mean hello, it’s IG! You can’t acted shocked or surprised when folks ask for more of what you’re teasing with. Last time I checked, asking for something was considered good manners. Silly me and my crazy sense of logic, right?

*

I block folks all the time for being abusive, rude, posting ads or the guaranteed follower nonsense. Beyond that, I usually just ignore the rest. However, I did get accused of being an ‘impostor’ recently. The secret to IG is the hastags. Apparently, people often search out tags and if you tag enough, you get more traffic. I never search tags but I understand the appeal. Anyway, I use several fitness tags on many of my gym selfies and I guess said fellow felt because I wasn’t buff enough I was somehow an impostor. Uh, OK. I ignored his silly message until he started sending curse words over and over. He got reported and blocked at that point. So while I see the need for the feature at times, being a tease and then being angry people want and ask for more is childish.

I know, I know I shouldn’t complain about things I’m powerless to control. Shawn would probably scold me for messaging him in the first place, but I couldn’t help it.3 And I did try to be funny about it. I wasn’t trying to be rude or condescending. Oh well, N E X T…..!




  1. Instagram []
  2. see what I did there! []
  3. He is even more pragmatic than I am []

Basic Civics

I’ve been avoiding FB for quite some time now. I’ve finally relented and slowly eased back into it. It was quite refreshing to avoid the doom and gloom news as well as the rampant nonsense. I’m seriously gonna try to limit my presence there from now on. It just isn’t healthy. 

Being away has certainly helped me avoid being baited into ridiculous arguments with folks who often have no idea what they are ranting about. Case and point,  my buddy Rick was having a bad day and ranted about being truly hurt by any of his’friends’ who voted for Trump. The thread didn’t devolve completely but one fellow felt the need to tell us all how duped we are for thinking our votes matter. When I offered that he was part of the problem, he really went off. He never realized his rant pretty much proved my point. 

Later, my sense of fairness got the better of me and I started thinking about it. I asked around in a few different forums and was disappointed. lol  It seems a lot of people don’t understand basic civics in relation to voting. So here it is a nut-shell. I’m not going into every detail but your vote does matter. It matters a great deal; however, you also need to understand how our constitution works. Our country was formed thru a collection of states joining together to create a cohesive republic.1

Our founding fathers came up with the electoral college to even out the power of individual states to sway an election. There is some argument about also being designed to avoid letting crazy people like Trump get elected but I can’t say for sure in that regard. But the point of the electoral college is simple. Thru local votes of individuals an electorate is expected to vote for said candidate. This is done state by state based on their allotment of electoral votes. Simply put, the closer to your local government you vote, the more power your individual vote carries. On a local or state level our votes are pretty much equal. There are some exceptions in a few states but overall this is true. 

As for the presidency, our votes were never designed to be equal across state lines. While you may feel your vote might count less than someone else’s, when you look at how states actually vote for the president thru the electoral college it makes perfect sense. And while there might be an argument on whether we need a constitution amendment to shift our focus away from states rights to the individual, that is a different conversation. Your vote was never designed to be equal to everyone else’s in the country. I know, I know, you’re shocked. hehehe  If it were the design, the most populous states would constantly decide elections. Smaller, less dense states would be left out in the cold. This is how our constitutional system was setup. 

The idea that your vote doesn’t count is part of why we are in the quandry we are in now. Population explosion, indifference, and a variety of social-economic influences are pushing people away from being involved with their government at any level. If we truly want to right our ship so to speak, we need to overcome this. We need to be involved. It may not seem like it’s that important but Turmp’s win is a shining example to the contrary. 




  1. Look a real footnote! Republic, noun: a state in which supreme power is held by the people and their elected representatives, and which has an elected or nominated president rather than a monarch []