Secret

We’ve heard tons of comments on white privilege in recent weeks, but what about religious privilege? We are quite accustomed to hearing from the fundies about how they are being persecuted. The reality is religion is given an exceptionally wide berth in this country.

In recent days, I’ve seen a plethora of news stories on church pastors talking about killing LGBT folks for just existing and having the audacity to want equal rights. And don’t get me started on those Duggar assholes. All of these folks are becoming desperate because they realize they are losing their so called culture war. Forgetting the normal rants on how we are single-handedly causing the destruction of everything because … "god" for a moment, they’ve upped their game now and completely gone off the deep end.

It is time for us as a citizenry to start reigning this nonsense in. You can believe whatever brand of crazy you want as long as you keep it to yourself. You can believe I am personally going to some imaginary place of eternal suffering after I die because I refuse to fall in line with your brand of crazy.1 But the moment you start calling for me to be less than other humans or calling for my death, you no longer get a say. The moment you start trying to legislate your beliefs on everyone you’ve crossed the line into bigotry. Your ignorant bile is not welcome in society anymore. ​

Even worse in my mind are the people who go around giving lip-service to their so-called faith but do nothing to stop the insanity. Where are all the other church pastors decrying this behavior? Where is the outcry from the millions of Americans who ‘claim’ to be christian? Why are they not condemning these fanatics? Could it be because their supposedly non-violent book of fairy tales is actually very violent. We are quick to talk about how Islam is a violent religion but we brush off our own brand of crazy. Well, your dirty little secret is out and we ain’t buying it anymore.

In my book you no longer get a pass. Your privilege ends with me. Stop sharing your smarmy photos and memes on social media about how wonderful your [insert deity of choice here] is and start calling out the crazies in your own ranks. If you are not calling them out then you are complicit in their actions. And if you are an LGBT person on top of it, you bear the shame of knowing your inaction directly contributes to the oppression of your brothers and sisters.




  1. I still can’t get over the ‘shell-fish is an abomination’ clause. I sends me into hysterics every time. Of course we realize how crazy that is but magically forget it when it comes to begin gay. []

Still Double

​I had my first follow up with the doc since the surgery. Structurally, everything is pretty awesome. Both the docs seemed overly pleased with how well the implant placement and eye adjustment turned out.

Sadly, I’m still seeing double vision. It is much improved in many ways but still happens enough to be bothersome. It doesn’t help that the right eye is also weaker from a vision stand point. He said it is still too soon to know for sure. It is very possible my eyes may just start adjusting and the double vision could go away completely.

Worse case scenario, he says if it doesn’t improve more I could go back for an additional surgery. This time they would adjust the muscle of the eye where it attaches to the eyeball. If the muscle has atrophied too far away, this might be the final fix.

He told me I could start wearing the contacts/glasses again. The extra sharpness would benefit by brain trying to refocus my eyes in sync with each other. I’ve reached out to my original optometrist and will mostly likely see her this Monday or Tuesday.

It is hard to be upset because my vision has improved a lot. As previously mentioned, I hadn’t realized how much I was compensating until after the surgery. Hopefully, my ‘old eyes’ will kick in and readjust themselves. I really do not want to have surgery again.

Time will tell. And as always, hope springs eternal….

UnFriend

I discovered recently someone I know personally has unfriended and even blocked me on FB. We weren’t close friends but I can’t ever remember having a falling out of any sort. Granted, I didn’t even notice said person had unfriended me for quite some time.  The only recollection I have is that he and I often had slightly different political views. We disagreed a few times but it was never mean or rude. He would get rather upset with anyone who didn’t agree with him. I’m left to assume he got mad because I disagreed on something and blocked me. Oh well. He was clearly missed. /sarcasm

This last week I noticed I’ve also been unfriended a few times by folks who didn’t agree with my views on current events. It seems to be a growing theme on social media. Basically, people don’t want debate, they only want supporting comments or views that reinforce their own. Then they get super upset or bent out of shape if someone disagrees with them. If you don’t want comments from people who might disagree, either don’t allow comments or don’t post it.

For myself, if you can’t handle debate then I’m sure we wouldn’t be friends in real life anyway. Successful discourse  requires two way communication not just pontification of your own thoughts. I usually try to keep my discussions to the topic at hand without any personal attacks. I also try to refrain from name-calling and inflammatory comments. I say ‘try’ because even I lose my shit sometimes.

Anyway, I’m off topic a bit. If you friend someone  you don’t really know on social media, you shouldn’t be overly surprised if they don’t always fall in line with your view of things. Barring said personal attacks mentioned above, you should try to converse and debate vs just writing them off and unfriending them. You, or they, might learn something. You also have the added benefit of developing a deeper understanding of your own belief. Teaching or explaining concepts to others forces you to better understand it for yourself.

Civic

Everyone is jockeying for the moral high ground after the Ferguson verdict. Social media is a shit-show of everyone pointing fingers at each other. I won’t even go into all the judge/juries that have appointed them selves verdict makers on Brown/Wilson’s implied guilt.

I feel like I have a unique perspective on the subject.1   There is my work side that deals with law-enforcement issues every day of my career. I can see valid points from the officer’s story. There were several things Brown could have done to avoid the confrontation. Then there is my gay side that grew up at the hands of very rough and not so friendly police on more than one occasion. I can see valid points from Brown’s family. The police could have handled the situation better and not necessarily let it escalate out of control. 

The reality is neither side is blameless. No one has the moral high ground here. And no one should walk away feeling like they lost/won. We all lost. People often can’t resolve the cognitive dissonance created by the ambiguity of fault or blame. And because of this, we can’t admit that neither side is blameless. Brown refused to comply, Wilson overreacted.2

No matter who’s side you are on it still means nothing unless we act. If we truly want to fix these problems, we must move beyond the never-ending and condescending tantrums via social media. And while petitions and marches in the streets are excellent displays of solidarity, they are not enough. These things depend on someone else to fix our problems.

We as a citizenry must be involved. We cannot abandon, thru indifference, our oversight of those we place in power and be surprised when it suddenly becomes corrupt. Civic duty is not just serving jury duty or voting, begrudgingly. It is our guaranteed right thru the freedoms granted us. But we must exercise those rights. It should not be something we only do when it is convenient. It should be a part of our daily lives.3  If more of us get involved, we won’t need to constantly focus on blame. We’ll be in forums to constantly give oversight, feedback, and accountability to both sides.

Basically, I’m saying be involved or shut up and accept your servitude. It is that simple. Like any living thing, democracy must be fed or it dies from neglect. Go to your local police community meetings. If they aren’t offered,  rally your neighbors and friends and demand they have them. Go to your governing body’s public meetings. Call, write, and/or email your local and state leaders. And don’t do it once and call it good. Involvement is ongoing. Embrace your civic duties. Then and only then can we see real change.




  1. No surprise there right? lol []
  2. Please spare me unnecessary rants on the variances of this over simplification []
  3. Do me a favor and read this paragraph again []

Corrected

Well,  I survived my surgery. Lol  As you

image

My eye

can see,  I’m on the mend.  The doc says the procedure went very well and he was able to accomplish everything.

Apparently, the problem has been brewing for some time.  The lower orbital bone was very thin due to constant pressure over a long period of time.  The final conclusion is my condition is genetic and the previous latent sinus infection may have just helped bring it forward sooner. He said had the bone completely disappeared,  the fix would have been much more involved. I guess in an odd way,  the infection turned out to be a good thing. 

The procedure itself was pretty simple.  The goal was to insert a polyurethane ‘sled’ into the orbital sheath that surrounds my eye. It sits above the orbital bone but below the eye.  He didn’t have to cut my face at all; he went thru the eye lid.  Basically,  he made an incision in the orbital sheath, shoved the sled in,  and then placed it properly.  Apparently,  he had to make some last minute modifications as the eye sinkage was down and backwards or inward.  The inwards part is what is believed to have caused the double vision.  Anyway, he was very pleased with the procedure and said it went as well as it could have been expected. 

My vision was immediately better,  even from my initial recovery from anesthesia.  The range I could turn my head without incurring double vision was greater and my eyes take less time to focus. At the follow up visit the next day he said I should continue to expect small gradual improvements as the swelling goes down and it heals.  I can no longer see a difference in my eyeballs,  they look perfectly even again. 1   My eye still looks a bit sunken but that would be from all the swelling.  Lol  He seemed a bit proud of himself when measuring them.  I guess it isn’t a perfect science and ‘results may vary’. I still have some double visions but even that is reduced and the angle to incur it is back to levels that would be very livable even if I saw no more improvement. 

He thinks my vision,  in regards to the diploma,  will return to normal once all the swelling goes down.  In the event it doesn’t,  any minor corrections can be accomplished with contacts/glasses.  They would not go back in to ‘adjust’  the sled unless there was ‘slippage’.  Again,  he seemed to indicate the sled was a perfect fit and I shouldn’t expect any problems.  Since,  I already need contacts for my slight near-sightedness in the same eye,  it would just be a matter of adjusting my prescription with a slight prism enhancement.

So far,  my daily vision is better.  I’ve noticed several improvements including  no more feelings that my eyes were routinely fighting with each other for focus.  It sounds odd but I’d begun to notice my right eye was weaker. Anytime,  my head tilt didn’t compensate for proper view,  the right eye would sort of just give up for a bit then finally refocus.  That affect is all but gone now. The double vision at sharp angles and looking up is still present but greatly reduced.  I’m hopeful each day will bring additional improvements.  Either way,  I’m eagerly awaiting being all healed up.

I don’t think I realized how much it bothered me until after I had the surgery.  We pretty much take our vision for granted in our daily comings/goings.  Before the surgery,  it had gone from being a random annoyance to a daily struggle.  It would often take minutes vs seconds for my eyes to gain cohesive focus in the mornings. Anything outside the front facing slightly downward view would become two images.  It was odd noticing how much detail was lost when trying to ascertain between two distinct images. My apprehension level went up every day as my vision decreased. People had started commenting on the angle of my head as I had developed an unconscious habit of tiling my head up to compensate. Ironically,  work life was impacted the least.  I think because I already tend to view my monitors slightly below eye level.  Anyway,  the daily coping would have only lasted so much longer. Now that the surgery is over my eye sight is amazingly better.  Seeing the abrupt difference really brought home how bad it had gotten.  I’m incredibly grateful it went ok. 

Now, I just need to wait it out.  Daily eye drops and lots of ice for the swelling. Time will tell if my vision is 95% or 90% restored.




  1. On close inspection,  you could actually see that my right eye was lower and slightly sunken in compared to the left one. []

Eyeball

I’m scheduled to go in for my second (and hopefully) final procedure tomorrow. As mentioned, the first procedure was to clean out the latent infection in my sinus.

I’ve officially been diagnosed with asymptomatic chronic maxillary sinusitis, otherwise known as silent sinus syndrome. It is somewhat uncommon but basically my right sinus is reduced in size. The infection could have been part of that, it could have been genetic, or both. Regardless, the reduced sinus is putting negative pressure on my orbital socket. Basically, it is pulling my eye down.

The procedure tomorrow requires the doc to insert a ‘sled’ into my eye to restore the orbit to its normal position. In most cases, patients with diplopia symptoms, like myself, go back to normal or almost normal vision. I certainly hope I fall into the ‘normal’ category.

It is considered out-patient procedure and I should only need a day or two recovery. Last time I had more recovery from the anesthesia than I did the procedure itself. lol

This will be the 4th official implant. Both collar bones and one leg. If I turn ashen grey and start spouting "we are borg", you know I’ve turned into an evil cyborg bent on world domination. Until then, fingers crossed everything goes well tomorrow!

Year

I guess I haven’t been gushing enough about the STBH1 lately. There have been ‘inquries’. lol Well, prepare for the gushing….

Things are awesome! I consider myself incredibly fortunate to have found such a great life partner. And he is just that, my partner in life. I don’t for a second doubt I’ll spend the rest of my life with him. I even love the things that annoy me about him. How’s that for gushing? haha

We are ever so slowly settling into our life together. I still can’t wait to see him every day. Even when that being together often means being piled up on the couch watching tv or playing video games. It’s funny because there are times when I feel like I’m neglecting him and not knowing what I’m thinking he’ll check to make sure he isn’t neglecting me. Then another time, it will happen in reverse from him to me. If that isn’t love, I don’t know what is?

If you follow him on FB, you’ll know he finally got the new job he’s been after. I’m happy for him as he has been wanting to make a change for awhile now. It is no secret, he does NOT handle change well. That said, he is adjusting to the new gig, and given more time I think he will appreciate it. From my perspective, it is leaps ahead of his old job, in every way possible. /tangent

It is an odd feeling (in a good way) to realize that the person next to you just doesn’t care how imperfect you are. They love you imperfections and all.

*le sigh* ​




  1. soon to be hubby []

Learn-ed

It should come as no surprise that I have a slightly twisted sense of humor. Knowing that, it should also not surprise you that I enjoyed the act of explaining the difference between being stupid or ignorant to someone recently.

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I comment a lot on news blogs/sites these days. This often earns me a ton of hateful comments/emails. Since my blog usually doesn’t allow new commentors w/o the author having been approved at least once, they end up in my inbox. heehee I don’t share them on my blog because that is not my purpose. One day I might do a post dedicated to a small list of the champions. I mostly ignore them but every now and then the desire to “correct someone on the internet who is wrong” is too strong to resist. lol

I usually try not to be insulting, rude, or a jerk but we all have our limits. Beyond that, I’m also fair-minded and a big believer if you complain, offer a solution to fix the problem. I often war with myself over whether I should ‘feed the trolls‘ by commenting or just ignore it. The level of ignorance and anti-inllectualism prevelant in society is alarming. If we don’t find some way to counter-act that nonsense, we are headed for a social calamity soon. 

Until then, I humbly strive to pick and choose my battles with the forces of ignorance.

Majority

I’m a big believer in facts. Numbers matter but context matters just as much. It seems to be a common tactic these days for people to throw out a number and then try to twist it to fit an ideal. While sometimes the confusion could be forgiven, when it is obvious the fact is presented after the ideal as validation, one should be suspect. lol

Point and case, I got into a debate with a conservative person the other day over marriage rights. It was online and the topic diverged into a discussion about Fox News and said person’​s argument, ‘if Fox news is so bad, why does it routinely rank very high in viewers?‘ Said person was quite smug and very matter-of-fact about how the ‘majority’ of Americans got there news from Fox.

No, no, and just no. The failure in logical reasoning here is the assumption it is a one or the other choice. It isn’t. The rest of us aren’t limited to just one other option. We have a plethora of outlets to get our daily consumption for what passes for news these days. The idea that Fox is somehow the voice of Americans due to a large viewing base is categorically false. What it does show is that the extremists have limited choices and Fox is pretty much it. Not surprising, said person then resorted to typical diversionary tactics to avoid further debate.​

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On a side note, Fox news went to court in 2003 on whether it was required to report factual news. Fox won as the judge ruled there was no legal requirement for them to do so!

I’ll just let that sink in for a bit.

Because there is no actual law that requires news agencies to report factual news, they don’t have to? Where is the moral and ethical obligation? Concurrently, Fox has since gone from a reputable news agency to a propaganda arm for extremist views. Welcome to “murrica”.

Bait

No, I’m not dredging up stories of child hood fishing trips or late night trolling for booty. I am referring to the out of control click-bait you see polluting most social media sites these days.

Headlines are written to provoke a click. It doesn’t matter if the headline isn’t true or so twisted to barely represent the story, as long as you ‘submit’.1 Most of the time said person sharing the click-bait hasn’t even read the link. It it is annoying to the point that I’ve started unfollowing people who do it a lot.

It is one thing if it is specifically related to you or your life. Beyond that, I don’t care what animal you are. I don’t care what cartoon character you are. I don’t care what your wanna be porn name is. I don’t care what character in any movie ever made is. I don’t care if you are a unicorn who burps glitter and shits rainbows. And here is a news flash, no one else does either!

And you people who share fake stories or scams “just to be safe” need to be punched in the dick!  Knock. It. Off!  No Bill Gates and Yahoo are not joining forces. No, the IRS is not sending the sheriffs to your house to arrest you unless you send them money. No, the quadrillionaire in [insert county here] did not die and leave all his money in limbo so his [insert relative or estated holder] can ask your help in getting the money. No, VI@gR@ will not help you ‘get the girl.’ No, “if you are a real ______, you will share this like I did.”  And for fuck’s sake, NO YOU WILL NOT RECEIVE A LOT OF MONEY BY MAGIC IF YOU POST THIS TO 10 OTHER PEOPLE’S PROFILES.

Now get off my lawn!




  1. Reference to a very funny Simpsons episode btw []