Safe

I got into a 4181 with a friend of a friend the other day on FB. It got rather disagreeable and he ended up blocking me. Not the point of my rant though.

He is a motorcycle rider like myself. He posted a pic of him and another friend of his riding their bikes on a sunny day wearing absolutely no protective gear. No helmets, not padding, nadda. I posted a half-joking comment asking where his gear was. My comment was, “Hmmm, this pic must be staged cause I don’t see your gear.” I added an lol and smiley face to emphasize I was teasing. He then proceeds to blow up my messages with all the reasons I’m an a**hole for even hinting he should be wearing gear.

Granted none of his excuses were remotely valid but he was right in that it is his choice. But I don’t think my polite nudge was rude or offensive. If he is stupid enough to ride w/o any gear, so be it. The part the struck me is how vociferous he was in his attack on me for suggesting he was being irresponsible. As if I somehow impugned his integrity. Whatevs. I was politely trying to encourage you to be more responsible. Shame on me right?

As for my interjection, I look at this way. If you ‘friend’ me on any social medium, you are inviting my feedback and comments. While I am respectful, I will often give you an honest opinion, even if it isn’t the one you want to hear.

  1. verbal altercation []

Punch

I had a few bizarre episodes lately where people thought it was ok to inappropriately touch me or expose themselves in public. *Coworkers – uh um….TMI for you, read at your peril.*

One was back over before Pride. I’d gone to a friend/coworkers pool party. Being in Martinez and there was most definitely drinking involved, I opted to take BART vs riding my motorcycle. And naturally plenty of ‘drunks’ occured. On the way home I apparently forgot about the “last car” rule on BART.1  Being in my somewhat inebrieated state, I’m relaxing in my exuberence when I notice the guy in the seat directly across from me touching himself. And not just a little, he was going at it.

At this point, two things are working in his favor. One, I’m obviously drunk and two, I’m obviously drunk. And I know what you’re thinking, but no, nothing untoward happened on my part. lol I did however watch in a rather unfocused fascination as he finished his manual labors, which did not take long. I promptly giggled and then rolled back over and rejoined my previous half-sleep delirum. Later I almost thought I dreamed it till I ran into him and he made some overt attempts to engage me. This episode didn’t end poorly as it was more of just an experience. Sadly, the next two did.

About a month ago. I was walking thru the hood mid day doing errands. This youngish kid comes stumbling out of Sadlands with an older girl in tow. He was sort of on my awareness but didn’t give it much thought. That is until he promptly reaches up and grabs my nipple. Then he had my complete attention as I whirled around and confronted him. The ONLY reason he didn’t get punched was because I immediately noticed his age and drunkiness. Had he been neither I think I would have actually decked him right in the nose. I was furious. That restraint; however, did not stop me from cussing his ass out and telling his rather snotty friend to shut her pie hole before I did. The part that infuriated me the most was when I realized what he was doing, I shrugged him off and he tried again! Keep in mind, this is mid day and I’m not leaving the bar with him. I’m not standing around outside cruising. I’m some random guy walking down the street with my dog doing my thing. I’ll be the first to admit I can be incredibly incorrigible and not the least bit shy. But I also know that unwanted touching is considered an assualt in all 50 states. Had I given this guy any eye contact or the remotest idea I was into him this story would have gone much differently. Having only registered him on my radar in passing and then have him brazenly try to grab me twice was not acceptable. Was I worried he’d harm me? No, of course not. I was twice his size. It was the blatant disrespect and lack of contriteness that set me off. So anyway, I think he will think twice next time before attempting to fondle a random stranger. On a funny side note, I have never seen Cooper be aggressive. And while not aggressive this day he clearly knew something was up. All the jovial antics to get attention went out of him. He made no moves or growls but his body went into a locked rigid position and he was ‘eagerly’ focused on the guy. For a dog this is a clear sign of agitation. It is very unwise to try and touch a unknown dog when it is giving off such body language. Anyway, I’m curious if he would have done anything had the situation escalated. Since he did not growl or move he didn’t get scolded but it did make me aware my lovable pup can be defensive. Something to this point, I thought impossible. Even when other dogs are aggressive, Cooper usually just shrugs it off.

The last episode was a couple weeks ago. Apparently, a local guy who’d seen my ‘social’ profiles decided it was ok to walk up and start touching me. Literally, he walks up to the side and just behind me and starts playing with my butt. And not in a ‘hey how are you‘ sort of touch either. lol And again, in the right situation and the right cues, I’d could just as easily do the same thing. But this was none of that. I’ve never seen this guy in my life. We’ve never interacted directly. Once again I confronted said person with a few choice words peppereed with a few colorful words. And his response was the real surprise. He said he thought it was ok because he’d seen me on a couple of ‘sites.’ And of course my response was, “and how the hell does that in anyway translate into you sexually assualting me in public?’ Now that I had his undivided attention he begun to realize his behavior was over the line. Short of my profile having some sort of declaration that said behavior was expected or encouraged, it is not ok and I said as much. Just because you saw me online doesn’t equate to you assaulting me in public. He was miffed and more than a little embarrassed because I was not quite in my admonishments but I think he got the picture. He also ruined the chance to make a friend because of his behavior, which from the gist of his statements indicated that was his intent.

It wasn’t that I personally felt violated or in danger from either of these guys2, it was the absolute lack of respect and assuption of familiarity that upset me. I’m not a stand-offish person either. I like physical contact. But that contact needs to be appropriate and/or warranted. Any behavior that encourages it like flirting, eye contact, conversation; anything that would have shown a two way interaction and acceptance of physical contact is perfectly fine. But to assume you can touch or grab someone in a non-sexual situation is liable to get you one punched or two arrested.

The moral of the story boys and girls? Look, don’t touch until the offer to touch has been expressed. Otherwise, the outcome might not be pleasant.

  1. Shortly afer moving to SF, I discovered the last car on BART is often open to ‘shinanigans.’ []
  2. even though others might have []

A-Crowd

Someone asked me in earnest the other day what it was like to be part of the “A-Crowd.” I was sort of tickled but had to let them down that one, no such thing exists and two, people who think they are in the A-crowd have bigger issues than I care to list. And it isn’t the first time I’ve encountered such a question. I had planned to do a long-winded rant months ago but ended up not getting to it. One has to only look at the horribly done reality show literally called A-Crowd to see an example of overgeneralized over-exaggerated ideology gone wrong. I would never in my life to aspire to such.1

I am soooo far removed from any sort of A-crowd, even if it did exist. lol My life isn’t that glamorous. I work, sleep, love on my dog, hit the gym, get into trouble as often as I can, and then repeat. That is my exciting life in an nut-shell. I prefer to spend most of my free time with myself and/or Cooper. I engage with my friends of course, but I am not out every weekend or even every other weekend. I don’t do much (human) charity work these days so I don’t even have that exposure. lol I do think there are incorrigible parts of my personality that give rise to certain situations but that hardly makes me anything ‘upper.’

I’m surprised anyone would think I’m anything A-crowd but considering my inability to recognize I can also be intimidating, I guess shouldn’t be.2  The perception of A-crowd boils down to the have and have nots. You have what I want or like therefore you must be “A-crowd” or “in” and I’m not. Not a healthy association and one I, thankfully, rooted out of my id years ago. Seriously, don’t think like that, it isn’t healthy. At the end of the day, the opinion that matters most is your own. Focus more on being the person you really want to be and loving yourself and less on the perception that someone might be on a different level than you. And therein may lie the rub for some. They envy or want things that others have but aren’t willing to invest the time or energy into it. In the end, we are all humans. We all bleed. We all die. All of that other nonsense means nothing.

Even my blog doesn’t come close to being prime material. That comment whore brettcajun probably gets more traffic than I do. While I do have a dedicated, and much appreciated, following of readers please don’t ever think for one moment I consider myself better than anyone else. I am not perfect, I struggle and sometimes I fall. That just makes me human, just like you.

And as someone who discovered it the hard long drawn out way, the confidence within that comes from being contented with yourself, can be very alluring to others.

  1. yes bitches I realize it was sensationalized for TV but the point still stands. []
  2. I’m still struggling with the latter. []

Crapper

This week hit the crapper at full force. As previously mentioned, 2 1/2 weeks worth of work got summarily wiped out on Monday. Tuesday I got the bad news it could not be recovered. Cooper bashed his eye into an Agave plant and almost blinded himself. A douche bag on FB sent me a message whining about my motivational gym check-ins. Surprisingly, after my very public reply he no longer follows me. Tsk, tsk. And the last two days have been completely unproductive from either hardware or software problems. I was tired of “If this or If that” logic statements anyway.

But all is not lost. On the flip side, one of my moons must be in the right “house” this month because I’ve been getting a lot of attention. Happily, that part of my life has been busy and a welcome distraction. Between the gym and my other exertions is it any wonder I dropped another belt notch?1  It has gone along way toward preventing me from telling our developer exactly how far up his anatomy I wanted to shove my foot.

I’m glad it is Friday and am actually considering libations of the alcoholic persuasion tonight, after the gym of course. I didn’t go down two belt-notches to blow it on booze belly.

I had planned to go see Superman with the SF Movie Bears this next Wednesday. Sadly, schedule conflicts have ruined that as well. I’ll have to try and sell off my ticket. I’ll probably end up going this weekend instead. I am not a big fan of remakes of remakes of remakes but the previews looked really good. We shall see.

Cooper appears to be fine. His eye is still bothering him but it’s already healing and there doesn’t seem to be any damage to the eyeball. As mentioned, said plant will receive a “makeover” this weekend.

Ok, that’s all my bitchin for now. Happy weekend hookahs.

  1. Ok, I’m showing off a little. []

Project

I was all set to write about how fabulous the work was going on my project until yesterday. I lost 2 1/2 weeks of data that was very tedious, involved, and complex to get into the system. To say I was upset would be putting it mildly. Once I figured out what went wrong and why I was so incredibly furious I had to leave work. Seriously, it was that or start cussing people out. And since I value my job, I took off early.

I’m using an add-on software that communicates with the primary software on the server. Well it is supposed to. Apparently, there was a domain resolution conflict between the server access and my terminal access. One side was set direct w/no need to access DNS resolution. One side was set to depend on DNS resolution. Of course, at the time I am unaware of any of this. Since I don’t control installations, it’s not really something I’d be expected to know.

After we push to production, I notice data is missing. I reload the add-on software and the work I spent so much time entering is gone. Two hours later it’s obvious the data is unrecoverable. I revert to my backup to recover the lost data. And here is where stupidity rears it’s ugly head. I load my backup and it’s basically empty. After some intensive research and more than a little frustration, I discover the flaw. Apparently, the software decided to ignore my direct saves to my backup folder and save internally to a cached file. And here is where it really gets juicy. The moment I opened my backup copy it overwrites the internal cache wiping my work. No notice, no pop up, nothing. It just overwrites the cache. To say this is a stupid bug in the software would be an understatement. I pulled up the journal entry and sure enough it just re-saved to the same file twice every day. The first save was the default save and when I used ‘save as’ and pathed out my backup folder, it just overwrote the internal cache file. Utterly stupid.

So yeah, 2 1/2 weeks of work down the tubes. And while I’m sure the bug will get fixed, that does nothing for me now. There is no ‘undo’ function and since the data never made it to the server database, it can’t be pulled back. At least this time around, I know the material better and will have to do less trial and error. I mean building calls to restricted confidential databases requires a lot of specialty message keys. I kept great notes as well so the rebuild won’t take as long but will be just as tedious. I’ve also created a sync call for the cache copies of said files to avoid this painful bug in the future.

On a good note, I was so angry I had a killer workout at the gym. lol I baked my chest and triceps to the point of almost not being able to put my shirt on afterwards.

 

Wait

I’m getting a little irritated with the invasiveness of technology at the gym these days. More and more guys are getting buried in their phones not paying attention. I’ve reached a point now where I immediately walk up and ask a person how many sets they have left. It puts them on notice someone else is waiting on the bench. You can either choose to share or you can focus on your workout and then get off of it. I don’t mind waiting but I’m sick of seeing guys just hang out endless on a machine.

And for the Fitness SF haters, it is just as true at the 24-hour gyms. Seriously, WTF? I use my phone at the gym. I text, I surf, etc. But I’m also running a workout timer between every set. The moment my timer dings, I stop whatever I’m doing and do my effin’ set! And when I’m done, I get my ass off the bench so someone else can use it. In other words, I respect the fact I am not the only person in the gym trying to get a good workout in. And I even respect not everyone might be as dedicated or at my level of working out. I am as friendly and sharing as I can be to others. But I’m so over others not returning the favor. I’ve never been a big fan of negative peer pressure but I’m beginning to rethink that now. And the next fucker who cops an attitude after I politely ask you how many sets he has left is gonna discover just how cray-cray I can get. I have no shame and will clown the fuck out of you in front of the entire gym. We all pay dues. You don’t get to park you’re ass on a bench for 15-20 mins w/o so much as lifting a weight and then throw shade when someone asks to work in.

Maybe now that I have to go during peak times, I’m just noticing it more. Has it been this bad for awhile?

Pics

Someone on FB asked me the other day why I don’t post many pics anymore. Well, I said some time ago I was pulling further away from FB. And while I haven’t made the break completely, I just don’t feel the need to give them my data to harvest. And with the recent Instagram purchase scandal, that decision was reaffirmed. I do still post random pics but mostly of Cooper and/or pics shared by others of me already on FB. Ninety percent of my activities there are commenting on friends stuff, my blog updates, news stories I comment on, and Foursquare updates. As FB pushes more and more to share all our data, I am sharing less and less. I’ve already begun going thru and unliking pretty much every page or commercial site I ever “liked.” The bombardment of ads increases more and more every month it seems.

So if you really wanna see more pics of me you’re gonna have to jump over to Google+ from time to time. I moved all my pic storage to picasa before Goolge+ came out but now that it is all nicely integrated, I like it even more. I get tons and tons of free storage and the extra storage is a fraction of the cost that sites like flickr charge. There is no way I can post all the pics I take to my blog w/o overloading my subscribers email boxes. lol I am working on a photo album link to pop up on the blog sidebar though. (If you want to add me on Google+, click the sidebar link to my profile there.)1

On a slight tangent, I’ve noticed several friends and blog buddies pulling away from FB as well. Some have deactivated their accounts all together while most have just logged out for extended periods of time. I discovered this week even my roomie has ditched FB for awhile. I guess I’m not the only one tired of the data harvest that is FB these days. That is pretty much all it is now. They’re saving grace is user volume. But like myspace, they might wake up one day and find themselves irrelevant. More and more of my friend list is making the jump to Google+.  Maybe one day I’ll be able to ditch FB completely.

  1. Keep in mind, I do not add profiles w/porn or nudity. I have no problem with either but it is not the purpose of my social profile. []

0-2

So, it appears I’m 0-2 on my recent dates. lol The 2nd guy started out very sweet but then got all jealous after 2 (yes 2) dates. He then promptly stopped responding to me as a way of ending it. Such behavior reeks of immaturity, which tells me it was for the best. I am not looking for drama and if you wanna throw a tantrum, knock yourself out. Had I not repeatedly made it clear this was a FWB sort of deal,1 I could have at least understood to a degree. And we discussed it more than once. Whatev. Maybe this is the universe’s way of protecting me from drama. lolol

After the bizarre episode with the porn guy, I wasn’t sure it was the best idea but I told myself I wouldn’t avoid dating this time around. After Drew and I separated, I didn’t exactly hide from the world but I shut myself off from feelings or dating. I became almost mechanical when it came to hook-ups and play time. I guess in some ways it was a defense-mechanism. Anyhoo, I promised myself this time around I wouldn’t do that. So yeah, I’m still making the effort. I’d rather try and fail vs not try at all.

  1. To which he stated he was looking for the same []

Down

After almost 24 hours, my blog & email are back up and running. My ISP, 1and1.com, in it’s complete incompetence took my domain down over a “system error.” Three phone calls later, it’s finally back up after who knows how many emails sent to me bounced.

Mistakes happen, I realize that. Unfortunately, this is not the first time it’s happened. After losing my wallet recently, I got an email from them stating I had a balance and needed to update my cc info. No biggie, I log in and update with the new info. I did this almost 2 weeks ago. Yet somehow, their system did not register the update on the payment side so they locked my domain. Uh, don’t ya think it might be relevant to have the system look for new info? Especially when you send me a nice confirmation email of the change to my account two weeks ago!

Even worse, my first call the rep was too busy to even bother with trying to help me. While I was annoyed, I was courteous and by no means disrespectful. He then has the audacity to tell me, while I am on the phone with him, I can file a complaint by email. NO MA’AM! I am on the fraking phone with you, why in the hell would I need to send an email. Oh and btw, what EFFING EMAIL! You turned off all my email! Needless to say, after a few rather unpleasant obsenities regarding his indifference, he decided it was best to get me his supervisor. While polite, she was no more helpful than he was.

Realizing their mistake caused the problem, do you think they acted in a rush to get my site/email back up? Nope. First, I was told within the hour, then within 2 hours. On my 3rd call at the 2 1/2 hour marker, the girl was very apologetic and got something done. Keep in mind, this is 4 hours after my original call when I was told no more than 2 hours, at most.

I’ve had it with 1and1.com now. Their customer service and incompetence is approaching AT&T levels. If any of you have a good webhost that offers robust packages with plenty of emails, please let me know. I don’t even mind if it ends up being more expensive that what I have now. I would strongly recommend against using 1and1 now. What a waste of time.