Category: rant

Just Wrong

I’m pretty free spirited and lord knows I have an open mind when it comes to sex.  Tonight, I stumbled over a profile on Manhunt I felt crossed the line, even for me.  There are a lot of strange fetishes in the gay community and even more so online.  But there are certain things I can’t and won’t tolerate.

The guy basically started out ranting with claims about being a real man, masculine, blah blah blah.  Nothing new there, pretty much the same boring fodder as usual.  Then he launches into a speech about mind trips, power, and domination.  *yawn* 

Now comes the part that pissed me off.  He is only looking for negative guys he can dominate and attempt to infect.  He goes on to imply it is the only true form of power and control.  Call it a sick neurosis, a inferiority complex, whatever, it’s fucking wrong.

There are a lot of things I will tolerate but I draw the line at deliberately trying to infect people with HIV.  HIV may not be the death sentence in Western culture it used to be but people are still fucking dying.  More disturbing, the rate of infections in younger gays is on the rise again.  To see some sick fuck with a twisted need to satisfy his limp-dick inferiority complex trying to convince people HIV is glamorous is beyond reprehensible. 

I reported his ass to the admins. [1]It takes about 24 hours usually for complaints to be reviewed.  I also added a note if they allow such a profile to exist, they will lose me as a customer.  I didn’t make it as threat but to make a point.  In the event his profile doesn’t get nixed (I think it will), I’ll go one step further and break one of my cardinal rules about privacy.  I’ll post his profile info here and encourage every single reader to email Manhunt to complain. 

*Update* – The profile was removed when I woke up today.

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↑1 It takes about 24 hours usually for complaints to be reviewed.

Pride 08 Cometh



Pride 08 Cometh

Originally uploaded by ibod8x5


It is that time again. The time of year when San Francisco opens its bosom to the world at large and says “welcome”. The supposed mecca prepares for the onslaught of daddies, queens, dykes, fags, queers, and freaks. And that’s just the locals. LOL

I snapped this shot on the side of the bus stop in the ‘hood. This particular poster is not just in Castro, it’s all over the City. [1]Pride is the #2 money making event of the year for SF.

The City is already abuzz with excitement and anticipation of Gay Pride 08. I may not be fresh out of the closet or even questioning my sexuality but I still celebrate. Many see Pride as a spectacle because of the more flagrant folks. Not me. Sure, some do it for shock value, some do it for attention, and some. . . some actually do it because they are living openly and honestly for the first time ever. No matter where I’ve lived over the years, I’ve always run into someone during Pride celebrating their very first. The mixture of feelings can be overwhelming. Relief is often felt by many. Relief they are not alone. For others, it can be surprise, shock, confusion, and conflict. This little tidbit is for the latter group. You don’t have to fit. You don’t have to mold yourself into a stereotype or squeeze yourself into a sub-culture. You don’t have to have anything in common with all the revelers. But…you need to remember you do have one thing in common, oppression. It is still a crime in some states to be gay. It is also illegal in many more states for gays [2]when I say gay, I include everyone up/down the Kinsey scale. Where ever you fit, you too. to marry. Something as fundamental to society as marriage is still denied us in most places. Don’t even get me started on World events.

So, I’ll continue to celebrate with the freaks and fairies. I’ll continue until my rights are indistinguishable from those of my straight counterparts. When I can walk down the street in middle America hand in hand w/the man of choice w/o fear of reprisal, then and only then, will I give up the celebration. We all know that ain’t happening anytime soon so until then….the beat goes on bitches!

References

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↑1 Pride is the #2 money making event of the year for SF.
↑2 when I say gay, I include everyone up/down the Kinsey scale. Where ever you fit, you too.

Confounded & More

Ok, I guess my last post wasn’t very clear.  The general assumption seems to be that I’m referring to potential partners.  I wasn’t.  Or more to the point, potential partners fall under the intended gist but was by no means the focus.  I used TFA as an example only because many here have followed my ups/downs with him. [1]I was happy to be there for TFA when he needed me.  We are still close and talk almost daily.

I was referring to reciprocity in people that come into my life and stay in my life in much more general way.  That applies to friends, family, and lovers equally.  Never fear, I have no plans to stop being who I am.  I just need to re-examine my priorities a bit. Being kind, compassionate, or sympathetic is a tiny fraction of a continuing long term emotional investment in others.  What I am discovering is I need to differentiate and prioritize between random kindness and investing myself in someone who gives nothing in return.  I don’t mean tit for tat, I mean someone who cares and invests themselves in me as well.  That applies to everyone not just potential partners.   

One commenter wrote that "some people are givers and others are takers."  Sorry, but that is a cop out in my opinion.  Continuously being on one side of the spectrum is not healthy.  And it is something I’ve realized for myself that is holding me back.  Ironically, I’m on the giving side.  How’s that for a kick in the pants? lol 

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↑1 I was happy to be there for TFA when he needed me.  We are still close and talk almost daily.

Bitter? Party of 1?

Catching up on the blogroll again, I see Brettcajun has fallen victim to a drive by nasty gram. Lord knows, I’ve had my share so I feel for him. Sometimes, I think people do it just to get a rise out of him however, still doesn’t make it ok. Said folks, always anonymous, [1]or so they think are cowards in the simplest form. If you feel so strongly about something, have the balls to back it up with your name and/or email address. Leaving chicken shit comments w/o your name just makes you a pussy and invalidates anything you have to say.

I am reminded of a little sparring match Brett and I had via Twitter about 2 weeks ago. We were discussing a philosophical difference in our approach to life. I got 3 different emails afterward asking if I was mad at Brett, kicking him off my blog, blah blah blah. Yes, it is true Brett and I sometimes disagree. Just as I have disagreed with other bloggers over the last few years. I am a grown man and if I can say it, I am willing to back it up. I can also strongly disagree with someone w/o resorting to name calling and other childish behaviors. If you read me with any regularity, you discover I speak my mind. That doesn’t change for people I know. And if your friendship hinges on my always agreeing with you, well I don’t wanna be your friend anyway.

My point is simple. Afford people the manners and common courtesy you would expect in return regardless of the communication medium.

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↑1 or so they think

Politi-huh?

I rarely discuss politics on my blog.  Mainly, as it can incite people in all sorts of unexpected ways.  Some people take their politics very seriously.  Others, could care less.  Either way, never a good idea to discuss in an open forum.  For the record, I tend to be more liberal socially.  I find it shameful that we can sleep at night denying medical care to someone simply because they are poor.  However, when it comes to government oversight and economics, I tend to be a tad more conservative.  I’m not a registered Republican.  I’m not a registered Democrat.  I am, however, a registered voter.  I get my point across by voting.  I read, I investigate and then I vote for the person I think best for the position, regardless of their political affiliation.  Not rocket science in an age where information is a click away.  Sadly, I find myself more and more these days voting for the lesser of two evils. 

Anyway, this is sort of a side rant. 

I’m sitting at Firewood in the ghayto today and I overhear a group of young people [1]early 20’s tops….god, I feel old. lol arguing over the differences between Obama and Hilary.  I’m initially excited to hear such young folk talking politics.  Then I tune into what they are arguing about.  Clothing of all things.  They were arguing over who dresses better. [2]Leave it to my people to get to the heart of the issues. lol 

I’m not sure I should laugh or cry at the moment.  If they fate of the country hinges around how well the Prez-elect dresses, oh my.  Of course, I shouldn’t really be surprised.  We routinely vote actors in political offices based solely on the merits of their acting careers.  I guess I should be content they even care.  I don’t really remember my generation being overly political growing up.  Of course, I grew up in the back woods of East Texas.  My perspective might be skewered just a bit.  Back to my eavesdropping, one young pretty lesbian girl keeps interjecting the issues back into the conversation.  God love her! lol  She seems pretty well informed.  I’m hoping maybe I am just hearing the abstract of a longer more involved conversation.  If not, well at least we will have a pretty President. 

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↑1 early 20’s tops….god, I feel old. lol
↑2 Leave it to my people to get to the heart of the issues. lol

Heifer

I’ve all but given up on keeping up with my blogroll.  I just have too many damn blogs to keep up with.  It was easier when no one read my madness. hehehe.   Anyway, in making an attempt today, I’ve noticed several of my blog buddies ranting about weight loss. 

We have become a nation obsessed with instant gratification.  We care more about fast food than healthy food.  Sad but true.  We are constantly bombarded by fast food ads.  No wonder so many folks are overweight.  It is just easier to be an overweight slob.  And don’t even get me started on a sub-section of the bear culture the delights in slothfulness.  Rather than deal with the problem, let’s make it glamorous.  Oh yeah, there’s an answer.  I digress…  Staying in shape is no easy task.  It takes a conscious will to maintain a good diet.  You might say, "well why should I bother then?"  My answer, it may not be your fault but it is your problem.  Another complaint I often here, "I just don’t have time in my day to workout."  That is the biggest cop-out I think I’ve ever heard.  We make time for things we care about.  Stop finding reasons why you can’t and find some why you can.  Three hours a week ain’t that hard in the scope of things. [1]Hell, I spend more time just looking for sex.

There are some fairly simple things you can do to combat your exploding waistline. 

1) Cut out sugared sodas!  High fructose corn syrup (HFCS) has become the number one contributor to obesity in Western Culture. [2]I’d wager other places too  I’ve beat this horse before so I won’t go on and on. If nothing else, switch to a non-sugared soda.  Your waist (and your heart) will thank you.

2) Cut way back on trans-fats. That means fried foods too.  Being a Southern boy, I know the delights of fried foods however, I’ve cut most of it out of my diet.  I splurge every now and then.  There is a big difference between a random splurge and routine consumption.  That also means about 80% of fast food places.  You do need some trans-fats in your diet however, not to the extent that we consume it.  There is enough trans-fat in one fast food burger/fries to meet your daily requirements for a full week! 

3) Cut back on sodium (salt) and preservatives.  A good rule of thumb, if it has more than 20% of sodium per serving, you don’t need it. 

4) Reduce your portions at meal time.  You’d be surprised how much this helps. 

5) If you don’t exercise regularly, add 3 hours a week.  Three hours!  If you can’t find the time to add 3 measly hours, stop whining because you obviously aren’t serious about losing weight.  If you do exercise, consistency is key.  Intensity matters however, most folks burn themselves out by going overboard.  Slow and steady progress wins every time. 

I could go on and on but you’d be surprised how much weight you’d drop by trying out the 5 tips above.  Obviously, if you are trying to lose 5-15lbs of vanity weight, the above tips might not show a dramatic increase however, it will help.  Most people aren’t looking for ripped abs they just want to see their stomach muscles. 

I was telling someone today, I hate the word "diet".  Dieting just teaches your body more efficient ways to store fat you aren’t using.  This makes it harder to burn off later.  Duh.  Don’t starve yourself.  Work on gradually changing your eating (and exercise) habits.  A good way to do this is to set goals and track your progress.  Tracking your weight loss (gain) gives you focus.  We tend to succeed at things we focus on routinely.  Setting an empty goal with no action plan will almost always fail. 

/rant

References

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↑1 Hell, I spend more time just looking for sex.
↑2 I’d wager other places too

Super Platter

If you are a football fan, you might wanna skip this rant. 

It’s no secret I’m not a football fan.  However, if I hear another fag rant about the superbowl today, I think I might start screaming.  I enjoy sports as much as they next guy but we have some fucked up priorities in this country.  Have we forgotten the rampant homophobia in professional football?  Call me weird but I don’t think I’ll follow any sport where most of the players would just as soon spit on me as to look at me.  I’ll skip the laundry list of other issues related to the players.  I find it hilarious that we can’t be bothered to get out and vote but we can gather in massive numbers to support a sport that consistently tells us they hate us. 

No, I won’t be watching the superbowl today.  I’ll stick to my freak-accepting scifi shows.

37 Years and Counting

So the 37th birthday is fast approaching.  I’m officially late 30’s now.  No longer can I refer to myself as "mid-30’s".  Of course, in the gay world, I’m reaching the daddy stage.  Another 10 years and I’ll be considered obsolete.  Not that I give a flying fuck mind you.  I get a giggle out of how we perceive age in Western culture.  It’s as if the idea of having shiny new possessions has transferred itself into our collective consciousness regarding self-image.  It doesn’t help we are constantly bombarded by images of the young and beautiful.  Images re-enforced with the message that if you want to be accepted you have to look the part.  As my English counterparts might say, "bollocks to that!"  Age is a state of mind.  You are only as old as you feel.  And frankly, I don’t feel that old.  And never really being someone who "fit in" in the first place, I’m not about to start trying now. 

I was teasing my buddy Urswine Addiction the other day about being an old man. [1]He just turned 30 this past week.  It suddenly hit me that my own birthday is fast approaching.  I look back on the span of years that is my life and it doesn’t really feel like 37 years have passed.  I’m sure focusing so many years on just surviving has something to do with it.  That said, I think there is more to it.  I don’t feel 37.  Hell, I barely feel 30.  Maybe it is because my life is still in a bit of flux.  I’m still looking at changing gears career wise.  And lord knows, I’ve struggling emotionally in the last 7 years.  Do these things play their part in my feelings of "not old"?  I do wonder.  I mean most guys my age are settled by now.  I’m left to wonder if my late start in life has helped me hold onto my feelings of youthfulness. [2]I thought it was a made up word.  However, according to Google, someone beat me to it already.  Damn!  There goes my idea to get rich quick.

In the end, I guess I really don’t care what it is that makes me feel so young.  I like it and that is enough.  So I’m not young, buff, and hung, anymore.  Big deal.  My life has only improved as I age.  Sure, there have been setbacks.  Plenty to speak of actually.  But isn’t that the point?  Shouldn’t we care more about a life lived than a life perfect?  So,I have a few less hairs on top, a few more hairs elsewhere, and a handful of wrinkles sprinkled in for flavor.  As the ever fabulous Miss Coco Peru once said, ‘I earned it bitches!’

Of course, don’t mind me.  I’m just a doddering old fool spouting off nonsense in his old age.  Turn the page to something shiny and new.  Ahhhhh!  The bliss of forgetfulness.  teehee

References

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↑1 He just turned 30 this past week.
↑2 I thought it was a made up word.  However, according to Google, someone beat me to it already.  Damn!  There goes my idea to get rich quick.

I’m Legal (Again)

With Amazon’s addition of DRM-free mp3’s for download, I’ve once again joined the ranks of people who purchase music.  When the RIAA went ballistic over downloadable content, I stopped buying music.  That was 7 years ago.  I stopped mainly out of principle as I’ll be damned if I’m gonna give someone my hard-earned cash and have them tell me when, where, and how I can play my music.  No thank you. [1]I found it very ironic I could legally copy digital content off the radio for free but downloading it directly was illegal.

The turn around regarding DRM music supports what I’ve said all along.  If you give people an easy and convenient way to do the right thing, they will.  Most of us have no desire to steal from record labels or artists.  There will always be those who feel the need to "stick it to the man" and get around paying for stuff.  Get over it already.  The majority has spoken and the record labels, it seems, are finally listening.  For those that continue to favor old distribution methods and ignore emergent technology out of greed, shame on ya.  I’ll see ya in the poor house.  /rant

I just downloaded both albums from the Scissor Sisters.  I saw them perform here in SF back before they made it big.  If you’ve never seen them, they are very over the top. lol  However, the music is pretty damn good as well.  Now I guess I have to install one of those little programs that displays what I’m listening to at the moment or what I’m downloading.  Naaaaah.

References

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↑1 I found it very ironic I could legally copy digital content off the radio for free but downloading it directly was illegal.

Techno-crap II

So, I’ve finally given up on technorati ever getting their act together and functioning.  If you don’t know, the company uses a system that basically tells who is linking to who.  It also has a ranking system based on how many links a person gets.  The problem is it rarely works.  Or at the very least, it works in spurts.  They seem to be constantly adding more algorithms to their list of links but still nothing.  Of course, I’m also overlooking that the entire system is flawed and easily spoofed.   

Hopefully, someone (are you paying attention Google?) will come along and design a system that actually works.  *le sigh*