While there are no pics, this rant is a tinsy bit on the adult side so I figured I might give you a chance to not click thru. lol
Continue reading Porn! Ok, Maybe Not
Category: rant
Color Me Crazy
As if the drama last night wasn’t enough, I got called a ‘crazy racist’ online today because I wasn’t attracted to a guy sexually. Not the first time and probably not the last. Here is our conversation.
Him: Nice profile and pics, wanna come f*ck me?
Me: Hey bud, I appreciate the offer but not really a match for me. Happy Hunting.
Him: Why don’t you just admit your crazy racist ass-hole. You make me sick. [1]I got a little annoyed here and my reply could have been worded better, I’m sure.
Me: Wait. Because, I’m not attracted to you, I’m a racist asshole? And first you want me to fuck you but then I make you sick? Which is it? I could have just hit the delete button like a lot of guys on here. I took the time to politely say, “no thanks” and I’m the asshole? So, in that vein of thought, what I should have said is, “no thanks, your fugly”. Would that have been better? Do me a favor, don’t project your inability to handle rejection onto me.
Him: *I got a follow up reply but I deleted it without opening it.*
Like I said, I could have handled it better by just ignoring his pissy email. That’s my shit and I own it, moving on. Keeping in mind here, there are no racial references for or against anywhere in any of my profile(s). This leap of logic on his part was unfounded and completely out of line.
*
So, to beat this horse properly we first need to identify several important but often lost distinctions. First, there is the very real existence of racism. Right behind that comes ignorance/indifference. And bringing up the rear (pun intended) is physical attraction (or not) to certain physical traits common to one race or another.
I am not so foolish to think racism is gone in America. Quite the contrary, some of the nasty fallout over our new president shows it is still very much alive. This makes absolutely no sense to me. Forgetting for a moment the races are blending more and more with every generation, dismissing a whole section of society based solely on their race is offensive and can be classified as racism.
In relation to the gay community, I don’t think it is out and out racism as much as ignorance. [2]I am not excusing it, just stating an observation. I can’t tell you how often I see profiles with “not into Blacks or Asians.” You may not intend to be offensive but that is exactly what you are doing by making such statements. Imagine how you’d feel reading a profile of someone you found attractive and they dismissed your entire existence based on your race. I particularly love how some guys try to apologize at the same time for saying such things. If you have to apologize perhaps you shouldn’t say it. How about you just leave it out. Nothing compels you to reply, meet, or hookup with anyone you don’t wish to. Why add such inflammatory language to your profile? [3]Out of fairness, there was a time when I made this awful mistake. I am happy to say that was well over 10 years ago.
Of course, when it comes to sex you can’t force physical attraction or the lack thereof. Attraction, like our sexuality, is not always a quantifiable behavior. For the purpose of this rant, I am referring specifically to attraction and race. And herein lies the most important distinction I feel is often lost on so many. Not being attracted to a physical trait(s) common to one race or another is not racism. From my own observations, I think this is often the real root of the matter but given the ignorance mentioned above, the line quickly becomes blurred. Want a sure fire way to know? Its quite simple. If you really have no racial hang-ups, you will find that there are always exceptions to your attraction (or lack) to a particular race.
For myself, I rarely think in term of absolutes so saying I’m not into a whole race would be a lie. I have my range and it commonly crosses the races. I’ll also admit there are some physical traits common to some races I am not attracted to. And while this is a racial issue it is only in the sense of physical attraction. However, that is never an absolute either. I don’t give a rats ass what color your skin is, if I like what you have to offer and you flop it in front of me, I’m gonna taste it. Or, if I don’t, I won’t.
Empowerment
I rarely talk about politics here. Mainly, as it is a very personal thing and also beat to death pretty much everywhere else. I’m just feel compelled to interject my feelings today.
For all the nay-sayers out there, our new President [1]notice how I deftly avoid the junk filters by leaving his name out. is off and running. Whether you agree with him or not, you can’t argue he is being decisive. His actions so far indicate a strong return of leadership in our government beyond petty greed. And lord knows, he has his work cut out for him. I personally think if he only delivers on half of his promises, he will have put our country back in the right direction.
And while I’m not so foolish to think the world is just gonna become rosey overnight, I must admit of having a feeling of hope again. Seeing our new President come out swinging with real actionable behavior gives me a bit of pride in my country once more. I find myself believing our luck direction has changed and things will eventually get better. If this is any indication on the rest of his term, we certainly could have done worse in our choice of a new leader.
I can’t ever remember a time in my life being so completely captivated by political news. I think my poor tivo is confused because it has gotten used to me not recording anything political.
Mr President, I wish you luck in the months/years to come.
/rant
References
| ↑1 | notice how I deftly avoid the junk filters by leaving his name out. |
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Trust
In a slightly less exciting rant and not meant to damper the thrill I have from my tattoo, I discovered this weekend, and not for the first time, someone I trusted has been running their mouth about my business. Business they were instructed was private and only shared in confidence. Serves me right for reaching out to someone I saw in pain and deciding to share part of myself.
Well, lesson learned. [1]And needless to say, they won’t get a 2nd opportunity
*
The irony here is for a long time I didn’t see myself as an overly moral or ethical person. Never having the benefit of strong family ties as a child, I had to teach myself right from wrong. All things considered, I’ve accomplished that goal to my satisfaction. [2]Of course, there is always room for improvement. And while my own brand of morals may not be the norm, they keep me on the path I have chosen in this life. I guess the point of my ramble here is I’m more disappointed than angry. Disappointed that integrity seems to be a catch phrase for most guys these days. I’m also disappointed in someone who obviously cares more about their next drinking buddy than true friendship.
Or, it could be I’m just getting old and crotchety. I mean my 38th birthday is fast approaching. *ducking*
Too Through
My happiness with our new President-elect is overshadowed today. With Prop 8 expected to pass here in CA, Prop 102 in AZ and Prop 2 in Florida passing, I have lost all respect for so called “Christian” hate-mongers. If you’ve been living under a rock, these 3 amendments write discrimination into their respective state constitutions.
I’ve always tried to respect peoples religious beliefs however, there comes a point where your hate, fear, and ignorance cloaked in faith is no longer acceptable. That time has come. After this election, you’ve made it very clear you hate me and hope to forever label me as a 2nd class citizen. Well I’m here to tell you, I am not going away no matter how hard you try. Nor will I blithely stand by when I hear you condemning me and mine in the name of scripture and then claiming faith as an excuse.
Of course, there are those who still claim to be “christians” who also believe in reason and human rights. It is you folks who are now faced with a difficult choice. You can continue to stand by and allow your religion (aka cult) to be corrupted by greed and hate or you can take a stand. You can stand for common decency, respect, and equal treatment of all people. You can put your fellow “christians” on notice their behavior is not acceptable and take back your faith. But, if you choose to stand idly by and do nothing while still identifying with those who hate me, you are no longer exempt from my scorn either. [1]I feel it is worth noting, some of the most horrific atrocities ever committed in human history were done in the name of faith.
No matter how hard you try to justify your actions using archaic scripts, you know deep down it is wrong. And it is you who is accountable for that.
And to be clear, I don’t hate you. But don’t expect me to ‘turn the other cheek’ any longer.
References
| ↑1 | I feel it is worth noting, some of the most horrific atrocities ever committed in human history were done in the name of faith. |
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Donate, Please
I rarely ask anything of my readers other than respect. This time I am asking a little more. Let me be clear, I am not above begging. The extremist wingnuts couldn’t win with the truth so they’ve taken to lying in their festering evil attempt to write discrimination into the California State constitution.
It is a sad day indeed when the “moral majority” has to resort to lying and deceit to win their case in the hearts & minds of everyday folk. This is one of the most important votes of the century. Whether you live in California or not, if you believe as I do, that two people regardless of their sex should be allowed to form stable, long-term LEGAL relationships under the law, then I urge you to help out.
Please, even if you can only donate $10, take a moment and hop over to
If 1 million people gave just $1.00 that would be one million in extra funds to fight the hate and lies being brought against us in the upcoming election.
I gave $400 of my own money today. I decided to forgo the shiny new riding jacket I wanted. Instead, I donated the money to the No to Prop. 8 campaign. I make this pledge. If enough people donate from this post to raise $1000.00, I will donate $400.00 more of my own money.
Please, I urge you, take a moment to donate whatever you can. Even if it is only a few dollars, every little bit helps when we act together.
All of these fine folks have also helped out. I’ll add every link I discover to this post.
Roblog
Romach
Joe my God
Towleroad
Bear Schmear
Queeristan
Gooster
Mathias n Oz
SwimfinsSF
thisboyelroy
McCain Still a Hypocrit
McCain Never Returned Cash from former Manhunt Chairman
While I’m still on my high horse…
So not only did they not return the money but Crutchley is still working for MH even if he is no longer on the board. He still owns a significant share of the company and not being “on the board” was window dressing to appease us so we would blithely turn away and keep looking for our next hookup.
/rant
15 years to life in S.F. dog maul death
15 years to life in S.F. dog maul death
It only took 7 years for the verdict to be reached. This dog attack was beyond despicable. It was also one of the most horrific animal attacks I’ve ever been privy to. There are things I am bound not to reveal due to rules that govern my employment. I can say she (and her husband) got off lucky. I shudder to think how much easier it might have been for them both to get off scott-free in other parts of the country. I am personally glad this person will do extended prison time but I feel it is a slap on the wrist compared to what she (and her husband) should have received.
I grew up on a farm and I love animals. I currently don’t own pets because I am not home enough and I would never allow an animal to go neglected. Leaving an animal home alone for hours (sometimes days) at a time is cruel. But, I digress. I would never, and I say NEVER, own such an aggressive dog in a City environment. Dogs are not children but the effort and control involved is similar in many aspects. Large dogs, especially naturally aggressive ones, need a lot of love, attention, and control. If trained properly it is not an overly tasking skill. When left on their own or antagonized, they become even more aggressive. As an FYI, you are solely responsible if your animal attacks a human being. [1]Yes, there are exceptions based on circumstances.
The sad reality is many people who own animals do not take personal responsibility for their animals. And, it is the animal and other helpless victims who end up suffering.
/rant
References
| ↑1 | Yes, there are exceptions based on circumstances. |
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Blog On Betches
And now for something not completely about me…
I’ve weighed in lately on several sights about the future/fate of blogging. Some still think blogging is the next best thing since sliced bread. Others think blogging has reached its peak and is slowly dying a painful agonizing death.
For my .02, I don’t really agree 100% with either camp. I do think like any medium, blogging is evolving and will continue to do so. The new blogs popping up every day have declined dramatically. No argument there. But, I don’t necessarily contribute that to a slow death. I think it has more to do with market saturation and the natural evolution of the medium. Blogging is not the “new thing” anymore. [1]One might argue micro-blogging is the new/old “thing” That said, it has managed to cross social, political, cultural, informative, and even entertainment boundaries to become an almost universal form of interaction. Even the traditional news/media outlets woke up and realized blogging was changing the very way we disseminate and gather news in general. And like any medium, I think in time blogging will settle into it’s niche market and continue to thrive and prosper. Whether it be for purely personal or profit, I absolutely think blogging is here to stay.
I don’t really care to delve into the political or profitable side of blogging. I think living in a capitalistic culture that speaks for itself. From the social side, we’ve seen blogs come and go. I’ll be the first to admit it is sad to see a favorite blog end. But if you think about it, how is that any different from life? People come and go in our lives every day. From the mundane and random to the profound and life-changing, we get a birds-eye view of the true characteristics of humanity, good and bad. We’ve also seen our share of fakes, flakes, and flashes. To me, the latter group (and the fallout surrounding) shows us how much we still need to grow as a species in general.
I firmly believe, like anything in life, you get out of blogging what you put into it. If you just randomly post or interact then you should probably expect the same in return. I often hear from many of my own commenters they are afraid to start blogging because they don’t feel their own lives are engaging or exciting enough. To that I say, who cares? If you find comfort or solace in being able to share your life and experiences however mundane, then I say go for it. You don’t need permission. You don’t need a rabid following. You don’t have to be a prolific writer or linguist. [2]Good lord, look at the mosh pit of grammatical errors my own blog represents. heehee From a purely social aspect, all you really need is an opinion, conviction to follow thru, and the ability to type. It really is that simple.
My own venture into blogging was originally a mechanism to deal with a painful breakup. Afterwards, it became an avenue of therapy and self-exploration. Having chronicled such a significant part of my life has been richly rewarding. I’ve always said I blog first and foremost for me. That is still true today. Yes, I know people read and comment and I appreciate that. [3]Being from the South and always having an opinion on practically everything has helped. lol Looking back over my own blog entries has shown me how much I have and am growing as a man. The very act of blogging has given me a sense of belonging that I never had before.
Will I always blog? I can’t really say. The future is a devious and every changing beast. I will say I have no immediate plans to stop, that is for sure. Do I think blogging in general will be around for years to come? Absolutely.
Victim or Fraud?
*Let me make it very clear, my rant today is about my views in general. I will not tolerate bashing anyone. Comments regarding the situation referenced need to be in a respectful format, whether you agree or not. Anything to the contrary will be deleted.*
Many of you may have heard of the recent scandal to blow thru the blogosphere. If you haven’t here is a quick summation.
- Blog named Coopers Corridor was about a gay firefighter with adopted kids blogging about the challenges and joys of raising children as a gay man.
- Blog owner ends blog after a vicious attack by email/posts.
- Blogosphere expresses outrage over the attacks.
- Blog turns out to be completely false. Cooper is not a gay man but in fact a person claiming to be transgendered. Children are non-existent. Huge chunks of the blog came from another woman’s blog about her children.
All caught up? Good, moving on. While not overly involved in this latest incident, I have fallen prey to such antics in the past. [1]I’m sure you long time readers know exactly what I’m referring to. I’ve also seen innocent people get drawn into said fallouts. People who were often innocent bystanders and who were so dismayed by the downright nastiness of others, they gave up blogging all together. Hell, I’ve even been accused of being a fake myself. [2]The pesky hundreds of bloggers who have met me sort of dispelled that rumor. heehee