society – Page 16 – Moby Files: Blog

What Color Is My Skin?

I have so much to write about I’m busting at the seams. I know I’m bound to forget some of it. Oh well, such is life I guess.

I was a good boy and went to the gym today. Nice back/bicep workout. There is a new guy working out the Gold’s on Brannan. Obviously straight but a total hottie. I drop an egg every time I see him basically. Today he said hi to me and I almost yelped. I’m not so silly as to read anything into it. He often sees me and was just being friendly. Moving on…

I was reading brett cajun today and was dismayed by his article on the problems facing New Orleans in the aftermath of Katrina. I say dismayed as exactly what I thought would happen did. Or is happening. (I’m not sure of the grammar here but you get the point.)

We think we are so civilized as a society and yet we aren’t even close. You only need to look at a disaster like Katrina to realize that. We quickly revert back to “fend for ourselves” mentality and screw everyone else. Even worse, the government that we elect to protect and serve, failed it’s citizens in the most fundamental way. The ball was dropped at the local level which created a cascading failure all the way to the top. A failure compounded by our lack of support in the aftermath. I think I’ve beat that point to death so I’ll get back on focus.

Half of my family is from Cajunville so I am no stranger to New Orleans or it’s class issues. New Orleans has always had issues w/racism and poverty. A tiny percentage of the city lives in wealth and prosperity. A tiny percentage of “white folks” mind you. There is a decent size “middle-class community but it is completely overshadowed by the large percentage of people living at or below poverty level. Most of which are black. After Katrina, the government tried a ‘quick fix’ to the problem by throwing money at it and hoping “they’ll take what they can get” and go somewhere else. Well friends, that is not the answer as is becoming obviously clear. The crime rate in New Orleans has sky-rocketed. As often happens, people overlook the subtleties for the more obvious differences. By this I mean race. Considering over half of the population is black and most of those live in the afore mentioned poor conditions, it isn’t a big leap in logic to figure you will have a higher percentage of blacks committing crimes.

When every crime against you is perpetrated by someone who is black, it becomes easy to make assumptions about race. I’m fortunate enough to be far enough removed now to see the issue more clearly. If I still lived in New Orleans, I might think the same thing. But, if we are to truly become civilized then we must move beyond ‘easy answers’ and work on the bigger problems. Hoping “they” will go away hasn’t worked before and won’t work now.

Sadly, I don’t think that will happen in New Orleans but one can still hope right? (And some might think this a pot-shot at Brett. It isn’t. He took some heat for his post and kudos to him for foregoing politeness for honesty. I adore Brett. I just felt the need to sound off my own opinion w/o monopolizing his blog.)

Oh, and one more thing… Saying you “are not a racist” only makes you look like an ass. Everyone is a racist to one degree or another. It is how you act on it that defines you.

Ignunce II

I mentioned I recently joined my space. Well, so far not bad. However, as is prone to happen, ignunce rears it’s ugly head. I got this lovely email from a rather unattractive out-of-shape female today. In her defense, her intelligence is matched only by her beauty…

I am sorry that you are gay. You are good looking and woman would probably be all over you!!!I dont understand it my self cause I LOVE MEN. What a waste!!!!

My first response was to slice her to bits but what would that solve? Anyone stupid enough to send such a comment isn’t firing all 4 cylinders anyway. Instead, I politely advised her not to start conversations w/total strangers w/insults. I doubt she understood what I meant though.

Fiddlin’ Again

I’ve moved some things around on the blog for aesthetics. How’d I do?

I was also particularly struck by a recent post by Aaron over at meanwhile on “corporate gays” today. Apparently, he hit a sore spot w/quite a few of his readers. Aaron is a new read for me but so far I’m really enjoying reading some of his insights. Check’em out.

Stick & Stones Will . . .

I thought I’d talk about something other than myself today. Yeah, I know, there’s a first.

I do keep up my blogroll even though I get behind at times. Some more than others but I usually make it to all about once a week. Lately though, I’ve been reading Steve from Bent Collective a lot. If you aren’t a heavy reader of Bent, you should be. Here you have a man in the prime of his life giving of himself to help others. He traveled half way around the world to the bodunk country of Uzbekistan, easily a third world country, to setup a clinic and care for the ravaged HIV population there. Uzbekistan is only 2 small countries away from Afghanistan. They don’t particularly like us. Of course, being so far away does present some technological issues. Enter his friend Al who often keeps us apprised of Steve’s lastest efforts via the blog.
Continue reading Stick & Stones Will . . .

Profile

Thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes. The birthday went off pretty well. I got to see some friends in town from back home, which was very nice. (Now, if they’d only leave, I’m worn out.) I also got to be naughty. So all and all, it was good.

So today’s rant involves online profiles. It’s amazing what you can interpret about a person not from what they say but how they say it. Having been online for years and years, I’ve gleaned some knowledge that might be helpful. Look at it as a way to invite less drama into your life.

Here goes. . . my top 10 do’s and don’ts of having a succesful profile. (Whether it be for sex or just dating) Take it as you will . . .

1) Handle rejection. First off and most important, if you can’t handle rejection you probably shouldn’t be online. Unless you are desperate for just anyone, it is unrealistic to expect every person will be your match or that you are match for everyone. Attraction has to be a two way street for it to work.

2) Be specific. If you are looking for something, say as much. If you have a characteristic or fetish you’re into then make sure it’s included. Don’t use subjective terms. I often see terms like “looking for real men”. That could mean anything to any number of men. Duh! Also skip terms like “vgl or “hot”. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. While you may consider yourself “vgl”, others may not. Let your pictures speak for your looks.

Continue reading Profile

No, Not Me! He Did It!

So following on the trail of Dunner and Steve, I thought I’d weigh in on recent news of HIV men arrested and even being sent to prison for not revealing their status to sex partners. One case, a women was arrested, sent to jail, and put on probation even though none of her sex partners sero-converted. Another case, a man faces 15 years in prison just for spitting on an officer. Spitting which has been repeatedly proven not to be a form of virus transmission. As if that wasn’t scary enough, another man was arrested and is being tried on higher charges for simply soliciting sex for money. He didn’t even HAVE sex. Yet, he is facing serious jail time, if not prison, out of fear, hate, and misinformation in a back-asswards state.

For the record, I do not condone deceit in any form. If you are poz, you have an obligation to let your partners know your status. You also shouldn’t assume because he isn’t putting a condom on, “he must be neg” or because “he didn’t ask me to put a condom on, he must be poz”. I’m not referring to anyone who would intentionally infect others. That’s a whole nother ball of wax.

Sending HIV-positive men/women to prison for poor judgement is not the answer. And it sets a dangerous precedent for everyone. Not to mention, creating laws liked this will only encourage more people not to get tested. Now how is that in any way productive? It isn’t.

And we know the straight white men in charge always do the right thing, right? Of course, if that were true, we wouldn’t be having this argument. We also would never have robbed the Indians of the their land, enslaved a whole race of human beings, objectified women for half a century, or abandoned a whole section of society simply because of their same-sex attractions.

What it boils down to is simple. Whether you are positive or negative, you are the only person responsible for your health as well as the decisions you make. If you want to stay negative, then you should make sure you have safe sex and/or have the balls to ask your sexual partners their status beforehand. Saying “well, he should have told me” and pointing blame is a cop out.

I’ll Have A Venti Bomb Latte

Holy Cow! I’ve heard of grumbling about Starbucks but this is ri-god-damn-diculous!

SAN FRANCISCO (AP) (full story) – Police defused an explosive device found in the bathroom of a Starbucks on Monday. No one was injured.

Authorities were called around 1:15 p.m., after an employee reported finding something suspicious in the store’s bathroom. About 100 people were evacuated from the store and apartments above it, and the street was closed to traffic, said Sgt. Neville Gittens.

“This was a good device. If it had exploded, it would have caused injuries or damage,” said Gittens, who would not describe its size.

Once the device was disabled at about 2:10 p.m., police allowed people back into the apartment building and reopened the street. The store, located at a busy city intersection, remained closed Monday evening while authorities investigated.

That’s just ignunt. Don’t they know for everyone you close, 6 more pop up!

To Link or Not To Link

I’m on a roll today I guess. After getting a snotty email on why I never linked to someone, I thought Id post this page as an educational announcement.

I’m not going to list the blogger or the email as that wouldn’t really serve a purpose. However, I no longer try to reason why such things happen as I can only control myself. If you read my blog w/any regularity you know Im usually pretty blunt. Today is no exception.

There seems to be a lot of confusion on what is considered good blog etiquette. To take the confusion out of it. Ive taken some time to jot down a few things I think might help.

1. First and always, I blog for me. I also link for me. I link for a variety of reasons known only to myself. When I do link to someone, I do not expect a link in return. However, I am always flattered when I discover blogs linking to me. Anyone is welcome to link to me if they so wish. You do not need my permission.

2. If you link to someone expecting to get a link back, you are probably in for some disappointments. Not everyone blogs for the same reason. Expecting someone to magically know you want a link back is unrealistic. If you take the time to comment (more than once) on someones blog, sometimes that is enough. Sometimes it isnt.

3. If someone not linking back to you is really that upsetting, you should probably turn off the computer and seek therapy. Im not being derogatory, just honest. Worrying about things you cant control only serves to make you miserable.

4. Commenting on my blog is encouraged and welcomed. Whether you agree or disagree is not important. My only ground rule is that even if you disagree, be respectful about it. You can vehemently disagree w/someone w/o being ugly, mean-spirited, or flat out hateful. I rarely delete comments as I like to get perspective on my madness. The internet is a powerful medium for communication. However, direct attacts or anything that falls into the above mentioned no-nos gets deleted w/o a second thought. After all, it is my blog.

5. Very few people speak perfect English. Correcting someones grammatical mistakes via a post is usually offensive, IMHO. I often write in improper Enlgish on purpose. Being from the South, I also use a lot of colloquialism. I try to include this in my writing as it gives inflection that you would normally get from my voice. By doing so, you get a much clearer picture of who I am.

Thats pretty much it folks. I might not be the norm when it comes to bloggers but I try to fall back on two axioms that seem to serve me best.

1. Treat others the way you would like to be treated. Hence when you are ugly, Im ugly right back usually.
2. Dont make assumptions. Ask, if you have a question or unsure of what to do.

I also created this post as a page link in my “Useful Bits” section here as a helpful guide for any future readers/bloggers who stumble over me.

Target Responds…

**This is a long one today folks. If you don’t care to hear it, skip on down. **

So I finally got a response from Target today. (I ranted about Target allowing pharmacist’s to refuse filling prescriptions if it conflicted w/their “religious beliefs”.) While I still don’t quite agree w/their approach, I am heartened to know there are some limitations to this so called allowance. Here is the email I got to today in it’s entirety.

Dear Target Guest

In our ongoing effort to provide great service to our guests, Target consistently ensures that prescriptions for the emergency contraceptive Plan B are filled. As an Equal Opportunity Employer, Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 also requires us to accommodate our team members sincerely held religious beliefs.

In the rare event that a pharmacists beliefs conflict with filling a guests prescription for the emergency contraceptive Plan B, our policy requires our pharmacists to take responsibility for ensuring that the guests prescription is filled in a timely and respectful manner, either by another Target pharmacist or a different pharmacy.

The emergency contraceptive Plan B is the only medication for which this policy applies.
Under no circumstances can the pharmacist prevent the prescription from being filled, make discourteous or judgmental remarks, or discuss his or her religious beliefs with the guest.

Target abides by all state and local laws and, in the event that other laws conflict with our policy, we follow the law.

We’re surprised and disappointed by Planned Parenthoods negative campaign. Weve been talking with Planned Parenthood to clarify our policy and reinforce our commitment to ensuring that our guests prescriptions for the emergency contraceptive Plan B are filled. Our policy is similar to that of many other retailers and follows the recommendations of the American Pharmacists Association. Thats why its unclear why Target is being singled out.

Were committed to meeting the needs of our female guests and will continue to deliver upon that commitment.

Sincerely,

Jennifer Hanson
Target Executive Offices

I always like to get both sides to a story before I go off on a rampage. It is disappointing to see they do in fact allow it to happen. They try to make nicey nicey w/the part about making sure the prescription gets filled by someone. Well, it just ain’t right in my book. Supposedly, it only applies to contraceptives of a certain type but I have a sneaky suspicion in rural areas this rule takes on a whole new meaning.

I rarely get to Target (tar-zshay) anymore as we don’t have one here in SF. However, I often buy things from their website. I can’t say if that will continue knowing that they allow such despicable behavior. Even if it is only having to due w/contraceptives.

Gay & Not So Gay

In the spirit of Halloween and costumes, I ask you….how do you describe your gayness? Is it just about the fact that you like to suck cock or is it more? Do you define gayness by the clothes you wear, the places you go, the people you know, and/or how butch you act (or don’t)? Better yet, how do you define masculinity? Do you use any of the previous mentioned criteria?

I just don’t understand sometimes how we can be so blind to our shortcomings when they are so obvious. The attitude I see most often is the clothing makes the man. Doesn’t matter how fem or masculine you are as long as you dress butch it’s ok…your butch.

Here’s a clue!

I don’t care how butch you dress, if you open your mouth and Barbie rolls out spouting her newest shoe purchase you ain’t butch. And while I’m answering the clue hotline here’s another tip. Its ok! Be yourself. It doesn’t matter if you dress in a dress or leather, it’s all drag if it’s not you.

Then there’s the straight-acting group. You can suck cock at Blowbuddy’s but you can’t get your nails done in the Castro. Oh no, that would be just appear to be too gay! Whatever. Again, get over it!

A simple observation is you can enhance or create an appearance either direction. But at the end of the day, is this who you really are?

I often refer to myself as “post gay”. I forget who coined the term but I took to it immediately. Such a simple word combination sums up so much. A sort of “been there, did that” type of thing. I’m probably not explaining it well. I’m just annoyed w/current gays. Our culture seems obsessed w/”gayness” and almost always masculinity is tied into it, directly or indirectly. We internalize our homophobia and dish each other creating even more separation.

I wonder when will it end. Will we continue down the current path where androgyny is the new butch or will we just grow up a bit and be more accepting? (The latter option is looking pretty grim I’m afraid.)