Beautiful Day in The Neighborhood

Golden Gate Bridge
It is a beautiful day here in the great SF. I’m almost good as new health wise and I’m plugged in here at work. The sun is out, it is warm and the world is rolling by at a nice steady pace. If I may, I’d like to interject some routine drivel.

First, even if you do have the right-of-way, never step in front of a moving muni coach thinking it will stop. Here is a clue. They may call it a LRV (light rail vehicle) but it is by no means light. Those buggers weigh in excess of 20 tons. With this in mind, they do not stop on a dime. DUH!

Second, when your driving down the freeway and your vehicle is on fire. It is considered wise to pull over and exit the vehicle. Just a thought.

*getting off the high horse*

I’m almost back to normal. I’m headed back to the gym tomorrow. OY and do I miss it. I feel so flabby. With the family drama and then getting sick it has been just over two weeks since my last workout. To commemorate the occasion, I’m starting a new workout routine. The only reason I mention this is I’m planning on adding links regarding m routines to the website once I get the flash & php crap figured out. Leave it to me to pick one of the most difficult designs to incorporate.

My Place or Yours?

I ran into a casual friend the other day. I clarify casual here as we know each other but not very well. During the conversation it comes out that he has a bf. But the odd part is they’ve been together 12 years but still live apart. So of course, I asked him, “How exactly does that work?” His reply, “well, I am a very independent person and I like my own space. He spends a lot time at my house but has his own place when we have a fight.

Ok, my interpretation…sounds like an expensive way to have a cooling off period. But, Hey! if it works for them, who am I to judge. So then I asked, “So I assume you have an open relationship?” His reply, “well, that is a complicated question.” *ding ding, ding ding, we have a winner Johnny* Now we come to the heart of the matter.

By this point, I have several preconceived notions. After prodding & poking several times, the real gist of their relationship becomes clear. They keep separate places so “extra-curricular” activities are private and there is no jealousy issues. For purpose of staying on topic, I’m not touching that one. *g*

Now on to my two cents. I don’t think I could have a serious LTR with a person who wasn’t living w/me. I’m not talking about the initial “getting to know each other part” either. Moving in w/someone is a big step. You definitely need to spend significant time together before you make the leap. I’m referring to two people who have made a commitment to each other as life partners. Part of the reason I yearn for a partner is intimacy. After that comes companionship. Neither of which would be easily accomplished by living apart. Last but not always least, when I sport a woody in the middle of the night, I wanna be able to roll over and take care of it! How is that accomplished by living apart?

I can see it now….

*telephone ringing*

….hello? hey hon, its 3:00 in the morning, anything wrong?
(talking from phone)
Oh, you’re horny? Well why don’t you come over?
(more talking)
No, I don’t feel like driving over, why don’t you come here?
(talking)
Ok, uh-huh.
(yet more talking)
Well, I still don’t feel like it.
(yelling in the phone now)
Well, if you @#$%! lived here, we wouldn’t have this problem now would we?
*hang up*

*giggle* That would SOOOO be something I’d do.

A Day of Days!

Today is a Day of Days folks! (Bonus points if you know where I stole this quote from) Ok, so apparently I should watch the news more often. I got to work and plugged in before I knew this ruling came out!

San Francisco County Superior Court Judge Richard Kramer ruled that keeping gays and lesbians from getting marriage licenses is unconstitutional.

If the ruling is upheld on appeal, it would pave the way for the nation’s most populous state to follow Massachusetts in allowing same-sex marriages.

Kramer’s opinion came in a pair of lawsuits that were trying to overturn the state’s statutory ban on gay marriage.

Talk about a scandal and a half. Someone call Martha! I can only hope it survives the appeal. Ok, scratch that, I didn’t actually find out on the news. I read it on T’s blog. Dunner and Towleroad got in on the act too. Check’em out for more details if you haven’t already.

Comments

So most of you have probably noticed, the comments didn’t transfer over from the old blog. I haven’t found a way to do that yet so for now, all of my old comments will have to be manually posted. A task that I may or may not get too anytime soon.

Never fear the comments section is working fine. The first time you post it gets sent to moderation to weed out the spammers. Once approved your comments post as usual the next time.

Meeting of the Blogs

So lunch today w/Rob went great! My first impression? Rob is a caring sensitive fella stuffed in a big brutes frame. [1]yes, that was a compliment In case you missed it, Rob has a full plate as of late w/a side of drama thrown in. I tried to talk about my favorite topic today (me, of course) to help distract him. We went to Goathill Pizza over on Potrero Hill. My first time at Goathill and the pizza was delish. I don’t get over that way much but now I have a great new pizza joint to add to my repertoire. (hukd on fonix wurkd 4 me. lol good spelling but not really the best use of the word)

Rob and I talked about our lives, ex’es, politics, and housing prices in SF. And!, we squeezed all of that into just an hour. Not an easy task when I’m on a roll. *big smile*

So scratch another blogger off the list! So far I’m 2-0.

References

References
1 yes, that was a compliment

A Good Man?

Today was my first venture out per say since getting sick. I decided to hop over to the Eagle for some socializing. Not bad. Ran into some friends but didn’t see the ones I had originally planned to.

So while I’m there, I happen to bump into a guy who I have been a bit “biblical” with. He promptly gives me a quick wink and then proceeds to avoid me the rest of the time. I tend to find this type of behavior amusing now however, it used to bother me a lot. Having matured a bit, I no longer assume something is wrong w/me. While this exchange is occurring, I hear my group discussing a rather worn out topic. “Where are all the good men?” So this got got me to thinking. (brains and liquor…hmmm?) How many times have I heard this? I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve heard guys go on an on about how there are “no good men” left in the dating pool.

As it turns out, I run into an old bf (no, not THE ex). M and I dated very briefly. He got annoyed that I wasn’t able to offer more at the time and stopped calling. So years later, we are friends again. Back to the story. We decide to have dinner tonight and he rants/raves about how he has given up on dating. I caught myself counting, waiting for the catch phrase. I swear, I counted in my head. 1…2….3…wait for it….4….5…BAM! “There are just not any good men around anymore!” There it was. I laughed and continued the conversation not feeling the need to go on about it.

What is a “good man”? The older I get the more I am of the belief that a successful relationship is not based on how much you love someone but on how much you are able to put up w/him. Wait, before you think I’m just being bitter, let me clarify. The success of an LTR I think depends on how you treat each other in the bad times. The good times are easy and require no control on your part. On the other hand, in the bad times we tend to show our base selves. It is at this critical moment that I think determines how successful a LTR will be.

Had I applied this train of thought to my previous relationship, I might have saved myself the heartbreak. I routinely make myself out to be a martyr as far as my ex is concerned. And while he did do a lot of things wrong, I have come to realize that I had a part to play as well. I enabled him to continue the cycle by over rationalizing his actions. This discovery tends to knock the wind out of my sails of self-righteousness a bit.

Here I go rambling again. (focus, focus, focus) IMO, we are usually the same “men” that we complain about. Blame it on society, gay culture, being sex-obsessed, whatever. Nine times out of ten, we bitch about meeting quality men but never do anything to make ourselves a “quality man”. And I’m not talking about muscles or good looks. Muscles you can get but, if you aren’t building the inside no matter how good the outside gets you’re still left w/the same old you on the inside. So as not to sound like a hypocrite, I’m pretty sure I fall into this category as well at times.

My advice to anyone who whines about not being able to find a good guy. Are you someone the guy you want would want in return? If no, then I suggest you become the qualities you seek. And don’t confuse the issue here, I’m not referring to muscles. I’m refering to the inner qualities. As my best friend is fond of saying, “Your looks will get you in the door but, it is your character that will keep you there.”

Strong words to live by.

Meanderings

Well, its been two full days up and running w/Wordpress now and I’m very happy w/it so far. After the initial glitch getting it installed, it was very simple to setup.

Not much to rep today. I slept till 1130, got up, showered, played w/the monkey, had lunch, went in for a few hours of overtime at work and thats it. My day is done.

Exciting huh? It has been nice to not cough my head off all day.

Confuscious Say….

…man you fart in church have his one p(h)ew. *g*

Ok, so I’m plodding away thru the php code and slowly grasping the dynamics of it. My new design is going to require some heavy rewrites of the code so it probably won’t be up this week. I’m sticking w/the default design until I switch over. So far, I’m of the mindset PHP is OVERLY complex however, I’m still a newbie at it. I realize it offers some great modularity however, it seems the same could be accomplished w/xhtml and my mysql. Don’t quote me.

I am feeling better today finally. I think I’m finally on the mend. I don’t plan on doing anything this weekend to jepordize that either.