Author: Moby

Glad To Be Sad

*Put your boots on, it’s gonna get deep today*

Well, it looks like the saga between M and I is coming to a close. We were supposed to hang out yesterday and he stood me up. He did text me afterwards to cancel. Something about he felt tired from his trip. That might have been ok had I not run into him just a couple hours later looking guiltier than a whore in church when he saw me. I figure either he doesn’t know what he wants or doesn’t want me and just can’t come out and say it. Either way, it was a defining moment for me. I’m done with trying to figure out his mixed signals and on again/off again interest.

I was annoyed and hurt all at the same time. Annoyed, because he was the one that suggested we hang out. I wasn’t me being pushy.1 We’ve talked a few times over the last few weeks but I’ve kept my distance. I was hurt because I’d been looking forward to seeing him all week. Maybe that is my fault but it’s moot now. For the record, the worst thing you can do to me is ignore me or push me away.2 I’m not into keeping stuff bottled up. And frankly, I don’t want anyone who is. In a way, I’m kind of glad it happened though. The situation has been weighing on my mind a lot lately. At least now, I can let it go and move on.

So once again, I’m left to examine my past and future and wonder is it worth it to try again? After the nasty fallout with my ex and the mind games of Bent Collective, is it really worth it?3 Each time I’m tempted to say no. It would be easier, I admit it. It would be easier to play the victim and wonder “why me?” or “what did I do wrong?” But life isn’t about the easy parts. It’s about the hard parts and how we survive them. And to say no now would be giving up on all the things I’ve tried to become in a man.

Well, I’m not ready to throw in the towel just yet.

1 Nothing like a little guilt to make a situation worse.
2 Mental note to any future ex husbands out there. *g*
3 Even though, my ex and I are good friends now.

Holy War

Brothers and sisters, harken unto my voice. I am declaring a fatwa. Not on who but what, grease and fat! As the first of the three gay high holy days1 approaches, it is time. The Motherland, one again, is preparing to receive her lost children unto her bosom. She will have you clean and deserving or not at all.

I declare unto you, go forth and make war on the fatty and greasy foods. No more will you be slaves to their evil influence. You must resist the temptation to indulge in their sinfulness2. They are infidels and will only try to subvert you into their hideous ways. Instead, you will prostrate yourself in daily workout routines. You will not skip your cardio workouts. You will burn away the years of evil residue and build up. Make it so for I have spoken. I have declared they are the “axis of evil” and must be defeated at all costs! Make it so my children.

1 Gay Pride, Up Your Alley Fair, and Folsom St. Fair.
2 That means no Taco Bell brettcajun!

Blogapalooza 2007 II

**Update*** Several folks have already expressed an interest in an Saturday get together as some are arriving Friday and will miss the one on Friday. I’ll try to arrange something for Saturday for those who can’t make the Friday shindig.

Ok blog fans, the date is fast approaching. The big blogger weekend aka SF Pride is not far off. I’m creating a page w/links to blogs or emails for all those planning to attend. That way everyone can rub elbows, talk shop, discuss room & board options, etc.

I know DanNation is also working on a more specific date and time however, I’m just looking for numbers vs events. Once the weekend approaches and more folks have an idea of their schedules, I’ll try to arrange a get together. Again, nothing fancy or overly pretentious, just a space for the group to meet, maybe grab some food or drink, and chat. I took the weekend off so I’ll have time to play vs worry about work. The only kink would be getting called for the EMT gig however, I’m really not expecting to be called in the first group.1

Anway, last year’s gathering was very fun and I got to meet quite a few folks. I’m hoping to add more to the list this year.

1 No, not giving up just being realistic.

Ooops VII

I totally spaced that I a VA1 day today. I had originally planned to make a trip home however, w/all my EMT stuff lately, I never booked it. Scratch two trips this year. Ugh! I did get out of the house over the weekend so there is that. It’s sunny today albeit chilly. Very typical SF day. I’m having dinner at The Cove and then I’m thinking its a good night for DVDs.

I picked up God of War 2 for the PS2 yesterday. I spent all last evening2 and most of today playing it. hehehe. It is a very visually stunning game with a superb soundtrack to match. Throw in some great mythology and it is one of the few games worth the $50.00 price tag. Needless to say, I didn’t do any chores. lol Thankfully, I have today for that. (yeah right)

In other news, I have a bitchy rant coming soon. Just a list of inconsiderate quirks that people do that really pisses me off.

1 Vacation day.
2 I was up till 4:00am

If You Care…

Couldn’t think of a catchy title.


Just finished lunch with Ginabruce. Now I’m back at Starbucks, what a surprise. lol So yesterday, I went for a nice ride on the bike and then stopped off at the beach for some hiking. I forget sometimes how beautiful this city can be. There are so many little pockets of nature all over if you just take the time to notice.

Continue reading If You Care…

Healthcare & Randomness

The city is dropping my insurance carrier this year. Granted I’m not overly happy w/them but I’m not overly unhappy either. At least, I’m used to them and I know what to expect. Now, I have to start over with a new carrier I’ve never used before. I’m reminded of the adage “You know what you got but you don’t know what your getting.“. Very true in this instance. I can’t bitch too much. The city does pay my monthly premiums in full and all of the plans offered are pretty comprehensive. So anyway, I had to trek down to the health care office today, stand in line, and wait just so some lady could look at my form, stamp it, and send me on my way. Today was the deadline too. I’ve been dreading doing it so, as usual, I procrastinated.

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By now, several folks have noticed the rotating banners. This one is a full on tinker vs a plugin. However, it is very easy to setup. It only requires one minor code change to get it up and running. Speaking of, I’ve gotten a lot of requests about the plugins I use here on the blog. I’m working on a plugin page that lists them all out along with their respective homepages. The twitter do-hickey on the left has become a favorite for my local friends. I’m so-so about updating it but more than one friend has managed to track me down using it. hehehe. Some people have expressed some reservations about being so “plugged in” however, I like it. And there is nothing that says I have to keep it. I also folded the 100 things page into the blog template. I never did find the time to tweak the master one to make it work with the blog. I’ve given up on it as I’m pretty happy with the current format (for now).

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I’m just goofing off today mostly. The medic crew I normally ride with has a second intern so I’m bumped from my ride a longs for yet another month. Nothing I can do about it so no use complaining. I’ll have to do laundry and random chores at some point but nothing else planned. There has been some friction between the roomie and I lately. Once again, he is having an issue with his finances. I finally just decided to put him on a payment plan. I totaled up all of the shared monthly expenses, divided it by half and then knocked off another 15%. This is his share and he knows exactly what is due now and basically splits it between paychecks. I like my home life drama free and don’t mind shouldering a tad more of the finances if it means he will get his share to me consistently and on time. That said, if he can’t stay on top of it, we may have to have another “come to jesus” meeting.

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It is a beautiful day in the city here today. Unlike my last weekend, it is sunny and warm. The boys are out in the hood with a vengeance. I think I’ll cut the blogging short for now so I can go for a nice ride on the bike.

Testing 1 2 3

I had my oral interview this morning for the EMT gig. I did not do as well as I wanted but I did ok. I expected something completely different and had to radically adjust my thinking once there. Not the end of the world as it is the overall score I’m concerned with however, I could have done better. The physical agility test is this afternoon. I am not worried about it at all as I do the skills required on a very regular basis.

So now I’m home, licking my wounds and having lunch. More later.

***Update***

I made up for sucking ass on the oral interview. I fucking aced the PAT1! Not only that but I was the oldest guy in my group and I had the fastest time. hehehe. The other 3 guys were all in their 20’s. Two were very young and the other was late 20’s. All of us were in pretty good shape. I am so proud of myself! The test consisted of several components. You had to pick up and carry two 35lb bags (70lbs total) and run up 6 flights of stairs (7 floors). At the top, you dropped the bags and dragged a prone dummy 30 feet from one line to the next. After you get the all clear, you grab your two bags and head back down the stairs to the bottom. At the end, you run over and pull a loaded gurney from an ambulance, secure the legs, and then put it back in again. No biggie right? Here’s the catch. You have to do it all under 4 minutes. I had a full minute and 30 seconds to spare from beginning to end!

Admittedly, the hardest part is dragging 70lbs up six flights of stairs. I was chugging along pretty well until that last fraking stairwell between 6-7. My poor quads were screaming for release and more than a little rubbery. I had forgotten to change and wear my tennies and I’m sorta glad now. On the way down, my boots provided a lot of traction as my poor legs were barely under control. I kept saying “feets” don’t fail me now!
Continue reading Testing 1 2 3

Nice Guy

I bought a homeless guy dinner tonight at Taco Bell. He was polite, clean, and not at all pushy. He also looked me straight in the face and shook my hand. If he’d reeked of booze or been overly aggressive I would have simply told him no. Instead, he still found the time to have manners and be respectful, I admire that.

I didn’t mind he ordered two meals, one for now and one for later. It only cost me an extra $6.00 and he got a hot meal instead of belly full of booze.

In Case You Were Wondering…

The Doctor is back!

(full story) SCI FI Channel announced that it will air the third season of BBC’s Doctor Who, beginning in July. The new season will kick off with the Doctor Who Christmas special “The Runaway Bride,” guest-starring award-winning British comedy actress Catherine Tate.

In season three, David Tennant returns as the time-traveling Doctor, joined by a new companion, Martha Jones (Freema Agyeman). The first episode of the season is called “Smith and Jones.”

I almost wet my pants! I’ve been wondering if and when the new season would be back on the air. It will give me some much needed filler since BG isn’t due back until 2008. UGH!

Ooops

roblog called me today for some technical advice. His blog disappeared and was troubleshooting it. I had a few tricks up my sleeve but he’d thought of most of them already. It seems all his links and filed were intact however, his index pages were corrupt or gone. Turns out he was just out of server space.

He’d expressed displeasure with his current host and this was the final straw. He made the jump wordpress. If you’ve never seen his blog, hop over and check him out. Give him a big shout and and welcome to the wordpress clan.