Category: humor

You Wanna Stick That Where?

Well, since so many of you actually do read on weekends, I thought you’d get a kick out of this. The new roomie is all moved in. I sorta neglected to mention he has done porn in the past. I’ve known him so long I think I tend to subconsciously tune that part of his life out. *g* He is like a ‘sista’ to me so the thought of him naked isn’t exactly appealing. I’m white trash but lesbian sex is just revolting. LOLOL (j/k of course) For the record, he does have a rather manly sexy look. I wouldn’t touch him to scratch him.
🙂

On the way to do laundry today, I was cornered by one of my neighbors. A neighbor who normally maintains an aloofness during our brief interactions. Our conversation went something like this…

Neighbor: Hi Moby, How you doing?
Me: I’m doing fine

Neighbor: I noticed your new roommate moved in last night. Can I ask you something?
Me: Yeah, he is in, fire away.

(Insert look of confusion on how to phrase his next words)
Neighbor: Does your roommate do porn?
Me: Uh, yeah he has in the past, why?

Neighbor: OMG! Is he *** *****?
Me: Yeah, I think that’s right.

(very excited now)
Neighbor: Can you introduce us? I’m his biggest fan. I would be in your debt if you could arrange it.
Me: Uh…well, sure. Can I finish my laundry first?

(frown of disappointment)
Neighbor: Oh, of course. Here is my home # and my cell. Call me when you are done.
Me: Ok, well good to see you.

Neighbor: Oh yeah, good to see you too. You will call right? When you are done?
Me: Yes, I’ll give you a shout.

Lord! What have I got myself into?

Housekeeping?

So Chad Fox came over last night w/his cousin from Chi’town. Little did I know they were just trying to ‘shart’ up my furniture.

*mental note – put out furniture covers when bloggers visit*

Actually, he came by after I got off work to return my helmet. I gave Chaddie boy a ride home the other night to the bowels of Northbeach aka crackaville. Like a good little boy, I made him wear a helmet. But I had nowhere to put it afterwards so he was kind enough to drag it with him last night from bar to bar until I got off work.

And if I were anywhere remotely close to being a chickenhawk, I would have been all over his little cousin. Cute and sweet, what a combo. Fortunately, the only chicken I’m into comes from Tyson. Hell, I never liked young boys even when I was one.

Tag! You’re It II

While blogrolling, I discovered I’d been tagged again. This time by Steve over at Bent Collective. Not being a meme whore, I don’t do these very often. (I think someone else tagged me for another one but I can’t find it at the moment…apologies)

So w/o further “cradoo”, I present the Meme of 4.

4 JOBS I HAVE HAD IN MY LIFE

– I’ve had many but trying to pick the odd ones.

– a bath house clerk

– catering manager for a hotel

– police/fire/ems dispatcher

– EMT – ok, I’m still working on this one but it’s coming very soon!

Continue reading Tag! You’re It II

Only in SF II

I’m taking a break from studies. My hematomas’ are blending w/my hemothoraxes and we just can’t have that. I’d thought I’d share some funny tidbits encountered today.

Only in SF will you see:

… a gurl and girl exchanging makeup tips and discussing the cheapest places to buy MAC.

… a leather daddy, decked out in full leather, getting his nails done side by side w/Katy Sue, Surban Mom Extraordinaire AND they are having a conversation. (I couldn’t help but laugh.)

… a straight man giving a gay man tips on where to buy the best boots.

… a hardware store that sells lube.

… a guy wearing leather pants to the gym.

Not sure if that makes us a ‘gay mecca’ but it’s nice to know it exists.

I know I shouldn’t but I can’t help myself. I’ve noticed “Zig Zag” the new coffee/tea shop they put in place of Le BonGateaux isn’t doing so well. (Superstar, the video store next door bought it.) It’s been open almost 3 full weeks now and I’ve yet to see more than a few people inside at any given time. I know I shouldn’t make fun but I can’t help it. They took a wonderfully comfortable coffee shop and turned it into this empty (think “less is more”) cold space w/tacky colors and straight lines everywhere. What were they thinking? This isn’t Sunset Blvd, it’s the Castro. The only thing w/straight lines are the Dykes at Cliff’s Hardware!

Ok, enough venting. Back to my studies. I’m only up to H so far.

Only in SF

Trying to put myself in a better mood, I thoughd I’d share a funny occurence overheard on the subway this morning between two trannys.

Tranny1: Rambling about men and a breakup

Tranny2: don’t you know it.

Tranny1: I need a man!

Tranny2: No gurl! What you NEED is therapy!

It was a sorta ‘had to be there’ moment however, it was pure comedy when the little ancient looking asian lady sitting next to them burst out laughing and added “Oh Girls, it’s the men that need therapy!”

I laughed all the way home.