Category: ignunce

Sissy Boy

As usual, my buddy Brettcajun stirred up a hornet’s nest with his recent post.  He got quite a bit of fall out over it and attempted to cover with another post, which fell equally as flat. In a nut shell, Brett was ranting about how Kurt Hummell’s character [1]from the TV show Glee is a nelly limp-wristed sissy who deserved what he got because he couldn’t man-up and be a real man. The irony of the person doing the complaining was not lost on anyone mind you. *g*

Sadly, his feelings; however shameful and wrong they were, are not all that uncommon. For my .02, I think the problem is not only ignorance but our growling failure to understand the difference between being attracted to someone vs accepting of them. [2]Forgetting for a moment, our battle for equality started due in large part to these stereotypes.  Many of us fall prey to the foolish idea that to be accepted we have to conform and/or fit in. As if such behavior would make those who hate us hate us any less. That ideology has never worked so why it continues to flourish is anyone’s guess.

While ignorance can be forgiven, it can only be forgiven to a point. You cross the line when you go from disliking someone because they fit a stereotype you detest to actively condoning violence against them. Knowing Brett, I doubt he meant to encourage real harm but that doesn’t change the facts. He openly condoned violence against one of our own simply because said person was effeminate. This type of thinking simply cannot go unchallenged and uncorrected. TV character or not, we are seeing this same scenario play itself out all too often in real life in schools all over the nation. Even worse, some of the victims have turned to suicide to avoid being bullied. All because they are different. To his credit, Brett took his lumps. Quite a few of his commenters raked him over the coals and rightfully so.

A few commenters spoke up in support of Brett. Many of their arguments are the same reasons those who hate us continue to do so. Of course, you have to be able to see beyond your own short-sightedness and insecurities to see such an irony. Condoning violence against others because you hate qualities they represent [3]qualities we often hate in ourselves does not make you a man. If anything, it makes you a coward. And I will tell anyone, friend or foe, the same to their face.

Then there is the attraction issue. More and more, as a culture we are beginning to see attraction and acceptance as the same thing. In a desperate effort to fit-in and feel like we belong, we have begun to marginalize ourselves into sub-cultures based not only on attraction but acceptance. Whether it be twinkies, daddies, leather, drag, gym-bunnies, bears, etc, we lock ourselves into labels meant to free us. We then turn on those who don’t represent our now rigid view of how others should be based on our attraction. IMHO, this is a dangerous path that makes us no better than those who seek to deny us equality. While it can be expected, to a degree, in a culture as sexually obsessed as we are, it does not excuse said behavior.  Just because I happen to fit into one or more sub-cultures doesn’t mean I can now pass judgment on those who do not.

I may not be physically attracted to someone who is overly flamboyant or naturally effeminate but I will defend their right to be with my last breath. I will say this though. I’d sooner stand by their side than anyone who would seek to tear them down out of misplaced angst, fear, or ignorance.

References

References
↑1 from the TV show Glee
↑2 Forgetting for a moment, our battle for equality started due in large part to these stereotypes.
↑3 qualities we often hate in ourselves

Wanted

Isn’t it funny how people who normally don’t give you the time of day when you are single suddenly wanna be all up in your grill when you aren’t? I mean don’t get me wrong, I know guys always want what they can’t have, but some bitches are down right home-wreckers. Apple guy and I have had conversations on several occasions about the subject. heehee

I originally thought it was kinda funny, but now its kinda getting old. I had the odd luck of being off work early tonight. I’m walking thru the ghaytto to pick up some dinner when a guy [1]We’ll call him Ralphie for simplicity. I have completely forgotten his real name but he looks like a Ralphie to me. I’ve seen around for years suddenly grabs my arm while I’m passing bearbucks. Said guy moved here 4-5 years ago. We met randomly thru different friends a few times. Each time I was summarily dismissed as if I barely existed. I mean literally, it was all he could do to acknowledge my presence. I thought it was hilarious and filed him away in my “bless his heart” file.

Imagine my surprise tonight when I turn around to find he is the guy grabbing my arm. I found it funny how hard he tried to establish a sense of rapport between us. I wasn’t biting and politely said as much. I mentioned I wasn’t really interested as I already had a partner. It was then he made the fatal mistake of saying, “what does he have that I don’t?”  I replied, “well for one manners, and two, me!” and walked away. I was tempted to turn and see the look on his face but I didn’t.

Yes, I know it was probably a bit immature of me to take joy in his humiliation, but I can’t help it. Good looks does not excuse one’s behavior, so yeah I took a little personal joy in his comeuppance. And anyone who knows me knows I can’t stand arrogance. Cockiness is hot but arrogance is so 80’s.

References

References
↑1 We’ll call him Ralphie for simplicity. I have completely forgotten his real name but he looks like a Ralphie to me.

Surprise

Everyone seems ‘surprised’ by the recent events revolving around the teenage girl Constance, who was duped into going to a fake prom while everyone else went to a different one. Or that Derrick was kicked out by his parents for wanting something so simple and easy as taking his boyfriend to the prom. Really? You are surprised? What world have you been living in? Have we insulated ourselves behind our little bubbles (neighborhoods) that we have forgotten the harsh realities?

Just because I now live in the (make believe) mecca, I haven’t forgotten where I came from and what I went thru growing up. I have all the respect in the world for Constance and Derrick. They took the high road knowing it would create hardship. Granted they probably never realized how big it would become but still. They chose to stand-up and demand equality. They will go into adulthood with a sense of strength lacking in many of their classmates and be better for it.

The really surprising thing about this whole ordeal is that it took this long for it to come out (pun intended). How many of us over the years have gone thru the same or similar situation? I certainly knew I couldn’t bring my boyfriend to the prom way back when. [1]I didn’t go. I figured if I couldn’t bring who I really wanted, the hell with it.  Hell, they might have actually stoned me had I tried. These horrible ideals aren’t new or even surprising. As we become more visible in society more of our struggles will see the light of day. And while I can’t fault those who take the safe route in their lives, I can acknowledge and support those who do.

As the need for news and information has gone global, courtesy of the internet, people everywhere begin to see the harsh reality of what its sometimes like to grow up gay in America. We need to continue to focus on stories like this. We need to shine the light of day on those who would hide behind fear, ignorance, and religion to justify treating human beings less than human. The great thing about the ‘sensationalist’ approach a lot of media outlets have taken too these days is more of the crazies come forward and are exposed for exactly what they are.

References

References
↑1 I didn’t go. I figured if I couldn’t bring who I really wanted, the hell with it.

Lost

I had an altercation with a coworker this past week after I referred to the pope as evil incarnate. We are friends so she tried to cloak it under ‘be nice’. I knew that being a practicing catholic, she was offended. Too bad. There was a time when I tried to be accommodating of people’s religious beliefs. But, as I get older I just have less and less tolerance for bullshit. If you wanna align yourself with a bunch of make-believe nonsense that is your prerogative, but don’t expect me to tolerate your crap. And frankly, I am done being polite about it. All your sad pathetic excuses amount to nothing in the face of reality.

Christianity as an organization has become a self-obsessed, greedy, hate-mongering, evil, corporate entity bent on world domination. The sooner we get rid of it and start over, the better off we will be as a society. I fully admit there is still some good that comes from organized religion. [1]albeit very little or based on “conditions”.  That said, when your evil deeds and cover ups overshadow any good deeds performed, you lose any right to the moral high ground. If you are too stupid to see it, I’m not about to explain it to you. You clearly have bigger problems. And just because not everyone who claims the title doesn’t act that way doesn’t make it ok either. Your implicit denial or indifference makes you an accomplice to the atrocities continually being committed in the name of [insert name of deity of choice]. [2]and to be clear, I do believe in a higher power, just not one designed to control the masses out of fear.  Unlike being born gay, minority, female, etc you aren’t born christian. Being indoctrinated into a faith doesn’t mean you can’t use your effin’ head for something besides a hat-rack and walk away from it. Hiding behind the idea that you specifically don’t behave that way is just a sad attempt to not face the cold hard truth. Frankly, I’d be out-right ashamed to tell anyone if I was a christian in this day and age. I’ll go one step further and say my respect for you drops a notch or two when you admit it. I mean how believable is your ‘faith’ if you have to coop pagan rituals just to gain supporters?

When you step away and look outside in, the absurdity is grossly apparent. For most, this will fall on death deaf ears. I don’t really care. This is more for my benefit than yours. I’m not your role model and your choices in life are not my responsibility. But, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt when my life is over, I’ll be comfortable with my choices, mistakes, and atonements. Will you?

References

References
↑1 albeit very little or based on “conditions”.
↑2 and to be clear, I do believe in a higher power, just not one designed to control the masses out of fear.

Nasty

I was reminded today of how I still need to work on my temper at times. Granted, the incident wasn’t of my doing but I over reacted nonetheless.

I’m leaving the gym and this woman (obviously of the lesbian persuasion) slams into me as she is coming in. I was all prepared to be nice about it, expecting her apology, when I heard those two little words…”fucking faggot”.

Now in my mind, the southern black women welled up in me with, “oh no she dinnn’t!” However, the bastard in me [1]satan made me do it, I just know it! took over and before I had even ‘thunk’ it out flew the words, “what did you just call me you fucking fish-fry c*nt?” She was clearly not expecting it but it was already too late. She got two full minutes of Moby’s get-in-your-face, eyes slitted, make a sailor blush obscenities. Poor thing, before she even had a chance to counter, I had not only countered but also attacked and conquered. Needless to say, she stormed away in huff.

Looking back on it, I really don’t know why I got so upset. It was pointless and nothing was really solved by my behavior. I guess it was just so unexpected from one of my own, so to speak, I just reverted to defense mode. Irregardless, I’m a little embarrassed to admit I behaved so badly.

If anything, it shows I still have anger issues. I guess that will be one of my resolutions for the new year.

References

References
↑1 satan made me do it, I just know it!

Duh!

If you are wondering where the previous post went, I deleted it.  I made a vid this morning but forgot to turn the darn sound on.  I will try again later tonight after work. 

Stay tuned! [1]Thank god, I’m pretty right?

References

References
↑1 Thank god, I’m pretty right?

Still Kicking

Yeah, I’m still here I’ve just been a little busy lately and haven’t had much time to update da ole blog.  Let’s see, what have you missed?

I went down to LA over pride weekend to see the boy. I figured I’ve done pride every year for the last 7, I can miss one. Anyway, I had a very good time, to say the least. heehee I also took the opportunity to visit Universal Studios while I was there. I wasn’t overly impressed. Total tourist trap. To be fair, I didn’t visit the theme park area. That would have been more fun, I’m sure. The rest was just overpriced restaurants and trendy clothing/trinket shops. I can get that here. I did like the extra deep seats at the movie theater though. [1]I went to see the new Transformers. I liked it!

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The whole Michael Jackson hysteria has me disgusted. Forgetting how it has completely obliterated coverage of any real news, I’m always amazed how selective people’s memory can be. I wonder how adoring anyone would be had it been their child he molested? And please spare me the “he is innocent” speech. I was a huge fan up until the trials. Anyone who watched with more than a passing interest came away feeling his was guilty. And just try and explain to me how an innocent man accused of such a heinous crime(s) forks over $23 million to “settle” his good name. [2]And that was a different case. I wonder how many never made the papers? Yeah right!  And while I’m on my holier-than-thou horse, since when is musical talent carte blanche for a celebrity to commit crimes? I don’t have a problem w/people remembering him but lets try to keep to the truth vs fantasy. I find the similarities between the OJ & MJ trials amusing. OJ was also acquitted but everyone pointed believes he is guilty. Why is Michael Jackson any different? Is it because we dont’ want to believe? Or because our fragile egos can’t deal with the reality that popular celebrities are fallible human beings just like the rest of us.  /rant

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Work has been somewhat better as of late but still crazy busy. I’m referring to my Union duties of course. Regular work ebbs and flows constantly which is part of the reason I probably enjoy it so much. I mentioned a while back we saved our immediate jobs but there is still plenty of work to be done to make sure they stay secure. Not to mention, I still have my hands full w/daily complaints, representations, grievances, etc.  Busy busy busy.

On a side note, Thursday (my Friday) we got a misrouted VOIP call from my best friend from Houston’s hometown in Oklahoma. His hometown is only slightly larger than mine so one does not forget such things. I didn’t handle the call but it was pretty serious and it took some time just for us to track down the correct agency contact information. Contrary to belief, all PSAPs are not constantly connected.

Oh, and I am going back to 5-8’s mid month with Sat/Sun’s off. I’ll admit I was a little tempted to stay on a 4-10 shift this time. While I still struggle with my tight schedule, I’ve adjusted much better than last time. That said, my particular slot was taken so I opted to go back. I’m looking forward to longer mornings again so I can go back to longer workouts.

Speaking of working out, I’ve taken a couple weeks off from the gym, other than cardio. I strained my elbow tendon a while back and its been getting progressively worse. I need to give it some rest before I do serious damage and have to go thru some of the drama my buddy Rob did. He had to take over 6 months off from the gym. I have no desire to do that to myself by being hard-headed.

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The new roomie is completely moved in now. He seems to be adjusting well and so far its been great having him around. Even better, he paid rent w/o having to be asked! I know, shocker right? The old roomie and I still stay in touch. We were friends before being roomies and that will continue. He seems intent on staying in NYC even though he still hasn’t found work yet. I wish him luck even if I do still miss his drama at times.

I could go on and on but TiVo is calling and I’m still 4 levels away from beating the latest version of Prince of Persia on the Xbox 360. Yes, I’m still a geek. Oh, and I have some drama about the latest moto ride to share when I have more time.

References

References
↑1 I went to see the new Transformers. I liked it!
↑2 And that was a different case. I wonder how many never made the papers?

Color Me Crazy

As if the drama last night wasn’t enough, I got called a ‘crazy racist’ online today because I wasn’t attracted to a guy sexually. Not the first time and probably not the last. Here is our conversation.

Him: Nice profile and pics, wanna come f*ck me?

Me: Hey bud, I appreciate the offer but not really a match for me. Happy Hunting.

Him: Why don’t you just admit your crazy racist ass-hole. You make me sick. [1]I got a little annoyed here and my reply could have been worded better, I’m sure.

Me: Wait. Because, I’m not attracted to you, I’m a racist asshole? And first you want me to fuck you but then I make you sick? Which is it? I could have just hit the delete button like a lot of guys on here. I took the time to politely say, “no thanks” and I’m the asshole? So, in that vein of thought, what I should have said is, “no thanks, your fugly”. Would that have been better? Do me a favor, don’t project your inability to handle rejection onto me.

Him: *I got a follow up reply but I deleted it without opening it.*

Like I said, I could have handled it better by just ignoring his pissy email. That’s my shit and I own it, moving on. Keeping in mind here, there are no racial references for or against anywhere in any of my profile(s). This leap of logic on his part was unfounded and completely out of line.

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So, to beat this horse properly we first need to identify several important but often lost distinctions. First, there is the very real existence of racism. Right behind that comes ignorance/indifference. And bringing up the rear (pun intended) is physical attraction (or not) to certain physical traits common to one race or another.

I am not so foolish to think racism is gone in America. Quite the contrary, some of the nasty fallout over our new president shows it is still very much alive. This makes absolutely no sense to me. Forgetting for a moment the races are blending more and more with every generation, dismissing a whole section of society based solely on their race is offensive and can be classified as racism.

In relation to the gay community, I don’t think it is out and out racism as much as ignorance. [2]I am not excusing it, just stating an observation. I can’t tell you how often I see profiles with “not into Blacks or Asians.” You may not intend to be offensive but that is exactly what you are doing by making such statements. Imagine how you’d feel reading a profile of someone you found attractive and they dismissed your entire existence based on your race. I particularly love how some guys try to apologize at the same time for saying such things. If you have to apologize perhaps you shouldn’t say it. How about you just leave it out. Nothing compels you to reply, meet, or hookup with anyone you don’t wish to. Why add such inflammatory language to your profile? [3]Out of fairness, there was a time when I made this awful mistake. I am happy to say that was well over 10 years ago.

Of course, when it comes to sex you can’t force physical attraction or the lack thereof. Attraction, like our sexuality, is not always a quantifiable behavior. For the purpose of this rant, I am referring specifically to attraction and race. And herein lies the most important distinction I feel is often lost on so many. Not being attracted to a physical trait(s) common to one race or another is not racism. From my own observations, I think this is often the real root of the matter but given the ignorance mentioned above, the line quickly becomes blurred. Want a sure fire way to know? Its quite simple. If you really have no racial hang-ups, you will find that there are always exceptions to your attraction (or lack) to a particular race.

For myself, I rarely think in term of absolutes so saying I’m not into a whole race would be a lie. I have my range and it commonly crosses the races. I’ll also admit there are some physical traits common to some races I am not attracted to. And while this is a racial issue it is only in the sense of physical attraction. However, that is never an absolute either. I don’t give a rats ass what color your skin is, if I like what you have to offer and you flop it in front of me, I’m gonna taste it. Or, if I don’t, I won’t.

References

References
↑1 I got a little annoyed here and my reply could have been worded better, I’m sure.
↑2 I am not excusing it, just stating an observation.
↑3 Out of fairness, there was a time when I made this awful mistake. I am happy to say that was well over 10 years ago.

Hysterical

Does anyone else find it oddly amusing that the religious F&F’s [1]fundamentalists and fanatics selectively pick and choose disasters to blame on gays?  Several of the crazy sites (of which I will never link to here) are blaming the current financial crisis and resulting company failures on gays.  Wha-wha-what?  Gays caused the financial meltdown in our country? 

I particularly like how they liken our influence to total control yet we still don’t have basic rights in most of the Union.  I mean if our control was that iron clad wouldn’t we already have equal protections?  Oh right, God is keeping us in check.  I get it, blame the deity of choice as to avoid rational thought and common sense. 

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I just finished watching the VP debate.  So basically Palin is considered a success because she didn’t stick her foot in her mouth?  Or at least that is what the political pundits on CNN think.  The VP is second in line for the presidency and we rate her a success on making it thru a debate w/o a major blunder?   My my, what high standards we have. 

I came away feeling that Palin has good memorization skills and looks good on camera.  As a VP she would pretty much be a figurehead that does what she is told.  Not necessarily a bad thing for a VP however, the though of her stepping into the presidency makes me shudder.  And while Biden didn’t particularly wow me, I felt he had a firmer grasp on reality and is much more qualified to be the VP.  I particularly liked his phrasing on gay rights.  While he said he didn’t support gay marriage, his phrasing clearly indicates he was referring to it in a religious sense not a civil rights sense.  Very well said in my opinion.  

References

References
↑1 fundamentalists and fanatics

McCain Still a Hypocrit

McCain Never Returned Cash from former Manhunt Chairman

While I’m still on my high horse…

So not only did they not return the money but Crutchley is still working for MH even if he is no longer on the board. He still owns a significant share of the company and not being “on the board” was window dressing to appease us so we would blithely turn away and keep looking for our next hookup.

/rant