Moby Files: Blog

I often talk about the goals and ideals that have become important to me. My “moby-ism” today is one that I work on often. Most folks who know me would say I come across pretty confident. And in many ways I am. I’m very confident in my abilities and skills. I’m a quick study and excel at most things I take an interest in. However, it is my inner confidence that is lacking at times. I’ll skip all the yada yada about my childhood. We’ve all been there done that right?

I often battle w/a lack of confidence in myself. Thanks in part to a certain blogger, I’m discovering it’s not so much my lack of confidence but how I value myself that needs adjustment. I frequently see qualities in others that I admire and value greatly. Qualities I myself possess. Maybe not as refined at times but still there. I’m a little bit shocked it’s taken me this long to see the distinction.

Realization is not enough obviously. However, I see it as a milestone in my attempts to overcome my shortcomings.

“This house is clean!” Ok the house isn’t but I’m feeling much better. As expected, after my bout w/Satan and my quick choice to exercise him, I’m back on the mend. Still a little quesy but oh so much better overall. Thanks to everyone for the well wishes.

I did get a new mattress yesterday. I wanted a Spring Air but they are so damn pricey I couldn’t afford it. Instead I opted for a Simmons Beauty Rest. The firm version w/a plush top. It is truly amazing what a good mattress can do for your sleep. I slept thru the whole night w/o waking up tossing/turning once. I woke up feeling very refreshed and w/o the usual stiffness. My debt had to take a hit but that’s ok. I knew it was coming, I’d just been putting it off. I went thru Sleeptrain here in SF. I think they are a chain. When I called, the guy was way more friendly than some of the other vendors I’d already spoken with. He went overboard making sure I understood the difference between types and brands. And they delivered free of charge the same day! You can’t beat that w/a stick!

Oh! My phone came yesterday too. After Kenucky Tim came over and brought me some soup, I felt good enough to trek off to get some errands done. (The domestic chores are still waiting for me. Ugh!) It put me in a good mood though. I came home and started tinkering w/it of course. Tim was like “ok, I can see I’m not wanted anymore” and split. Bless his heart, he was such a saint for bringing me food. He walked 10 blocks to do it too. He also cleaned up my apt a bit. (Besides being a big baby, I’m hella messy when I get sick. Dishes, clothes everywhere!)

Today, I’m taking it easy. I’m going to the gym but taking it easy. I think I’ll just do some light cardio. Don’t wanna over do it. Sadly, I still have chores to do. (No, I’m not procrastinating, why do you say that? :P) I have another busy week coming up so can’t afford not to put’em off. *sigh*

So my muggy mood turned into the night from hell. I think I got salmonella or food poisoning. My back had been bothering me all day and then my stomach started acting up. I came home, took a nap, and woke up to a high fever and projectile vomit. I often tease people “I got demons all in me.” Well last night, I think it was true.

Having had a horrible case of salmonella poisoning quite a few years ago, I think it left me some antibodies. Instead of getting full blown sick w/all the fatigue and vomiting for days (sometimes weeks) on end, I get sick, throw it all up, and then improve rapidly. I’m just guessing here but I’m grateful. One thing is for sure, I don’t wanna go thru another night like last night.

Add to that, I have shittiest lumpiest mattress known to man. I had to get up and come sleep on the couch. I’ve been putting off buying a new mattress. Not anymore! Once I’m a tad more recovered (yeah I know it’s not good grammar), I’m getting my ass over to the mattress store, TODAY! Actually, Kentucky Tim is bringing me some soup. He needs to get some errands done too. Maybe that’ll motivate me to get off my ass.

Wish me luck.