Category: humor

You Wanna Stick That Where?

Well, since so many of you actually do read on weekends, I thought you’d get a kick out of this. The new roomie is all moved in. I sorta neglected to mention he has done porn in the past. I’ve known him so long I think I tend to subconsciously tune that part of his life out. *g* He is like a ‘sista’ to me so the thought of him naked isn’t exactly appealing. I’m white trash but lesbian sex is just revolting. LOLOL (j/k of course) For the record, he does have a rather manly sexy look. I wouldn’t touch him to scratch him.
🙂

On the way to do laundry today, I was cornered by one of my neighbors. A neighbor who normally maintains an aloofness during our brief interactions. Our conversation went something like this…

Neighbor: Hi Moby, How you doing?
Me: I’m doing fine

Neighbor: I noticed your new roommate moved in last night. Can I ask you something?
Me: Yeah, he is in, fire away.

(Insert look of confusion on how to phrase his next words)
Neighbor: Does your roommate do porn?
Me: Uh, yeah he has in the past, why?

Neighbor: OMG! Is he *** *****?
Me: Yeah, I think that’s right.

(very excited now)
Neighbor: Can you introduce us? I’m his biggest fan. I would be in your debt if you could arrange it.
Me: Uh…well, sure. Can I finish my laundry first?

(frown of disappointment)
Neighbor: Oh, of course. Here is my home # and my cell. Call me when you are done.
Me: Ok, well good to see you.

Neighbor: Oh yeah, good to see you too. You will call right? When you are done?
Me: Yes, I’ll give you a shout.

Lord! What have I got myself into?

Housekeeping?

So Chad Fox came over last night w/his cousin from Chi’town. Little did I know they were just trying to ‘shart’ up my furniture.

*mental note – put out furniture covers when bloggers visit*

Actually, he came by after I got off work to return my helmet. I gave Chaddie boy a ride home the other night to the bowels of Northbeach aka crackaville. Like a good little boy, I made him wear a helmet. But I had nowhere to put it afterwards so he was kind enough to drag it with him last night from bar to bar until I got off work.

And if I were anywhere remotely close to being a chickenhawk, I would have been all over his little cousin. Cute and sweet, what a combo. Fortunately, the only chicken I’m into comes from Tyson. Hell, I never liked young boys even when I was one.

Tag! You’re It II

While blogrolling, I discovered I’d been tagged again. This time by Steve over at Bent Collective. Not being a meme whore, I don’t do these very often. (I think someone else tagged me for another one but I can’t find it at the moment…apologies)

So w/o further “cradoo”, I present the Meme of 4.

4 JOBS I HAVE HAD IN MY LIFE

– I’ve had many but trying to pick the odd ones.

– a bath house clerk

– catering manager for a hotel

– police/fire/ems dispatcher

– EMT – ok, I’m still working on this one but it’s coming very soon!

Continue reading Tag! You’re It II

Only in SF II

I’m taking a break from studies. My hematomas’ are blending w/my hemothoraxes and we just can’t have that. I’d thought I’d share some funny tidbits encountered today.

Only in SF will you see:

… a gurl and girl exchanging makeup tips and discussing the cheapest places to buy MAC.

… a leather daddy, decked out in full leather, getting his nails done side by side w/Katy Sue, Surban Mom Extraordinaire AND they are having a conversation. (I couldn’t help but laugh.)

… a straight man giving a gay man tips on where to buy the best boots.

… a hardware store that sells lube.

… a guy wearing leather pants to the gym.

Not sure if that makes us a ‘gay mecca’ but it’s nice to know it exists.

I know I shouldn’t but I can’t help myself. I’ve noticed “Zig Zag” the new coffee/tea shop they put in place of Le BonGateaux isn’t doing so well. (Superstar, the video store next door bought it.) It’s been open almost 3 full weeks now and I’ve yet to see more than a few people inside at any given time. I know I shouldn’t make fun but I can’t help it. They took a wonderfully comfortable coffee shop and turned it into this empty (think “less is more”) cold space w/tacky colors and straight lines everywhere. What were they thinking? This isn’t Sunset Blvd, it’s the Castro. The only thing w/straight lines are the Dykes at Cliff’s Hardware!

Ok, enough venting. Back to my studies. I’m only up to H so far.