Month: March 2009

Doh!

I have a little confession to make.  I sorta met someone recently.  No, not the beefy guy. Actually, I met this guy before the beefy guy but only off and on and mostly in the carnal sense. While on the beefy side as well, he has more of a humpy corn fed look. [1]Not to mention, an ass so plump and juicy it would make you sit up and beg.  I’m sure I don’t need to fill in the details.  I’ll just say we seemed to be a good “fit”.  And with the beefy guy out of the picture, corn fed boy has been a nice distraction, to say the least.

We’ve spent about 5 nights together off/on over the last 2 weeks. I know, shame on me for not spilling the beans earlier.  With everything else as of late, I just didn’t get around to blabbing about it, sue me.  Plus, as I said, things weren’t serious.  However, I was beginning to get the impression things might take a more serious route.  Well that is until tonight.  After a very hot couple rounds of sex, he tells me he has been seeing someone else and has to stop playing around with me. WTF?  I guess things are getting a little more serious with the other guy.  Talk about a kick in the teeth. 

I can handle him choosing the other guy over me, but his total selfish approach hit me a bit wrong. To add insult to injury, I had invited him to a party with me tonight. [2]Rob, sorry I didn’t make it.  Obviously, that didn’t happen. My mood was a bit soured so I ended up sitting at home polishing off a box of girl scout cookies, a chicken/cheese bagel, and two cups of pudding.

I’m over it now.  The good news is I’ll make it to the gym nice and early tomorrow to work off the billion calories I consumed tonight. 

As the ever famous Hateful Helen would say, “NEXT!”

References

References
↑1 Not to mention, an ass so plump and juicy it would make you sit up and beg.
↑2 Rob, sorry I didn’t make it.

Color Me Crazy

As if the drama last night wasn’t enough, I got called a ‘crazy racist’ online today because I wasn’t attracted to a guy sexually. Not the first time and probably not the last. Here is our conversation.

Him: Nice profile and pics, wanna come f*ck me?

Me: Hey bud, I appreciate the offer but not really a match for me. Happy Hunting.

Him: Why don’t you just admit your crazy racist ass-hole. You make me sick. [1]I got a little annoyed here and my reply could have been worded better, I’m sure.

Me: Wait. Because, I’m not attracted to you, I’m a racist asshole? And first you want me to fuck you but then I make you sick? Which is it? I could have just hit the delete button like a lot of guys on here. I took the time to politely say, “no thanks” and I’m the asshole? So, in that vein of thought, what I should have said is, “no thanks, your fugly”. Would that have been better? Do me a favor, don’t project your inability to handle rejection onto me.

Him: *I got a follow up reply but I deleted it without opening it.*

Like I said, I could have handled it better by just ignoring his pissy email. That’s my shit and I own it, moving on. Keeping in mind here, there are no racial references for or against anywhere in any of my profile(s). This leap of logic on his part was unfounded and completely out of line.

*

So, to beat this horse properly we first need to identify several important but often lost distinctions. First, there is the very real existence of racism. Right behind that comes ignorance/indifference. And bringing up the rear (pun intended) is physical attraction (or not) to certain physical traits common to one race or another.

I am not so foolish to think racism is gone in America. Quite the contrary, some of the nasty fallout over our new president shows it is still very much alive. This makes absolutely no sense to me. Forgetting for a moment the races are blending more and more with every generation, dismissing a whole section of society based solely on their race is offensive and can be classified as racism.

In relation to the gay community, I don’t think it is out and out racism as much as ignorance. [2]I am not excusing it, just stating an observation. I can’t tell you how often I see profiles with “not into Blacks or Asians.” You may not intend to be offensive but that is exactly what you are doing by making such statements. Imagine how you’d feel reading a profile of someone you found attractive and they dismissed your entire existence based on your race. I particularly love how some guys try to apologize at the same time for saying such things. If you have to apologize perhaps you shouldn’t say it. How about you just leave it out. Nothing compels you to reply, meet, or hookup with anyone you don’t wish to. Why add such inflammatory language to your profile? [3]Out of fairness, there was a time when I made this awful mistake. I am happy to say that was well over 10 years ago.

Of course, when it comes to sex you can’t force physical attraction or the lack thereof. Attraction, like our sexuality, is not always a quantifiable behavior. For the purpose of this rant, I am referring specifically to attraction and race. And herein lies the most important distinction I feel is often lost on so many. Not being attracted to a physical trait(s) common to one race or another is not racism. From my own observations, I think this is often the real root of the matter but given the ignorance mentioned above, the line quickly becomes blurred. Want a sure fire way to know? Its quite simple. If you really have no racial hang-ups, you will find that there are always exceptions to your attraction (or lack) to a particular race.

For myself, I rarely think in term of absolutes so saying I’m not into a whole race would be a lie. I have my range and it commonly crosses the races. I’ll also admit there are some physical traits common to some races I am not attracted to. And while this is a racial issue it is only in the sense of physical attraction. However, that is never an absolute either. I don’t give a rats ass what color your skin is, if I like what you have to offer and you flop it in front of me, I’m gonna taste it. Or, if I don’t, I won’t.

References

References
↑1 I got a little annoyed here and my reply could have been worded better, I’m sure.
↑2 I am not excusing it, just stating an observation.
↑3 Out of fairness, there was a time when I made this awful mistake. I am happy to say that was well over 10 years ago.

Tragedy

In case you haven’t heard, 3 police officers were shot/killed today in Oakland.  One other officer is in very grave condition.  I can’t express the shame, sadness, and anger rolling through at the moment.  The suspect was also shot and killed. 

I need to stop now before I say things I will regret.

Rough & Tumble

This week has started off a bit rough.  I had another bout of insomnia Sunday night so didn’t fall asleep until almost 4 am.  Needless to say, I didn’t make it to the gym on Monday.  I was dead tired on my feet yesterday but a friend was in town from Denver and I really wanted to see him so ended up going out after work.  I didn’t stay out long though.  At one point, I was nodding off while he was talking to me! I came home and didn’t even turn on the computer.  I think I was asleep 5 mins after my head hit the pillow. 

I had a good workout today but it went a little long and I was almost late to work.  Didn’t get time to stop and pick up healthy food either.  Luckily, work had a St Paddy’s feed and we had plenty of fresh corned beef, cabbage, tators, and carrots.  YUM!  I feel like a big ole tick about now. 

So far, I’ve been handling the longer work schedule better than last time.  My gym schedule has suffered a bit over the last couple weeks but I’m trying to get back on track. [1]I was particularly lazy this past weekend, I didn’t go once  I tend to rebel mentally when I’m constantly on the go. I don’t like it and I find after a while I just get in a “I ain’t doing shit” sort of mood.  But, as TFA would say, it is what it is.  I just need to suck it up and get back on track.  I did both Chest & Tri’s today and pushed myself to finish.  I had to drop the last set but only due to time constraints. 

*

People have been asking about Beefy boy. I didn’t hear from him all week or over the weekend.  I got an email on FB yesterday.  He had to go back to Hawaii for personal reasons.  He says he’ll be back.  In this economy, I’m not so sure.

*

And while I can be forgiven for forgetting a get-together on Sunday, my behavior towards another guy this past weekend isn’t so easy to forgive.  I mentioned a few posts back, I “met” a guy recently who really wanted to go on a date.  He was fun and I figured it would be worthwhile.  Anyway, he emailed me a couple times last week trying to arrange some time together.  I replied I’d be interested.  However, the weekend arrived and I just totally didn’t feel like it.  Like a turd, I didn’t follow up.  Granted this was only a booty-call scenario and we hadn’t set anything definite, but I still feel like a schmuck.  I could have emailed or even picked up the phone.  I hate when guys flake on me so I definitely know better.  I got an email from him early yesterday.  He was a bit peeve’d, rightfully so.  I called him back but he was at work.  I called again later but he didn’t answer, I left a message.  I apologized for my behavior and explained a bit but the reasons don’t really matter.  I was a jerk, I own it.  If he doesn’t call me back, I’ll completely understand.  If the situation were reversed, I might not call him either. 

On the up-side, I have some fun time arranged with a regular buddy tonight.  Maybe it ill help get me out of my funk. 

References

References
↑1 I was particularly lazy this past weekend, I didn’t go once

Ooops

I was supposed to meet up with a blog reader who is in town today and like an idiot I totally spaced it.  Good lord, I feel about as tall as an ant hill right now.  I hate when people are no-shows so I make an effort NOT to be a flake. 

Even worse, he sent me a very polite email afterwards. Not a hint of anger or resentment.  Nice, but I feel even more like a heel now.  Ugh! 

I can be very absent-minded about things, especially appointments.  To prevent myself from spacing, I usually write everything in my calendar. [1]Its the first page I visit on the computer in the morning to remind myself of things.  Naturally, I didn’t add my little get together today. The irony here is something has been nagging me at the back of my mind all day.  poof!  Now I know.

Anyway, I called him and he graciously agreed try again.  God love’em for putting up with me.

 

*Update* – we met up later in the evening and had a great time talking over dinner.

References

References
↑1 Its the first page I visit on the computer in the morning to remind myself of things.

Be Gone With You

Well, its official.  The roomie moved out tonight.  I dropped him off at the airport around 09:30 pm.  For all his drama and annoying habits, I must admit I was a little teary-eyed.  We’ve known each other since I was in my early 20’s and our living together these last few years has made our friendship stronger.  I bitch and moan about him sometimes, but I really will miss him.

Regardless of his reasons, I wish him well.  I hope he finally finds somewhere where he feels like he belongs.  He hasn’t really liked SF for a couple years now. [1]Not to mention, that bitch has done gone clean thru all the men here. lol  I think our living arrangement is the only thing that kept him here so long. 

I found out last week he also split up with “Ty” again.  I guess Ty doesn’t want to move to NY.  I don’t really think either one of them was in it for the long haul, but that’s just my two cents.  They seem to be holding onto a fragile friendship at the moment.  Who knows how it will turn out. 

I’m still hoping the roomie’s previous ex will decide to move in.  As I mentioned, I know him somewhat and would be comfortable with him living here.  If he doesn’t I think I’ll hold off a few months to start looking.  Maybe an opportunity will present itself.  If not, I’ll have to start looking cold-turkey. [2]An option I’m not too keen on.  I have no desire to live with a complete stranger.  Time will tell I guess. 

References

References
↑1 Not to mention, that bitch has done gone clean thru all the men here. lol
↑2 An option I’m not too keen on.  I have no desire to live with a complete stranger.

Stimulating…

Well, I’m doing my part to “stimulate” the economy.  I just received my new laptop today.  I decided to go with something a tad lighter this time.  I read some great reviews for the Lenovo Y650 series.  I’ve never owned a Lenovo. [1]IBM sold them their laptop division a few years back.  I can tell you this sucker is super slim & light.  I lost an inch of screen real estate but so far I’m not missing it! 

It also arrived a day early so I got a nice surprise this morning.  heh heh  I noticed right off how small the box was and was a bit confused thinking I must have ordered something else and just forgotten. 

I’m definitely impressed so far.  True to its description it has a very slim profile.  My laptop bag feels almost empty now when I’m carrying it. lol  Even better, I get a free upgrade to the full version of Windows 7 when it comes out later this year!  I think I mentioned I have the beta version on win7 on my old lappie right now.  I’ve gotten a little spoiled actually.  Win7 is all the things Vista should have been, IMHO.  I highly recommend upgrading when you can. 

Oh and I switched to a 64-bit OS.  The reason being the 64-bit version doesn’t have the memory cap on RAM like the 32-bit version does. 

The old Dell lappie is still in excellent shape.  I haven’t decided if I want to sell it or not.  TFA expressed an interest so we’ll see.  I’m currently transferring stuff from it to the new one.  I’ve had a NAS for years now and am getting better and better at using it as my primary storage.  Makes things a lot easier when transferring files. 

Anyway, so far I’m loving the new one.  Hopefully, it will stay that way. 

References

References
↑1 IBM sold them their laptop division a few years back.

Forlorn

I had to call off the 2nd date with the Beefy guy from the gym today.  I wasn’t feeling too hot and didn’t think barfing on him would be attractive. 

It started last night.  My tummy was a little upset and making weird noises, even for me.  This morning I woke up feeling icky as all hell and tried to seduce the pain away by going back to sleep.  Noon roles around and I crawl from the crypt only feeling slightly less icky. 

The day wears on and I make the best of it.  I did make it out for a couple small errands an a Starbucks run.  Late afternoon finds me squatting over the porcelain god blowing chucks for Jesus.  Two hours later my low-grade fever breaks.  An hour after that I feel almost right as rain and hungry!  Fast forward one more hour and you find me inhaling a burrito, a taco, and leftover brussel sprouts. [1]I know, not the best combo

Currently, I’m propped up in bed with the laptop killing off my future children in my loins.  I’m gonna play F.E.A.R. 2 for a while and then call it a day. 

*

Oh, I think I also offended a friend today.  He asked me a question and I didn’t really censure my response.  He got both barrels of my blunt opinion.  I didn’t mean to come off so crass.  Oh well, I’ll apologize tomorrow. 

References

References
↑1 I know, not the best combo