Category: ignunce

Straight Dude

Ugh, I’m so over our every increasing need to make straights into secret gays. Every day there is some new tag-line or nonsense story about “straight dudes having gay sex but they are totally straight, gay for pay, brojobs, on the DL, straight but curious, etc”. It’s all nonsense. 

Newsflash! If you’re having gay sex, regardless of the reasons, you aren’t entirely straight. Our sensationalist style media doesn’t help either. They know coining it this way leads to more ad-clicks. Greed is king.  But calling yourself “straight” or performing linguistic gymnastics doesn’t change the truth. If you’re putting your cock in another dude, for any reason including money, you’re a “little bit gay.” Society may help you repress or ignore it but it’s still there.
To quote Gore Vidal, “Trust a nitwit society like this one to think that there are only two categories — gay and straight” [1]He actually said “fag” but the quote gets cleaned up from time to time  Our genetics makes us incredibly varied in our forms and behaviors. Why we cling to this idea that we can only be gay or straight is beyond me, especially now. Don’t even get me started on the whole straight fetish scene either. I get it, for some it is the allure that ‘straight’ dudes are somehow more masculine. Whatever pops your cork, but don’t for a minute think you are fooling anyone.

To be fair, we do see more folks admitting they are sexually fluid these days, Sexually fluid is just another term for being bisexual but if it makes it sound nicer, who am I to argue? 

It is natural for us to label things and people. Labels help our brains process and identify our reality. It makes everything “more real” in our minds. However, we also have something called logic and reason. Don’t fall for these silly attempts at pretense. Own it. Be your most authentic self. And don’t fall for the idea you have to identify as this or that to feel more accepted. If you’re mostly ‘straight’ but occassionaly like a little d*ck on the side, own it. Don’t pretend a very real part of you doesn’t exist and don’t try to ignore it. Our id will not be ignored. It will come out at some point, and often not in a good way. Be whatever makes you feel happiest and/or the most fulfilled. Don’t fall for these shameful scams at avoiding being labeled gay. It discredits our right to be. There isn’t anything wrong with being gay or straight or anywhere in between. Being gay doesn’t make you less manly or masculine anymore than being straight makes you more so. And if you feel the need to avoid the label, ask yourself why?  It might help you face your own demons. Regardless, we owe it to ourselves not to reinforce these stereotypes. 

/rant 

References

References
↑1 He actually said “fag” but the quote gets cleaned up from time to time

IG: Blocked

So in my continuing fascination with IG [1]Instagram, I got blocked yesterday by a guy I follow. Me and my southern sensibilities are to blame. *giggle*

This guy posts lots of scantily clad photos of himself (and his hubby) on a daily basis. And to be fair, he is rather handsome. I mean it is was pretty much the reason I followed him in the first place. hehehe IG is 70% motivation for the gym for me. I follow a lot of bodybuilders. This particular guy isn’t a BB but still very lean and muscled. We’ve chatted very briefly a maybe 2 or 3 times via the message function. We don’t know each other but seemed to have friendly banter in common. And to be fair to him, none of his photos are overly expressive. They are often very suggestive though.

Anyhoo, he’d taken to ranting about all the requests he gets for nudes and other graphic comments in the last couple weeks. *scratching my head* Don’t get me wrong, sending someone you starfish uninvited is pretty brazen, but asking for nudes is pretty harmless. I mean you don’t have to send them or even reply. I personally never asked but I sure as hell don’t act all butt-hurt [2]see what I did there! when someone asks. And if you send me nudes or your starfish uninvited, you just get ignored.

I sent him what I thought was a humorous message about his rant and how it was a little unfair to complain. He didn’t reply, he just blocked me. heehee Don’t get me wrong, I’m not upset. I’m just pointing out the hypocrisy of it. I mean hello, it’s IG! You can’t acted shocked or surprised when folks ask for more of what you’re teasing with. Last time I checked, asking for something was considered good manners. Silly me and my crazy sense of logic, right?

*

I block folks all the time for being abusive, rude, posting ads or the guaranteed follower nonsense. Beyond that, I usually just ignore the rest. However, I did get accused of being an ‘impostor’ recently. The secret to IG is the hastags. Apparently, people often search out tags and if you tag enough, you get more traffic. I never search tags but I understand the appeal. Anyway, I use several fitness tags on many of my gym selfies and I guess said fellow felt because I wasn’t buff enough I was somehow an impostor. Uh, OK. I ignored his silly message until he started sending curse words over and over. He got reported and blocked at that point. So while I see the need for the feature at times, being a tease and then being angry people want and ask for more is childish.

I know, I know I shouldn’t complain about things I’m powerless to control. Shawn would probably scold me for messaging him in the first place, but I couldn’t help it. [3]He is even more pragmatic than I am And I did try to be funny about it. I wasn’t trying to be rude or condescending. Oh well, N E X T…..!

References

References
↑1 Instagram
↑2 see what I did there!
↑3 He is even more pragmatic than I am

IG: Removed

So I had 2 pictures posted to IG [1]Instagram removed a couple weeks ago. For the life of me, I’m not sure why. First, they were reported, it wasn’t just some random bot. Second, while they were of me in my underwear, nothing untoward was going on. You could have called them R-rated only because you could see my crotch but even that wasn’t ‘flashy’, nothing see thru, no vpl [2]visible penis line, and no arousal. I guess the simple bulge was just too much for the moderator, who removed them. Lol

I had originally posted them to show off my leg growth. I see way more skimpy pics on IG everyday. Hell, half the dudes I follow are because they post revealing stuff!  Anyway, I wasn’t upset. I mean I was a little, but I didn’t go on some long tirade about the unfairness of it all. It isn’t my site so I don’t get to make the rules; however arbitrarily they are enforced. That said, everything I post to IG gets posted to my photoblog as well. If you follow me on both, it’s always there. I might have relented on having total control of my ramblings, but I doubt I’ll ever give it up completely. 

If you read with regularity, you know I’m not a fan of censorship. You’re contrived offense is just another way of saying you don’t like it. Here’s a clue, don’t effin’ follow me then.  As for me, I’ll keep posting whatever I feel like. I gave up worring about other people’s delicate sensibilities years ago. I don’t even worry about my coworkers anymore. They know me well enough to know I’m TMI sometimes. That doesn’t change when I’m NOT at work!  If they follow, they do so because they are adults. I never post nudity or porn so they have little to fear in that regard. And, if you can’t handle a crotch shot, you lead a very sheltered life IMO. 

I guess I’m legit now though. Lol  I mean if people aren’t hatin’ on you you aren’t doing it right, right? [3] see what I did there lol  It’s part of why I’m withdrawing from social media sites more and more. It’s been a blessing for my moods and peace of mind these last few weeks. 

References

References
↑1 Instagram
↑2 visible penis line
↑3 see what I did there lol

Recovery

I’ve been avoiding social media and most of the news these last few days. It’s all been so depressing and sad I just needed a chance to recover before I dove back into it all. And on queue, everyone is jockeying for the moral superiority. What a total turn off. Ugh. [1]I know this article is probably too long to hold the attention of most folks so I won’t bother with the ‘long rant ahead’ admonishment. I mean even the headline is devoid of … Continue reading

Believe it or not, some of my readers are/were Donald supporters.  I know, crazy right? I make no bones about supporting mostly democrats these days. It isn’t because I’m a hard core party line groupy, they just often make the most sense and/or are will do less damage based on the choices given. I was an ardent (and still am) Hillary supporter. She would have been good for this country, all the rhetoric notwithstanding. She had her issues that concerned me, but so does our current President. Anyway, I got a few snarky humble-brag emails from a couple of aforementioned readers. My response to them is my response to all, “careful what you wish for, because once you get it, you’re stuck with it.” In this case, we are stuck with Donald for at least 4 years. Watching the disaster that is his transition has been both hilarious and frightening. These clowns can’t even manage a transition and yet magically we expect them to manage a country, foreign affairs, the national budget. Really? 

I hope we recover from this. I’m a pretty optimistic person but I see this as sign of bad things to come. I truly hope I’m wrong. And unlike everyone trying to point fingers, I don’t blame the people who voted. I don’t blame the people who voted for Donald, Jill, or Gary. At least they got off their asses and voted. They exercised their right to help determine their future. And while it certainly played a role, I don’t blame the voter id laws or the clowns trying to intimidate voters at polling places. It is arguable that without these influences Hillary might have won. Now imagine if half of the non-voting voters had actually gone to the polls. A mere 25% of the absent voting publc would have changed everything. It would have offset all the attempts above and then some. How do I know this? Statistics don’t lie. Statistics repeatedly show lower voter turnouts benefit the republicans. Even with all the shenanigans above, Hillary still won the popular vote by over a million votes (and still counting). That means the crazy, insane voting block, which represents only 1/25 of the total, consistently swings elections because other voters stay home. Over and over again we see it play out. And we saw it again this year. Not voting for your interests is a vote against them. 

I don’t buy the bullshit argument we need to coddle straight white men. We don’t need to coddle them. We need to get more women, minorities, and LGBTI foks to the ballot box and kick their selfish asses to the curb. As a collective we outnumber the selfish white men. And here is the crux of the problem IMO. White society is slowly realizing the system no longer predominantly represents them anymore. It scares the shit out of them. Deep down they are afraid of becoming the minority and discovering what it feels like to be discriminated against. This is what drives the cognitive dissonance that allows people to look past Donald’s racist, sexist, xenophobic, etc, etc, etc behaviors. They can’t reconcile the contradiction so they block it out. This is what won the election for Donald IMO. 

I’ve said it before, [2]And again, I hate being right here  indifference is going to destroy us. The more we abandon our cherished rights and freedoms, the faster they will be taken from us. We run to social media to whine or we run into the streets demanding “something be done“. Meanwhile, the people in power keep on doing what their doing. They know there is very little consequence so what’s to fear? 

The republicans do get credit for reading the writing on the wall. They took full advantage of the openness [3]Read no regulation on what’s called news of the internet and social media. They never let up with their false attacks on opponents. Social media has become the perfect dissemination tool for “story” after story of half truths and flat out lies to confuse an increasingly poorly educated populace. Even our normal media outlets have shifted away from truth and facts to trying to garner ad-clicks. The flashier or more outrageous the headline the better. Doesn’t matter anymore if the headline matches the story. People then see these shitty stories, shared and reshared over time and develop a completely contrary view of reality based on lies and half truths. It’s only now, after it might be too late, suddenly social media is taking notice. No mention yet from traditional media. Maybe they just need to die out and be replaced. 

We’ve built the perfect democracy busting engine using a trifecta of parts; indifference, ignorance, and a media platform devoid of integrity. 

References

References
↑1 I know this article is probably too long to hold the attention of most folks so I won’t bother with the ‘long rant ahead’ admonishment. I mean even the headline is devoid of anything flashy. hehehe
↑2 And again, I hate being right here
↑3 Read no regulation on what’s called news

Kaepernick

I’ve gotten a few requests for my thoughts on this whole faux scandal. I say faux because I love how people go out of their way to “out American” others. It is just another in a series of sad stories showing our growing ignorance as a nation. Anyway, since I work for a law-enforcement related agency, people often assume I’m always gonna side with the police. Wrong. While I certainly have insights that others might not have at times, I always strive to be on the side of fairness and truth. 
First, Kapernick has the right to not stand. He has that right because of the men/women who have fought for it. Being a free American means you can criticize your country’s failings, perceived or otherwise. Actually calling out your leader’s failings is as American as one can get if you read our constitution. As to Kaepernick, he certainly isn’t immune to fallout from said behavior, but stop trying to shame him for it.

As to the man himself, I find his behavior a bit hypocritical. For someone who often uses racial slurs, [1]He has been fined for them before it seems a bit disingenuous to suddenly find a moral compass now. And considering his influence and place in society as a famous football playing millionaire, I’m struggling to find the sincerity in his actions. Rumor has it his new girlfriend is big in the BLM movement and I can’t help but wonder if that has influenced his ideas, not that her influence is necessarily a bad thing. Being enlightened by others is perfectly fine; however, what else is he doing? Is he meeting w/local police agencies? Is he donating money to community groups? Is he doing anything besides his now infamous ‘sitting’ exercise? I don’t need to disparage the man to show the contrast of his actions. 

At the end of the day, there is a very real problem between minority communities and police agencies. But it isn’t always about racism. There are many social, cultural, & economic variables affecting the divide. Trying to conflate it all into one giant polarizing idea of black & white [2]see what I did there? Hehehe is simplistic and often the tool of the biased. As I’ve said before, acknowledging failures by law enforcement doesn’t make me support law enforcement any less. Nor does calling out the bad players within the BLM movement make me any less supportive of fair and equal treatment for minorities.  And  speaking of the bad players, am I only the only seeing the irony here? We proclaim loudly that BLM and others can protest peacefully w/o resorting to violence and the moment someone does, we attack him as anti-American. So what we really want is to completely avoid the inherent problems still festering in our society. 

The sensationalized style of our media and news consumption only lends itself to dividing all sides even further apart. The focus isn’t on truth or even honest reporting. It’s solely on generating outrage which turns into ad-clicks. 

So I accept his right to sit and protest. Just as I accept he probably isn’t doing it for the right reasons. Either way, those are my feelings on the subject. 

References

References
↑1 He has been fined for them before
↑2 see what I did there? Hehehe

Politics

I have reached my limit with all the back and forth attacks on social media over politics. I’m not even joking a little. I’m done with the the never ending attacks on [candidate you don’t like].

No, I won’t unfriend you anymore.

No, I won’t even unfollow you.

What I will do is tell your smug ass off.

I don’t want you sharing or posting nonsensical biased articles on my feed. Share it on your own page. I’ve deleted and blocked 3 people today for drive-by "shares" on my page. Friend or foe, you are not immune. Just knock it off.

I want you to ask yourself how many of your smug, snotty, over-top, and condescending comments have helped? How many minds have you changed? Zero? One? Two? The answer is most likely none. People don’t like being told their wrong for believing something. I know shocker, right? They also don’t like to be talked down to over a difference of opinion, even if you feel their opinion is wrong. Finding a quick hit-piece online doesn’t make you an expert or even that well informed, it just makes you a jerk. I won’t even go into the idea of successful discourse because it’s pointless. No one cares about debating anymore. They just care about their own personal bias and how far they can extend the reach of their super ego aka social media.

I follow politics and have for some time. While I certainly wouldn’t say I’m an expert I do keep up. Frankly, I don’t need your opinion on who I should vote for. I don’t need your insinuations or snarky comments either. The only thing I want to know is that you did get out and vote when the time comes. Especially since the last election was the lowest in over 50 years.

I’m happy to see my small circle of close friends isn’t engaging in this nonsense. I might revisit the idea after the primaries are over, but I am so over it for now.

Destroy

I’m in a mood today.

Why is it anytime something happens the so called "devout christians" don’t like god is going to destroy America?’ Every other day now there is some hypocritical blow-hard declaring we are going to be destroyed if [abc person] gets elected or [xyz law] passes. SMDH

Out of all the atrocities occurring in the world on a daily basis ‘god’ is going to smite us because they don’t get their bigoted way? I guess having a monopoly on the idea of what a god would/wouldn’t say means one gets to deftly ignore everything else in favor of cause de jure. These folks always ramp up their rhetoric during elections. They can’t use common sense or logic so they fall back on fear and ignorance. They are utterly predictable now.

What is sad in all of this is they are gaining influence. As we let our children continually be deprived of a decent education in this country, ignorance and anti-intellectualism are on the rise. The ignorant are often easily swayed by emotions. Add in the mind-numbing influence of social media these days and it is a perfect platform.

Here’s a newsflash for said folks. Your god isn’t going to do anything. We; however, will most likely wipe ourselves out. It won’t be because of who won/lost an election or what law passed or didn’t. No, our blind indifference to the devastation we are causing this planet will mostly likely be a contributing factor. And we’ll never do anything about it because our greed is too powerful. Our never-ending obsession with wealth and control will be our end.

In brighter news, [insert choice] sports team won something! That is totes more important than any tree-hugging hippie news right?

Q-word

I ditched one of my regular news reads today.

Based on what appears to be a completely internal narrative, the Gay Voices section of the HuffPo [1]Huffington Post decided to change their name to Queer Voices. The explanation is that gay is too limiting and Queer is somehow more inclusive. Really? Are you effin’ kidding me? One of the most vile hateful words out there and it’s more inclusive? Hell naw! Even the normal definition is divisive.

I just can’t bring myself to support a news org that willingly uses a derogatory slur to describe us. Actually, I can but I won’t. I am the last person to be the word police but this isn’t about being politically correct at all. The rambling article they put out to announce the decision was full of self-serving justifications. If anything the tone was we refuse to every be considered normal or part of the whole so we are changing our name to prove it. The entire piece felt insulting and condescending wrapped in a smile of ‘we’re just trying to stay current.‘ Well, they can stay current w/o me and go straight to hell. Do not pass go, do not collect $200, go directly to hell.

I normally don’t put much stock in hearing people talking about how ‘offended’ they are at [action of choice]. Being offended usually just means you don’t like something. As with a lot of things these days, people conflate ideas/actions/behaviors that are considered offensive to society at large with general every day actions they don’t like. Regardless, I was offended and deeply. I grew up listening to that awful word being hurled around as an insult and slur. While I was fortunate enough to escape childhood with only a little physical gay-bashing, I did not escape the jeers, taunts, and never-ending cruel names. ‘Queer’ was front and center and I will never willingly refer to someone that way. It has not lost its bite or derogatory meaning.

The argument that we are somehow reclaiming the word is absolute bullshit. It is not slang, it is a slur! [2]I’m struck here by the irony we can’t say tranny anymore which is just simple slang but we can use a slur to refer to ourselves. SMDH Even here in SF said term is not accepted. Oh there is a contingent that feels the need to refer to themselves that way for sure. And that is their right. You can call yourself whatever you wish but don’t presume to speak for the whole. It’s flat out disgusts me we could consider naming a section of an online publication with global recognition with such a shameful slur. And I’m not alone. The reaction was swift and almost unanimous. The decision is not being met well at all. At last count the article was up to 200 comments and almost all were against it. At one point comments appeared to disappear; however, the site is notorious for outages and glitches with the FB commenting tool.

I am not queer, I am a man who happens to be gay. My orientation adds to my uniqueness but it does not define me. The idea that being queer somehow exclusively makes me special or different is foolish. Call it the LGBTI voices, rainbow voices, etc but don’t call it queer and pretend it’s OK now.

So far there have been no updates, no apologies, no "we had the best intentions" acknowledgments, nothing. I’ve taken them out of my news reader and told FB to not ‘show me stories from HuffPo’ at all. There are plenty of welcoming places online that don’t decide, based on the ideas of a few, renaming themselves an offensive slur is "looking to the future." I won’t be going back to that site as long as they demean us.

end of line

References

References
↑1 Huffington Post
↑2 I’m struck here by the irony we can’t say tranny anymore which is just simple slang but we can use a slur to refer to ourselves. SMDH

Bash

I can understand the Repugs eating their own but I’m struggling with the Dems doing it now as well. More and more lately, I’m seeing vitriolic and viscous attacks online between the Hillary and Bernie supporters. Even more surprising is seeing a lot of it from within the LGBT umbrella.

I don’t get it. Since when is it ok to disrespect people because they like a different candidate than you? Having a difference of opinion or even a healthy discussion on the pros/cons of [candidate] is great. However, resorting to baseless accusations, name calling, and personal attacks is counter productive at best. Last time I checked this was still a free country where every citizen had the right to freely vote or support the candidate of their choice. And for the few I’ve seen making comments like, "well if [candidate] wins, I won’t vote", you don’t deserve a vote. Voting is a privilege for adults not petulant children. And how is it helping the situation by alienating people who might be convinced to support your candidate of choice? I know I sure as hell don’t feel sympathetic when someone tries to shame me into changing my opinion. If anything, it solidifies my thoughts. I blame the lack of face to face interactions that social media creates. People are emboldened to behave poorly w/o fear of retribution.

I rarely unfriend or unfollow folks but I’m reaching a point where I just don’t care anymore. And it’s never folks I know personally because they honestly wouldn’t remain in my life as a friend with such behaviors. Anyway, I unfollowed several folks today and even unfriended two who were just awful. The comments ranged from insults, personal attacks, and even threats. I just don’t have time for that. Rather than starting a flame war, it is easier to just unfollow or unfriend said folks.

Politics is always a sensitive subject because most folks often project their own views onto others. When they abruptly discover said view isn’t shared, discord arises. That’s perfectly fine and acceptable. However, when your behavior is in question, you take away any chance of success at winning your case in the minds of others. And if you really really really want your candidate to win, get off your ass and join their campaign. Get out and shake hands, talk to people, share your thoughts on how great said candidate is. Don’t whine and bash others on social media who don’t agree with you. Frankly, said behavior does way more harm than good.

War

It has become normal for this time of year to include a contingent of haters claiming there is a "war on Christmas." Someone explain it to me. Where is this alleged war? Are they referring to the fact that more businesses and people are aware enough now to recognize not everyone celebrates Christmas? Is that the war? Really?

No one who has complained about said war can show any real proof other than personal bias. I’ve yet to see or hear any real attempts to eliminate or stifle someone’s holiday. A coworker was lamenting they felt Christmas was diminished by generic ‘holiday wishes.’ After asking the coworker why, they could only come up with their own personal preference in a greeting. News flash, that is not a war on your holiday! I just shook my head and walked away.

Frankly, if your personal holiday is ruined because someone wishes you a good holiday with the wrong greeting, the problem is with you. Seriously, just be happy someone took the time to wish you well. I personally don’t care if you wish me Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Holiday, Happy Festivus, Happy Solstice, etc. You wishing me good will is enough. I don’t correct you or go out of my way to clarify I celebrate Brand X holiday. I accept your kindness and move on.

I personally tend to wish everyone a Happy Kwanzaa. People often either have no idea what it is but have heard of it, or giggle a bit and wish me one as well. Yeah, it’s a tiny passive aggressive act but it tickles my funny bone.

So Happy Kwanzaa!