Category: tech

Facts

Following up on my cognitive dissonance rant, I’ve been really disappointed lately with the disturbing trend we have toward ignoring facts. It seems that once again we are following in the foot-steps of the crazies by now also ignoring facts in favor of bias.

I use the most recent episode of Fitness SF’s [1]Formerly Gold’s Gym domain scandal. One of the web contractors for the gym took their domain down and posted a rather long diatribe about “freelance developers” and “independent businesses” not being respected or paid. The contractor went on to accuse the franchise [2]Which is not a big business by any means, they run 4 gyms of failing to pay past due bills.

First, I agree a business should pay its bills. That was never in dispute. However, reading the posted story, it didn’t take much to recognize there was more to it. First, the contractor focused too hard on trying to play the victim and FSF was the big bad guy. Second, it reeked of revenge. The contractor requested everyone reading his rant cancel their memberships in protest. And here’s the kicker, some people did! With no more information than that given by a disgruntled party in a civil dispute, people not only canceled memberships but went on personal tirades about freelancers, the gym, uppity gays, blah, blah, blah.

FSF released a statement a couple days later detailing more of what was going on. And as suspected, it was much more than them just refusing to pay a bill. The contractor missed not only content but also deadline delivery. It goes one step further. His contract had been canceled and he no longer had legal access to the domain! So not only did the contractor act unethically, he also broke the law. And yet FSF was the bad guy. I don’t know who is ultimately “right” in this whole ordeal, but what is clear is it was a civil dispute between two parties that should never have been made public in this manner. I will add, having seen the mess that was their website during their grand-opening, it certainly adds up.

Here is where my rant really comes in today. Even after more of the real story came out, many still bashed FSF and went on to claim “support for freelance developers.” [3]Completely forgetting how far the local franchise has gone out of their way to support our community lately.  Truth no longer mattered, only the person’s personal bias. On a tangent, having done freelance web-design for many years, I can speak from experience. If I didn’t deliver a product as promised, I didn’t expect to get paid. And if I did get paid, it wasn’t the original price. I certainly would never stoop to taking down a companies’ domain over a dispute. One, said practice is a very grey area legally and two, it certainly doesn’t encourage more business knowing you resort to such tactics. Two wrongs don’t make a right. The moment the contractor stooped this low, he lost any moral high-ground, if he ever had it to begin with.

Facts matter people and so should the truth. This is but one example of many I could cite lately. We all have personal biases, no secret there. But we also have reason. When you allow your personal bias to trump reason and then go on to compound the issue thru denial, you marginalize yourself (and your argument). Life rarely deals in absolutes and trying to have an absolute ideal is often a recipe for failure. Don’t get caught up in the sensationalism and/or mob mentality. And just because a “friend” shared it with you on Facebook, take the time to understand an issue before going all holier-than-thou.

We are better than this. We do not need to stoop to such tactics to be taken seriously. You can support a cause, group, or ideal w/o blindly ignoring facts, reason, or simple logic.

References

References
↑1 Formerly Gold’s Gym
↑2 Which is not a big business by any means, they run 4 gyms
↑3 Completely forgetting how far the local franchise has gone out of their way to support our community lately.

Message

So I got a snotty message from someone on growlr the other day. Apparently, because I didn’t answer his first reply buried in about 100 other messages I’ve yet to open that made me a stuck up asshole. Who knew? I used to try to be polite to folks like this and explain things but I honestly don’t have time to help validate your insecurities online. Seriously, I can understand disappointment. We all go thru it. But if you get that worked up over someone not replying to your message, grunt, poke, jingle, woof, or whatever, then I highly recommend you log off the internet.

I’ve rambled before about our technology outpacing our ethical ability to keep up so no need to beat that horse again. Unfortunately, I did send back a bit of a snotty message. I shouldn’t have as it should be beneath me.

Dear random person.
I’m so very sorry that you are upset that I didn’t immediately drop everything I was doing to instantly see and respond to your 12 messages. You see, your message got buried in my queue filled with 100 or so other very important growls [1]Growls are like smiles or woofs, it’s basically an automated notification someone is saying hi. that I haven’t gotten to yet. I’ve been meaning to quit my job so I’d have more free time to respond to every single request , no matter how vague or how far away.  ~ Moby

Yes, it was a shitty reply. I own that. I was cranky and it hit me at just the wrong moment. After a recent rant about my politeness, I sort of have egg on my face.  I could have just deleted it and moved on. No need to chastise me, I’m doing that well enough on my own. Two wrongs don’t make a right and I need to strive to not be so snotty, even if it was deserved.

I would humbly ask, if you are an online user (lord knows we all are), recognize that you are projecting an expectation onto others who may not have the same expectation.

References

References
↑1 Growls are like smiles or woofs, it’s basically an automated notification someone is saying hi.

Ban v.20

So looks like the nudity ban held up in court. I would have been surprised if it hadn’t. It was carefully worded. It is a shame we ended up with this law on the books but now maybe we can all move past it. [1]I’m sure some won’t and will lament even louder about how fascist SF has become. Seriously, just think about that for a moment.  I never supported the ban on it’s surface but I also never supported the so called nudists. Legislating personal behavior is a tricky and dangerous slope. However, I can tolerate it because it strives to strike what I believe to be a fair balance. 

It is truly unfortunate a selfish few had to ruin it for all. And yes, I say selfish because that is exactly what it was. Regardless of my theories on nudity, it is selfish anytime you decide your wants are more important than everyone else’s. The cognitive dissonance regarding the whole ordeal has sparked a post of it’s very own. (forthcoming)  But I do truly hope we can all move past it now. For something so silly, it sparked a lot of debate within the community. I wish we put half the energies invested in all this towards dealing with the homeless, skyrocketing rents, MUNI, etc. The Castro, as a gay neighborhood, is dying a slow death. It’s being strangled by greed, selfishness, and gentrification. The latter being totally unavoidable but as a whole I think the “Castro” as a gay hood will be gone in 10 years. Local businesses cannot afford rents and the neighborhood seems dead set on preventing anyone who might be a chain from opening. So spaces sit empty collecting yet more homeless encampments.

Anyway, if you really think about it, the ban pretty much maintains the status quo before all this started. You can still expose your buttocks pretty much anywhere. You can still go nude at beaches, fairs, events, parks (to a degree), etc. You just can’t park your butt in the hub of the neighborhood naked anymore. This is where we were before these guys decided to push the boundaries. I do not believe, as some have stated, that SF is becoming conservative or fascist. That is all lip service for “I didn’t get my way so I’m gonna call you names.”  SF is still a wonderfully progressive city in so many ways.

On a side rant, unfortunately, SF is facing an identity crisis. It has moved beyond a “small town” to a thriving city and the attitudes and approach to managing it are still stuck in the days of old. If SF is going to truly thrive and remain diverse, it needs to move away from viewing itself a small city and start managing itself as the city that it is.

References

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↑1 I’m sure some won’t and will lament even louder about how fascist SF has become. Seriously, just think about that for a moment.

Attention

I had such a good time at the annual Boys with Balls charity. It’s a bowling adventure filled with around 300+ shirtless gay men. How could it not be fun?! Anyway, I got a lot of attention this year. I guess the new muscle mass is working. Seriously, I was a bit surprised how many random guys flirted with me this year. I mean you can’t go to an event like this and not flirt w/someone but it was still very nice and a pleasant surprise.

I’m a huge flirt, no surprise there. One guy I had flirted with (but had never seen before in my life) came up behind me in the bathroom and basically sniffed me all over. He did other stuff too but that is a bit off topic. lol I bring it up because while he was grabbing me, I caught a glance of myself in the mirror. With him standing behind me, I had more objective view of my body size and shape. I was pleased. I’m really developing an appreciation for my new size and look. As I shift further and further away in my mind from the old me to the current me, I’m getting happier with how I look. I’m proud of how much work I’ve put into it and glad I can objectively learn to appreciate the results.

I kept running into this shorter hot scruffy guy that I’ve always had the hots for. I literally ran into him. Recognizing it was him, I took advantage of the happenstance and kept “bumping” into him all night. We both laughed and had fun with it. I was totally flattered that he flirted back and it definitely lifted my spirits. (Remind me to tell you about the big burly Texan who latched onto me and then his follower kept giving me daggers for looks the rest of the night) I am a total sucker for a big smile and his was infectious and lit up his whole face. Naturally, my heart (and other parts) fluttered around him.

Imagine my total surprise when hottie looks me up on FB afterwards!  We continued to flirt and he expressed a desire to go a little further in our “bumping.” I was all too eager to agree. But here is the funny part. As the conversation unfolded, it became apparent he’d always thought I wasn’t into him. The irony is I thought the same thing of him! We’d seen each other around from time to time. I’d always made a point to acknowledge or say hi to him. I never got an indication that he was really interested. He’d always say hi back but it just seemed rather cordial. I was seriously befuddled that he could have possibly thought I wasn’t into him.

And, of course, I’ve been mulling it over constantly since then. lol I pride myself on being friendly and ‘approachable’ so naturally I’m kicking myself as to how I could have given the impression I wasn’t interested. Am I becoming to focused at the gym? Have I started presenting myself as unapproachable w/o knowing it. I enlisted the help of friends, who were perfectly useless. lol I say that w/love because they can’t see me objectively so asking them was pointless. It’s eating at me now of course. And I’ll keep picking at it till I resolve it in my head at some point.

Anyway, as luck would have it, he is usually a top as well. I say usually because, well you know…

We had a great time and he was just as much fun as I expected. (Even more actually)  Of course, in a city full of bottoms I keep running into all the tops. *sigh*

Pics

Someone on FB asked me the other day why I don’t post many pics anymore. Well, I said some time ago I was pulling further away from FB. And while I haven’t made the break completely, I just don’t feel the need to give them my data to harvest. And with the recent Instagram purchase scandal, that decision was reaffirmed. I do still post random pics but mostly of Cooper and/or pics shared by others of me already on FB. Ninety percent of my activities there are commenting on friends stuff, my blog updates, news stories I comment on, and Foursquare updates. As FB pushes more and more to share all our data, I am sharing less and less. I’ve already begun going thru and unliking pretty much every page or commercial site I ever “liked.” The bombardment of ads increases more and more every month it seems.

So if you really wanna see more pics of me you’re gonna have to jump over to Google+ from time to time. I moved all my pic storage to picasa before Goolge+ came out but now that it is all nicely integrated, I like it even more. I get tons and tons of free storage and the extra storage is a fraction of the cost that sites like flickr charge. There is no way I can post all the pics I take to my blog w/o overloading my subscribers email boxes. lol I am working on a photo album link to pop up on the blog sidebar though. (If you want to add me on Google+, click the sidebar link to my profile there.) [1]Keep in mind, I do not add profiles w/porn or nudity. I have no problem with either but it is not the purpose of my social profile.

On a slight tangent, I’ve noticed several friends and blog buddies pulling away from FB as well. Some have deactivated their accounts all together while most have just logged out for extended periods of time. I discovered this week even my roomie has ditched FB for awhile. I guess I’m not the only one tired of the data harvest that is FB these days. That is pretty much all it is now. They’re saving grace is user volume. But like myspace, they might wake up one day and find themselves irrelevant. More and more of my friend list is making the jump to Google+.  Maybe one day I’ll be able to ditch FB completely.

References

References
↑1 Keep in mind, I do not add profiles w/porn or nudity. I have no problem with either but it is not the purpose of my social profile.

Profile

I was cleaning some really old files off my webserver the other day and I stumbled upon an edit file of old profile info I used to post on AOL. [1]That’s America Online for all you youngin’s out there.   I had a habit of saving my profile descriptions. I’d often just copy/paste the same profile info as necessary across different sites. Anyway, I was a little disappointed after perusing some of the content. I had forgotten some of the disrespectful things I used to put in my profiles. Granted, I wasn’t trying to be disrespectful but that really isn’t the point. Intentional or not, referring to a whole race of people as being off-limits is offensive. The same goes for “not fats, no fems, etc.”

While I did eventually see the error of my ways, I’m sad to say many have not. You only need peruse pretty much any online social site to see guys posting the same type of comments. And don’t even get me started on the over-use of ‘masculine-only.‘ That is a rant all to itself. We’ll save it for a rainy day.

Anyway, whether you intend it or not, it is offensive to put such things in a profile. I’ve probably ranted on this subject before but it bears repeating. Instead of telling the world what you’re not into, focus on what you are into and keep it positive. Leave out the negative comments as it only serves to make you look like an ass. And it often makes you less appealing to prospective suitors. After all, the old saying goes ‘you catch more flies with honey...’

*

After I wrote this I found the original post on the subject. How funny I gave it the same title. I guess my mind still thinks the same way.

References

References
↑1 That’s America Online for all you youngin’s out there.

Happy

Happy holidays to all of ya out there. I’m working today to help keep lala land safe. There will be tons of food at work. They day will start off slow and as we move into evening, the family fights will start. lol Once the newness wears off, you suddenly realize why you only see certain people once a year. hehehe

I hope you all have a warm, fuzzy and safe holiday whatever you celebrate. Be it Solstice, Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, great spagetti monster, whatever! And if you’re going out with friends and/or family, please be safe. On the chance your holiday is a bit blue, consider yourself hugged from me. It’s just another day and will be over tomorrow.

For those of you who got xmas cards from me this year, I didn’t get to pop in my surprise. It was gonna be a pic of me and Cooper. Sadly, my printer decided to die a violent painful death and ruin my plans. I blame Apple guy. I’m not sure how but I know it’s all his fault! lol [1]yes, he reads my blog :p

Oh and you should be logged in!

*

On a complete side rant, I’ve noticed more and more people who have given up (or cut way back) on traditional christmas celebrations. They all lament pretty much the same thing. It’s become a consumer frenzy of over-spending, often on items no one really needs and will be out-dated within just a few months. I’m not complaining about consumerism just the craziness that has grown up around it. [2]And don’t even get me started on the overnight, sometimes weekly waits in line for electronic devices that will be out-dated in just a few months. Seriously, WTF?! I mention it because the holidays can be a hard time for a lot of folks. Whatever the reason, sometimes the holidays are just rough. I find that as I shift away from the traditional idea of christmas I no longer feel as much pressure around holidays. I used to get very sad on xmas if I was single. I’d feel lonely, pathetic, and like a total failure as a person. Granted, that was a time when I had bigger issues on my plate but you get my point. I just don’t put as many expectations on holidays anymore. Less expectations equals less pressure. Less pressure means less anxiety. So if you are someone who is having trouble finding holiday spirit this year, I hope my words help. At the end of the day, it’s all self-inflicted. You are not a failure, you are still a wonderful human being, regardless of your relationship status. I urge you to walk away from the hype, the fairy-tale story-lines, and just focus on the things you do have. I bet you’re better off than you realize.

Regardless, I wish you the best and as usual, I thank you for reading my madness.

🙂

References

References
↑1 yes, he reads my blog :p
↑2 And don’t even get me started on the overnight, sometimes weekly waits in line for electronic devices that will be out-dated in just a few months. Seriously, WTF?!

New

*First, sorry for all the emails. I was working with my Hosting provider on an image upload error and forgot to turn the damn subscribe plugin off. Apologies.

Anyway, I bought a new bluethooth keyboard for the Nexus 10. Who knew there were so many to choose from now? There were easily 10 or 15 different choices. I even found an ergonomic one I plan on getting later for home. Anyway, here is my shiny new keyboard. lol I love that the case doubles as a stand.

Since the Nexus 10 and the Tab 2 (10.1) are basicaly the same size, I could have opted for the zagg keyboard like I had with the iPad. The zagg actually irritated me though. The keys were scrunched up too close and aggrevated my carpal tunnel after only a few minutes. This one is more spread out (I wrote this post using it) and comfortable to type on. I almost opted for the rubberized one that would roll up but it looked a little too flimsy and didn’t get the best reviews.

It’s funny how rarely I use my laptop anymore. I’m sure as the OS matures, I won’t even need a laptop soon. The nexus has a video port so I cactually plug it into an external monitor and use it like a computer.

Moved

I’m all moved to my new site now. Unfortunately, I was unable to merge the old blog. Apparently, WordPress only supports xml imports up to 2megs and mine was 9megs.

*sigh* I just set it up the way it was before so nothing has really changed. All the old links were kept intact as well so I guess there is that.

Now I get to finally fire 1and1.com and their shitty customer service!

 

New

For those few of you who still visit my blog via the web vs RSS, mobile, etc, you should notice a (hopefully) unobtrusive first time visitor message right before the first post on the blog. As soon as you reload or revisit it should disappear. I hate popup windows so opted to make it show as easily as possible w/o interfering w/your visit.

It sets a small cookie [1]which you can delete anytime showing you’ve been here before. For you security minded folks, I’ve examined the cookie and it only collects enough info to function.

As my site visits increase, I felt the need to post messages for new visitors. I’m just experimenting for now. This one seems the most stable and the least intrusive so I’m trying it out first.

References

References
↑1 which you can delete anytime