Follow?

I get so tickled at some of the games people play on social media. If you use Instagram (IG) at all, I’m sure you’ve seen the “follow for follow” or “unfollow = unfollow” comments in profiles.

Bitch, if I unfollow you I don’t really care if you unfollow me. I ain’t following you anymore so why would I care? lol This happens because ‘follows’ have become a bit of a game where scam profiles (or even legit ones) follow a bunch of other accounts in the hopes of quickly gaining followers. Once you follow them, they often unfollow you. Since IG doesn’t display this you technically don’t know they have unfollowed you. Having a lot of followers on IG is like being rich in monopoly money. Why I certainly enjoy when I get new followers, much like my blog, it is not my purpose. I go out of my way to track and block fake accounts.

It all panders to our insecurities and need for approval. Bitch, I tackled those demons years ago. As Bianca would say, “Not today, Satan! Not today!” lol1

I only like to follow folks that interest me in someway. To be frank, I follow a lot of muscle guys for motivation to get my ass in the gym. I typically follow guys that are bigger than me but not huge. I honestly don’t find huge guys attractive or motivational. At some point, you just look gross IMO.2 Of course, like most homos, I follow accounts of guys I’m attracted to as well. So you can see my IG is pretty shallow most days. lolol And I’m ok with that because it serves a purpose without really impacting me in a way I find detrimental. I don’t obsess over guys I consider more attractive. Nor do I put myself down because I haven’t reached a fitness goal that nears perfection. I already know I’ll never reach that level and don’t plan to.3 I use the profiles/pics for motivation to remind me to get my lazy ass to the gym. And yes, the occasional stimulation doesn’t hurt none either. heehee

If you follow me there, you know most of my posts are selfies from the gym, trips, and dogs. That about sums it up. You might get inspired, bored, or neither. That is ok cause I on there for me. I appreciate comments and likes but I don’t go out of my way to capture the ‘perfect selfie’. Most of time, it is very spur of the moment pics.

Besides, does anyone really need hundreds of thousands or even tens of thousands of followers? Who could possibly keep up with that? Not me. I’m get tired just scrolling thru all the bulldog profiles!

  1. Speaking of, going to see her on 11.15.19, can’t wait! []
  2. And don’t go getting triggered. I ain’t “yuck-ing your yum”, I just don’t like it for myself. []
  3. It is way too much damn work for one. []

Bias

If you know me, you know I talk about personal bias a lot. Everyone has biases. It is a natural process as humans grow. As our morals (or lack thereof) are shaped thru our environment and our brains learn to label things, bias is inevitable. But, we also have something called logical reasoning. This allows us to recognize and potentially overcome our biases when they are wrong or misguided. That is, if we chose to examine our feelings or try to separate our bias from facts.

In society today, bias rules supreme on social media. IMO it is one of the single largest failings of “social media”. It has allowed people to isolate themselves from opposing opinions or anyone who disagrees with xyz topic. It also allows folks to reach out and find others who think in similar terms, which only serves to reinforce one’s bias.

Sadly, this has lead us to the ‘fake news’ era and a flat out unwillingness of people to believe facts. Don’t even get me started on the never ending fake sites that pop up alleging malicious acts or crimes against persons they are against. The rise in anti-intellectualism stems from an unwillingness to let go or overcome one’s own bias.

And this brings me to my rant today. You can’t call yourself a moral, christian, or even a good person when you ignore facts in favor of bias. When you simply decide “I do not believe that” in favor of bias, then you are not in fact a moral, christian, or even a good person. Faith in an idea, person, or even religion should be dependent on denying truth. As a moral or ethical person, you should care about truth above biases, even your own. More importantly, you should be willing to challenge your own bias to see if it is grounded in fact or fiction.

Aging

Well color me surprised, I got several welcome back emails after my last post. lol Thanks to those who responded. I honestly didn’t think anyone still visited the site. However, I forgot about my RSS feed and the email push. Duh!

Anyway, I’m always touched when folks read here. It’s pretty bland these days as I’ve resisted discussing current events. I don’t want the blog to turn into a bitch fest so I’ll have to really think it over. Lawd knows I have an opinion on most current events. Social media is so toxic these days I may open the blog up to more topics. I miss it.

A reader did follow up about my age post and I figured I’d update on what I meant. I have definitely noticed my age these last few years. It started around 46 but the following year seemed to really be the dividing line. I’m fast approaching ‘ancient’1 I’m just a year and a few months away! Oh dear, how will I cope? The same as always.

To the question put to me, I have noticed why some older guys tend to resent the gay community as I age. Many of these things don’t phase me but I can see how it can turn ugly fast. The one I get most tickled over is when young guys hit me up on ‘certain apps’ and then get bitter when I either don’t respond or politely decline. Many times the trending retort is something along the lines of” your old anyway” or “your bald and old“.  One guy went so far as to setup a fake profile to try and harass me. He would send me messages like, “what’s up chubs” or “how you doing gramps“.  It was hysterical. The less I reacted the more he tried to get me upset. I finally took pity and let him know his attempts to hurt or anger me had failed and he had my compassion. If your life is so bad you need to resort to such antics, you truly have my sympathy. The profile disappeared after that. When he sees me on the streets now, his sneers have turned to just ignoring me. Either way, not my problem.

On the flip side, I’d be lying if I said it didn’t sting a little when someone I’m into declines and I get the impression it’s due to age. But sting vs tantrum are very different feelings. I accept the fact it will happen and so it makes handling it much easier….usually.

And that is how I approach some of the more negative aspects of aging in the gay community. I get it, we’re very carnally driven and as we age the desire remains while our attraction from others wanes. This can lead to some painful conflicts. I think it really falls back on how much you accept and love yourself. If you haven’t tackled those demons, then aging can be very hard and even isolating when you’re single. I adore my Shawn but if things went south, I’d never hold onto him out of fear of being alone. Been there, done that and no thanks. Fortunately, we’re doing good. It helps that I care more for his happiness than whether we are together or not. I love him dearly but I’d never want us to stay together and be miserable just so we aren’t “single.”

I have more funny examples but I feel like I’m rambling. I’m sure I’ll share them later.

 

  1. if you’ve ever read here you’ll know I lovingly refer to reaching 50 in gay years as ancient. []

Sharing is Caring

A friend of a friend of a friend (you get the point here) recently sent me a DM on Facebook asking why I never share any of his posts he tags me in.

Me: Because I do not like sharing all that stuff. I do not enjoy it. I’d prefer you not tag me on them.

Him: But what happens when it is something serious?

Me: Something serious as in? Microsoft and Yahoo are merging and if you forward this to to 10 people you’ll get a lot of money? Or, “people” are cloning your entire profile? Or, [insert generic meme about your porn name vs your spirit animal]? Or, discover these 10 things that will kill you, click here? ((He has sent me every single one of these examples)) I do not care for these things. I definitely do not want them cluttering up my profile.

I do not care for these things. I definitely do not want them cluttering up my profile.

Him: You seem rude. Maybe you are not a nice person? Did you ever think of that?

Me: Yes, but I didn’t share it as a meme or spam everyone on my friends list.

He blocked me. Go figure.

Sharing is Caring

A friend of a friend of a friend (you get the point here) recently sent me a DM on Facebook asking why I never share any of his posts he tags me in.

Me: Because I do not like sharing all that stuff. I do not enjoy it. I’d prefer you not tag me on them.

Him: But what happens when it is something serious?

Me: Something serious as in? Microsoft and Yahoo are merging and if you forward this to to 10 people you’ll get a lot of money? Or, “people” are cloning your entire profile? Or, [insert generic meme about your porn name vs your spirit animal]? Or, discover these 10 things that will kill you, click here? ((He has sent me every single one of these examples)) I do not care for these things. I definitely do not want them cluttering up my profile.

I do not care for these things. I definitely do not want them cluttering up my profile.

Him: You seem rude. Maybe you are not a nice person? Did you ever think of that?

Me: Yes, but I didn’t share it as a meme or spam everyone on my friends list.

He blocked me. Go figure.

What Do You Say?

I was having a discussion with a coworker the other day and we got to talking politics. We were specifically discussing some of the underlying dynamics that often lead people to believe into crazy conspiracy theories. Mostly, we talked about how people often reason based on emotion not logic.

I used an example of my little brother. Not because my brother is a crazy extremist, just the opposite. The story perfectly illustrates how even well-meaning people end up on the wrong side of things at times. So the real question is how, in an age of sensationalized media, truly fake news, and bias, do we encourage every day folks to move beyond their base feelings and examine a solution with logic? How do we get people to realize what they “know” is often based on very limited exposure to the world at large?1

Let me get to my example. My little brother grew up not really “seeing” racism. To him, it is something he knows exists but in more pronounced examples. For lack of a better description, he sees it as a very black and white issue. I tried to explain white privilege to him and found it a frustrating struggle. As a white man he has never had to experience the frustrations a person of color endures daily. Because he grew up poor and busted his tail working hard to get to a point where he feels stable, he doesn’t understand how a black person doing the same thing faces many more obstacles. I explained many of the very real world examples to him and while he sort of ‘got it’, because he lives in a rural environment where these ideas are usually avoided, it doesn’t become ‘truth’ to him.

It is hard for people who spend everyday just worried about trying to put food on their table to rise above the squabble and focus on bigger issues like politics. And when they live in an environment where biases are constantly reinforced, it’s easy to see why so many fall prey to the machinations of political hacks who want them to stay poor and ignorant. People who are poorly educated as a whole are easily manipulated by their emotions. Quite simply, their emotions are used against them.

And this is one variable of many leading society towards a calamity. So how do we overcome that? What do you say to someone to get them to truly open their mind and listen? If we could figure that out I think the world would be a better place.

  1. How many “experts” do you encounter on Facebook or Twitter these days  LOL []

D2 v2.0

Ok so I’m still playing Destiny. lol  The new DLC got some pretty good reviews and the news was they were changing some of the things I hated most about the disc 2.

Well turns out, they did. Several of the awful changes have been reversed. And the new DLC is pretty good. A new twist on some of the existing bad guys with a hint of a mega merger of bad guys in the future. (The Scorn and the Taken.)

I know, you’re just dying at the news, right?!  I’m clearly too buys gaming to blog so ….

Anyway, I’m still at it. If you play in PS4 (or xbox) friend me under gamertag ibod8x5.  If you send a message I will most likely respond sooner. I tend to let unknown friend requests sit for ages. 

D2

I’m still playing Destiny 2. I keep threatening to give it up as they really botched this game disc by getting greedy. It seems common sense (or the expanding community backlash) has prevailed to a degree and they are bringing back some of the core functions in the upcoming DLC (DownLoadable Content)) they left out from disc 1. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t blame Bungie for trying to squeeze dollars out of the game but they went way overboard and people in general were pissed. Daily users dropped dramatically and haven’t really picked back up anywhere near the levels they were in D1.

This week, they released a sort of free mini to everyone that has me scratching my head as well. If you’ve never played, the game is setup so they can randomly add special challenges based on holidays, special occasions or the like. They usually run several months. This one only runs from this week until roughly the end of August. (The new DLC drops September 4th.) This by itself wouldn’t be a problem except the challenges require a lot of grinding (like a lot). So much so, I probably won’t even bother. If I’m lucky, I can squeeze in about 6-8 hours a week, including weekends. It seems counter productive to release a new series of challenges to complete for gear to raise your light level that you’ll never see because you won’t have time to finish even half of them. That or they’ll be obsolete when the new DLC hits as your maximum light levels will go up again. (Light level is basically how strong your player is. The higher the light level, the stronger the player)

I had planned to skip the new DLC a few months ago. This would have pretty much meant the end of the game for me. My interest in the game has drifted off and I barely complete the weekly goals as it is. However, the new DLC got rave reviews, even from some of the harshest critics, and after reading up on it, I buckled and pre-ordered it. We’ll see how it goes. I’m cautiously optimistic. There are so many little things I miss about the mechanics from D1, I’m hoping it revives my love for the game. If not, I’ve got a shit ton of games in my queue to get to. I’m also currently working on Far Cry 5, Fallout 4, and replaying Destroy all Humans.1  A bitch has things to do so Bungie better get their act together. heehee

 

  1. Corny old school PS3 game ported to PS4 recently. []

Boring

I wish I could say my life has been extremely busy lately, which would account for my lack of blogging. Nope. Just the usual boring stuff. Daily life revolves around work, dog, gym, video games, sleep, and repeat.  Exciting huh?

Let me delve into the excitement further since you are just dying to know more, right? lol1 Work is work. I STILL struggle with my schedule. I have just resigned myself to it though, even though I hate it. I hate working 10 hour days. I usually waste the 3rd day off as Shawn works. I often nap and video game the day away. Beyond that, I stay pretty busy at work so there is often no dead spots to blog. We are still incredibly short staffed. Our director has been hiring out the wazoo, but it’s only staved off attrition so far. I am confident the new staffing will make a dent eventually. Beyond that, same sh#t, different day. I joined a 2nd committee with the Union I belong to. Lawd, what was I thinking? Drama to the max.

Dog. Cooper is fine for the most part. He is getting older now. He’ll be 8 in May which is old age for bullies. He had some scares this past year but has been fine since then. I’ve had him on a diet and he is down to a slim 57 lbs. heehee  The goal is to hit 55. He hasn’t had any limps or unusual flare ups with discomfort so hopefully, the drop in weight is helping. He has developed this lovely groaning noise out of the blue. When he stretches, hops up quickly, or rolls around too much he’ll let out a sort of audible groan. It isn’t something he consciously does. It’s kinda cute. If I hadn’t just had him tested for cancer a few months ago I’d be freaked out. I just chalk it up to his ever lovely personality. He doesn’t like to do walks as much as he used to. I make up for by taking him for a ride in a zipcar anytime I have to run errands. He loves it.

Gym. Gym is progressing nicely. I’m back in the swing of things and have been for a while now. I’m liking the new routine I designed for myself. It works with my longer work schedule, even though I still end up rebelling when it comes to bedtime some nights.  I’ve put on a few lbs of muscle2 and lost a few lbs of fat. I’m almost to the peak range I like to be in. I don’t kill myself dieting, which is why the fat loss is going slow. I happy overall with where I am so I don’t feel compelled to put myself on a super strict regimen. I am trying to cut back on eating out as much. Some weeks I succeed, others I fail miserably. I’m still a bit heavier than I want to be so I continue to trim away at it. My belly is the biggest area needing work. I miss the days when my ass got fat. It all goes to my belly now.

Video Games. I’ve almost completely lost interest in Destiny 2. It has been a let-down of sorts. It doesn’t hold my attention like disc 1 did. It’s hard to explain. It isn’t one big thing but many smaller things that just make it less fun. I picked up Metal Gear Solid: Phantom Pain. I played the short version they originally released it it was ok. This one is a solid game, albeit an oddly chaotic and confusing story line. Since the game has bounce around on Nintendo, Sony, and now Xbox, you would probably be in the minority if you knew the entire story-line. I finished the campaign and have been going back thru leveling up thru side missions and extra hard main missions. I’ve been at it for months now so I’m slowly wearing out on it. I discovered last month they finally ported one of my all time favorite games to the XOne, The Darkness II.  Sadly, no port of game one. However, even with the old cheesy graphics its been fun playing again. The story is simplistic enough but it manages to pull you in and you get hooked. I still enjoy playing it. I have a few new game sin the queue that need some attention. I expect to get to them shortly.

Shawn is still loving his new job. He is settling into a routine and has yet to come home upset over anything. It’s been nice. hehehe

So you see, I’ve been very busy not being busy.

  1. I have several readers who live afar who yell at me when I go too long without blogging. []
  2. sadly, it’s just gaining back what I lost before but I’ll take it []

Selective

In the theme of my previous “Bias” rant, I’m been making some changes to my social media accounts. I’m becoming much more selective about who I follow. It doesn’t have to be rocket science but I ask myself, am I really going to follow or care about this person’s ramblings? It doens’t have to mean they are any more/less important than my own.

On FB, rather than unfriending folks and causing a whole new level of butt-hurt drama, I’ve started unfollowing many ‘friends’. Wow, what a difference it has made. The toxicity level has dropped significantly AND I really do pay attention to what the folks I do follow are saying. Who knew, right?! lol

On Twitter, I embraced ‘lists’. Now I move right into my lists vs my regular feed. I absolutely loathe the ‘friends liked this’ posts. Not that I use Twitter much anymore anyway. What started as my favorite social media tool has turned into advertising engine. It doesn’t much feel social at all anymore.

My poor Google app I mostly just ignore. I can’t tell you how disappointed I am Plus did not take off. I blame it for being too simple. People didn’t understand the more subtle nuances of leaving private comments vs public. It felt featureless for many people. It has also become an sp#m engine for p0rn.

I’m sad to say it but IG is my go-to social account these days. What a sad world when a picture book app is your primary social account? I enjoy IG for gym motivation. I try to follow regular guys that aren’t professional (or wanna be) bodybuilders. I prefer to follow guys like myself that struggle or focus on getting to the gym and staying fit.1  I also get a pure kick out of the seriousness some people invest in their IG shots. The level of obsession is staggering sometimes but oddly addictive to watch.2  Several blog readers have asked me why I don’t have more followers? I’d assume the same reason I don’t have a ton of comments on my blog. I don’t cultivate a “follow” crowd. If you follow me, it is because you are genuinely interested in moi, not because I post p0rn, glamour shots, and/or daily ‘inspirational quotes’ to cover up one’s own narssicism. *giggle* While I do love selfies from time to time, they aren’t my life and I rarely spend more than a few seconds ‘posing’ for one.

Snapchat is an utter disaster and I barely even open the app. The newest update is just another glaringly ad-in-your-face view. No thanks.

So far I’ve noticed a significant difference in how I view and respond to my social accounts. I find myself a little more engaging and willing to interact. I actually open FB more than once a day now. One could say it’s quality over quantity but that would be crazy, right!?

  1. I would TOTALLY be lying if I said a few hotties, just because, haven’t snuck into my feed! []
  2. Another sad testament to our times. []