So in a bit of shallowness, I’m probably the only gay guy who doesn’t like fancy underwear. By fancy I mean the alphabet of colors and cuts that seem to be prominent today. First, I am not bashing anyone, and if you comment keep it to the post not personal bias. kthanks. 

I just don’t get into perky panties as I like to call them. Granted, I also don’t wear the old school briefs that were often “generously” cut. lol I’d say it’s just my age but I’ve always disfavored them. Maybe it’s because I see them as flashy and I’m not a flashy kind of guy. I can see if you’re going to an event where your undies will be showing ie an underwear party, but in everyday life what is the point?

Me: I’m a standard boxer brief guy or commando. If I’m gonna wear undies, I want’em to fit w/o making me look like a WB cartoon character. I don’t need a bunch of cuts and rainbow of colors.

What about you? You a boxer, brief, or boxer-brief kind of guy? And if do you like the fancy ones, why?


Happy holidays to all of ya out there. I’m working today to help keep lala land safe. There will be tons of food at work. They day will start off slow and as we move into evening, the family fights will start. lol Once the newness wears off, you suddenly realize why you only see certain people once a year. hehehe

I hope you all have a warm, fuzzy and safe holiday whatever you celebrate. Be it Solstice, Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, great spagetti monster, whatever! And if you’re going out with friends and/or family, please be safe. On the chance your holiday is a bit blue, consider yourself hugged from me. It’s just another day and will be over tomorrow.

For those of you who got xmas cards from me this year, I didn’t get to pop in my surprise. It was gonna be a pic of me and Cooper. Sadly, my printer decided to die a violent painful death and ruin my plans. I blame Apple guy. I’m not sure how but I know it’s all his fault! lol [1]yes, he reads my blog :p

Oh and you should be logged in!


On a complete side rant, I’ve noticed more and more people who have given up (or cut way back) on traditional christmas celebrations. They all lament pretty much the same thing. It’s become a consumer frenzy of over-spending, often on items no one really needs and will be out-dated within just a few months. I’m not complaining about consumerism just the craziness that has grown up around it. [2]And don’t even get me started on the overnight, sometimes weekly waits in line for electronic devices that will be out-dated in just a few months. Seriously, WTF?! I mention it because the holidays can be a hard time for a lot of folks. Whatever the reason, sometimes the holidays are just rough. I find that as I shift away from the traditional idea of christmas I no longer feel as much pressure around holidays. I used to get very sad on xmas if I was single. I’d feel lonely, pathetic, and like a total failure as a person. Granted, that was a time when I had bigger issues on my plate but you get my point. I just don’t put as many expectations on holidays anymore. Less expectations equals less pressure. Less pressure means less anxiety. So if you are someone who is having trouble finding holiday spirit this year, I hope my words help. At the end of the day, it’s all self-inflicted. You are not a failure, you are still a wonderful human being, regardless of your relationship status. I urge you to walk away from the hype, the fairy-tale story-lines, and just focus on the things you do have. I bet you’re better off than you realize.

Regardless, I wish you the best and as usual, I thank you for reading my madness.



1 yes, he reads my blog :p
2 And don’t even get me started on the overnight, sometimes weekly waits in line for electronic devices that will be out-dated in just a few months. Seriously, WTF?!


Well, if you’re reading this, we are all still here. The world didn’t end because the Mayan’s decided to stop counting at 12.21.12. Of course, we already knew the other half of the planet already rotating into the 12.21.12 time zone is still there.

Now maybe all the end of the world crazies can move on and find something more useful to obsess about. Naaaaah

Now that it’s over (pun intended) I thought I’d share a funny story. While I’m leaving the gym yesterday, I’m walking thru the ‘hood and see a rather fugly MUNI driver standing on the corner [1]in his work uniform mind you making very strong advances to a female that was walking by.  He circles her, looking her up and down, making very direct and inappropriate comments to her in attempt to establish is manliness and land her number. Seriously, it was a spectacle to behold.

Getting a wild hair up my ass, I decided to teach him a lesson. As the female walks away in disgust, I walk up to him and proceed to do the exact same thing. I walk around him making comments, looking him up and down, asking for his number, his bus route, and how I can “get me some.” You can clearly see he is holding back the F-word as he gets more and more angry. Right when is about to totally lose his shit I lamented and said, “now you know how it feels don’t ya? It doesn’t feel very good when the shoe is on the other foot. You were totally disrespectful to that woman. You made an ass of yourself and she walked away thinking how disgusting you were. Next time try a little class or at very least don’t be so disrespectful.” I then turned and walked away while he was mumbling under his breath.

It is my hope that my rather controversial ploy taught him a lesson. I guarantee he’ll think twice before doing it in the Castro again. Several of my friends said I was lucky he didn’t assault me. I don’t see it that way. I think he was lucky he didn’t assault me. While I’d never pick a fight, I have no problem finishing one. Either way, I still hope he’ll be more respectful. 


1 in his work uniform mind you


I had this post all written and ready to post but after the CT incident, I just had to update it. While most of us are bouncing around merry and gay this holiday season, others will be struggling with loss and depression. My heart goes out to the families of those who lost their children in such a senseless tragedy yesterday. I’ll save my thoughts on the issue for a later time but for the rest of us, no matter how down you are this holiday season, remember it can always be worse. Take stock in the gifts you do have. Moving on to the original post…


In my line of work I deal with a lot with the more depressing side of the holidays. Unfortunately, not everyone will have a very merry holiday this year. Some haven’t had one in years. And further still, a few might take drastic measures to escape their pain.

It may seem silly to some but I always try to do something nice for others over the holidays. I like to think I do nice things for others year round but you get the point I’m trying to make. Lord knows last season I was pretty depressed myself. And while I had good reason to be upset, things weren’t really all that bad in the scope of things. I have a roof over my head, money in my pocket, food in my belly, and friends (an family) that love me. Not everyone will be able to even say that this year. So while I may not be buying shiny gifts, I am pretty content. [1]My swapping the iPad for the Nexus was pretty much my present to myself.

Anyway, I’ll be working xmas again this year. I don’t mind working as one, they pay me well and two, I like helping out. For all my bitching about the bureaucracy, I love my job. I like helping people. I’d hope that those of you out there who have a lot would take time to help someone less fortunate. Be it donations, volunteering, etc you can make a difference in someone else’s life. Often times something so little can mean so much to others. I urge you to remember the ‘spirit of giving‘ isn’t so much about things and presents.

And if you are someone who is struggling to find spirit or just survive the holiday blues, please take heart, in the grand scale of things it is just another day. The world spins and life moves just like the day before and will again the day after. *hugs*

I wish all of you out there a very Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays!

PS. Thanks to everyone for all the wonderful xmas cards! I was really surprised on how many of you sent them in to me. 🙂 I’m doing my last batch soon if anyone is left who wants one.


1 My swapping the iPad for the Nexus was pretty much my present to myself.


Cooper loves wearing anything that jingles, the more jingle the better. lol

I bought him a stretchy red/white fur collar with bells on it and he goes absolutely apeshit. He LOVES it! He will try to push his head thru it while I’m putting it on him.

Here is a quick pic of him wearing his little jingle collar. Naturally, he gets even more attention while we are out and about. The cuteness factor is almost off the charts. hehehe  He jingles while he walks and I think he knows he’ll get more attention.

He’s definitely got holiday spirit!

Come & Go

In my last post, I mentioned the new Sliderbar restaurant that opened. It’s basically a twist on slider burgers. When Nikitas and I sat down, two of our friends were finishing up and gave it a scathing review. Being brand new hiccups are bound to happen so we decided to stick it out, granted our expectations were low.

The food turned out to be pretty decent. They had a diverse menu of sliders and we tried a couple different ones. Other than a snafu with our order getting entered timely, the overall experience (prior to me leaving my wallet like a dumb ass) was pleasant. The food was fresh and tasty.

Of course, like many places that seem to pop up these days, I doubt it will survive the long haul. They’ve taken something that is traditionally a comfort or fast food and tried to put a fancy spin on it. It is hard to sustain a business based on overcharging for fancy mini-burgers. I liked the remodel but I honestly doubt it will survive. They are trying to live on a niche market that is just not built on being pricey. Criolla Kitchen that was there prior was pretty much the same problem. After an owner revolt, the remaining owner ditched the all Cajun menu [1]Which was what they claimed to be for a more general Southern style comfort food menu with a hefty price tag. Sorry but comfort food by it’s very nature is not price. And trying to charge upscale prices for food you can get elsewhere for a fraction of the cost is just not good business IMO. I will give Criolla credit, their food was very good. But they failed to truly understand their customer base and went under because of it. I fear Sliderbar is headed down the same path. While my first experience was pleasant, it didn’t wow me and I’d be hard-pressed to find myself eating there a lot.

I don’t wish them any ill-will and certainly like having a variety of restaurants in my neighborhood. Sadly, there are 4 burger joints within a few blocks of each other and frankly I don’t see the demand as being that high, even with a high tourist ratio. I could be wrong and I certainly wish them luck though.


1 Which was what they claimed to be


Why is it that guys wear torn, ratty clothing to the gym? Do they think it gives them more “street cred” as a meathead or something? Granted I don’t wear new clothes to the gym but I don’t go looking like a street person. I’m not judging, I’m just curious what the point is. And I’m not talking about shirts or shorts cut for more room or flexibility.

I often see one guy who’s clothing is so torn it is falling off of him. Don’t get me started on his other gym habits. While he does have some bulk, it’s a bit disconcerting. I guess I should be pleased he isn’t like the other ancient guy who’s shorts are so short his balls are usually hanging out.

What do you wear to your local sweat box?


I thought for sure I’d rambled on here about boycotts but a quick search of my stream showed nothing, so here goes…

I’ll keep this short and sweet. There is a lot of brouhaha over the boycott of Chick-fil-a in the news lately. First, I’ve been avoiding them for almost two decades. My first experience with said company was back in my early 20’s and once was enough. I smelled their crazy right away and haven’t eaten their since.

As I was writing this, I stumbled across this post on Towleroad. Couldn’t have said it better myself.

They may have the right to donate to causes meant to make me a 2nd-class citizen (or worse), but I also have the right not to give them my money. I don’t care one whit if my lack of support puts them out of business. Sometimes, the message is more important than the outcome IMHO. Conversely, I try to support those who stand up for equality, not just for myself but for all.

What else needs to be said?


Today’s rant is a bit on the gross side.

What is it with guys and public urinals? I know our aim isn’t always the best but come on fellas, we can do better. You can hold that bad boy steady enough w/o hosing down the walls and floor! I can understand a sleepy one-eyed (pun intended) shot in the middle of the night, but everywhere you go? It don’t care how big your junk is, you can aim it. lol

The last time I was at the movies, I watched a guy stand back from the urinal and literally pee at it instead of in it. It would be funny if it wasn’t so gross. Even worse, he didn’t wash his hands after! *mental note – never go out with that guy.*

I feel sorry for janitorial crews. Practically everywhere you go these days the urinals have puddles under’em. If it were me, I’d just take a big hose in there and spray the entire place down. Screw mopping and what-not. lol I wonder if that’s why most public bathrooms now have large drains in the floor?

I guess I wouldn’t make a very good custodial worker.


I was re-watching a movie called Devil the other day and I was struck by one of the points in the story line. If you have’t seen it, almost the entire movie is shot from inside an elevator. It might sound a bit boring but its quite entertaining if you like the genre. Very suspenseful. Anyway, The devil brings this group of individuals together because he wants to claim one of their souls. The twist is that they are all bad individuals or have done bad things, whether intentional or not. As the story unfolds you discover they seem to be intertwined in relevant ways.

Anyway, my rant isn’t so much about the story line but part of the theory one of the lead characters proposed as a resolution. How do you make someone see themselves for who & what they really are? For you few enduring readers, you know this ties in nicely with one of my fundamental approaches to my blog; to see myself more objectively. [1]I certainly do a decent job of it at times but we all reflect on reality based on our own wants, desires, prejudices, etc. Thru many years of self-examination I like to think I have gotten better at seeing parts of myself more objectively. But how does one produce this on a larger scale? Think for a moment how many real world problems we could solve with this. And not just in our personal lives but in life in general.

In the movie the main character, being faced with imminent damnation, is finally given to see himself for who he is and what he has done. His redemption comes from the objective realization that he has committed a great wrong, whether intentional or not, and must atone for it if he homes to become a better person.

My question here is this the only way we can push people into seeing w/o the blinders? Is imminent destruction or death the only real way to remove the barriers we put before ourselves. I think back on my father before he passed. He waited till he was on his death bed to tell me he was sorry for the awful things he did to me during my coming out. Granted I think he’d realized his faults years before but he waited until the last possible moment to seek forgiveness. Maybe it sounds silly but the more I think on it the more I think this could/would fundamentally change our world.

Sadly, I don’t have a practical answer or solution to put forward. In my own life, it came from realizing a basic unhappiness in myself and struggling to understand it. This led to the pursuit of examining my id and all it’s many demons. I think this also reflects on why I try so hard to be fair-minded and equal in my thought patterns.


1 I certainly do a decent job of it at times but we all reflect on reality based on our own wants, desires, prejudices, etc.