Assume The Position

On a recent ride, I found it somewhat amusing when a riding buddy shocked an employee of a local and very busy biker hangout. Basically, the employee replied to a buddy’s comment about it being a nice day. The employee said something to the effect, “and the pretty girls.”  Well my (male) friend w/o even really thinking anything of it said, “and the pretty guys“. You could tell it was totally not the answer the employee was expecting! Now don’t get me wrong, he wasn’t ignorant or stupid, he was just surprised. He didn’t break stride or even turn around. It was a very subtle but obvious change in his movements that gave him away. It also cracked me the hell up! This leads me into my post today.

My assumption is that because we were motorcycle riders, he naturaly assumed we were straight. Of course, I get that it ties into Western society’s over-emphasis on male/fem characteristics, hobbies, etc. But that’s a way deeper well to dive into on some other day…

Anyway, it struck me as noteworthy because I’ve become so accustomed to my openness about being gay.  I just so rarely think about it in a public forum anymore. I always just assume anyone who meets me knows I’m gay. I make no pretense about it how could they not know? [Insert joke here]   It still surprises me when someone doesn’t pick up on it. ( On an unrelated side note, this begs the question about gays learning to pick up on said subtle clues more astutely than our straight counter-parts.)

Of course, I’d forgotten that perception can be a powerful thing. I’m sure you’ve heard the old adage, ‘perception is 9/10’s of reality.‘   Well, case and point. lol  The human brain becomes hard-wired to expect certain actions, in this case behaviors. It will often (given time and/or more cues) pick up on subtle, out-of-the-norm differences, sometimes consciously, sometimes not. I’m sure given more time to observe us, the employee would have figured it out. 😉  Ironically, now that I think back on it, I can remember several rides where the same thing has occurred.

My buddy and I got a nice chuckle out it nonetheless. And we continued to cruise guys.

Howwie

Is me again. I’m sneaking onto the square box thing while daddy is sleeping. I still don’t understand it but my translator used to seem reawwie busy when I yipped at the bright square flippy thing . . . I think he called it a “scween”.  My translator left the other day. Daddy said he was “raptued” or something like dat. You’ll have to pawdon my spelling, I’m not a vewwie good speller. Daddy has been reawwie proud of me lately. He says I’ve  been extra special good. Even when we walk to the stoe w/o my leash on. [1]Oh ssshh, I’m not supposed to tell that. My other daddy doesn’t like it when I walk w/o my leash on.  Ewyway, my daddy has been wowwied about me. I’m approaching my ninth birfday and my age is starting to catch up with me. Don’t wowwie, nothing is wrong yet, Daddy just likes to wowwie. He notices I can’t run as much as I used to and I get a little tired sometimes real early. Daddy tries to give me a good walk every few days to keep me stwong and limber. When I get tired from my wawks I just take a break for a few days until I’ve regained my stwength. I like long naps. I curl up in my bed, I snore a lot and bury my face in my pillow to block out the sun. On really bwight days I put my paws up over my face to help keep the light out. I sometimes remember how to actually bark when I sweep. I can yip but barking is reawwie hard. When I’m sleeping, I have dreams of chasing birds and cats and I bark in my sleep. Its twue! Just ask my Daddy.  Ewyway, I told Daddy not to wowwie about me. I get lots of love and attention and I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.

I think I like this box thing. It glows pretty colors and seems not to gunk up when I slobber on it. I’m not allowed to chew on it though. I would get in awot of trouble if I did that. Daddy found a new treat for me the other day at some place called Waw-gweens. Its got something called healthy gwanola on the outside and a hard chewy bone on the inside. Its my new fwavorite treat! I slobber and lick all the crunchy stuff off then I bite, chomp, and chew on the boney part till its nice and soft and I swallow it. I’m not supposed to hurry but I get es’ited and I sometimes choke. I try not to choke cause Daddies gets reawwie mad when I barf on my bedding.

I’m tired now so I’m gawna say goow night now. Ya’ll don’t tell that I was on the shiny box thing again ok? High paw!

Dawgs rule!

Spike

References

References
↑1 Oh ssshh, I’m not supposed to tell that. My other daddy doesn’t like it when I walk w/o my leash on.

Still Here?

So… You still here? You are! What, you didn’t get raptured? Well, let me be the first to offer my sincere apologies that you got left behind with the rest of us sinners.

Wouldn’t it be nice if now maybe we could stop fighting over petty nonsense and actually be productive as a society?  No, instead everyone will wait for the next wingnut to come along with another outrageous, totally bogus, made up, ridiculous claim. There is nothing more powerful than belief, especially to those hoping against hope for someone to come along and magically make all their misery go away.

As a matter of fact, I’m getting a vision right now!  Stand by…..stand by………stand by………. I have it! The world will end in the year 2555 on November 15th at exactly 12:35 pacific standard time. Now you know. So go forth and worry no more my little automatons.

The end

Fatality

I got into an argument the other day with a fellow rider about helmet safety. He doesn’t ride in our group but we see each other around and online. Anyway, he was bitching and moaning about getting a ticket for riding his bike w/no helmet. I was sort of shocked.

He tried to argue there wasn’t any real difference in riding w/o a helmet. It boggles my mind that anyone in this day and age would even argue that not wearing a helmet is a good idea. Naturally, the biggest blowhards always rant about ‘big government interfering with my rights, blah blah blah.’  Bullshit!  When you actually press someone it usually comes out that they don’t like wearing helmets for one of two reasons, style or comfort. True to my theory, he finally admitted he didn’t like wearing a helmet because it didn’t “look cool.”  And my reply, “well, if you think looking cool is more important than saving your skull then you’re a prime candidate for natural selection.”  We agreed to disagree at that point. lol  Virtually every agency I checked showed that wearing a helmet decreases the fatality factor by 35-38%  That’s pretty damn significant!

I grew up riding dirt bikes and three-wheelers. Back then, I never wore a helmet because no one told me and I was too young to really think about it. Looking back on it, I’m lucky I didn’t end up dead or a quadriplegic. We used to do some crazy shit , jumping blocks, donuts, wheelies, jumping over gullies, etc. lol Of course, as an adult, I do know better.

Sadly, some states still only recommend helmets vs requiring them. In my old stopping grounds of Texas, a law requiring helmet use was actually repealed! [1]I’m not surprised.  California law requires a helmet for any 2-wheeled vehicle 50cc’s and above.

On a side note, I learned an interesting statistic while researching the stats for my little rant today. Almost half of fatal motorcycle accidents involve alcohol! I couldn’t imagine driving my bike while intoxicated. One, my balance is screwed up enough just walking much less driving a 400+ lb piece of machinery that requires me to execute balance maneuvers as a matter of course. Two, I’ve been the victim of a drunk driver and I’d never forgive myself if I injured (or worse, killed) someone because of my drinking and driving.

The moral of my little rant? Don’t be an idiot. If you ride, ride safely. That includes wearing PPE (personal protective equipment).

References

References
↑1 I’m not surprised.

Rapture

Have you heard? The end is coming on 5.21.11 around 6:00pm. So says some crack pot religious freak who claims to have secret insights into the christian bible. lolol  Of course, it doesn’t seem to matter that he already made one failed prediction back in the 90’s.

I’m tickled over all the spoof sites popping up everywhere. There’s the post-rapture orgy in Times Square. Then there’s the post-rapture looting Facebook page. lolol Hilarious! Oh, and have you arranged for pet care after you get raptured? Oh yeah, you forgot about that didn’t ya! lol Pets aren’t included so they’ll be left behind. I doubt the lowly sinners left behind will want to do it. You better think of something quick or feefee is gonna be up shit creek without a paddle. hehehe ok, just kidding.

I’m not worried about Spike because I’ll be left behind. Frankly, I’d never wanna be raptured with a bunch of fanatical wingnuts who care more about personal greed and hiding behind fear than actually doing the word of “their” god.

Anyway, so what are you planning for rapture day (or the day after)?

2GX

So after 8 fucking days [1]when they promised 2-3. the US Post Office delivered my phone! It’s the LG Optimus with a Tegra dual-core processor rebranded for T-mobile.

I’m liking it so far. Its got a nice big bright screen, hdmi port, 8 megapixel camera, blah blah blah. Its definitely geared for audio/visuals. Bigger speakers, strong graphics support, and not to mention the hdmi. I inherited the Nexus S from Apple guy after he went back to the iphone. I loved the Nexus because its almost pure Android. No tinkering, no blocks, no carrier overlays that often make Android horrible.  Overlays that also make it harder to upgrade to newer versions as they come available. Tmo has been pretty consistent about pumping out phones with pure Android. The Nexus S also had the up and coming NFC chip but it was a battery hog so I left it turned off. I used it only 2 or 3 times.

Anyway, the new phone hums along pretty fast. There aren’t many apps/games written to take advantage of the dual-core yet but multitasking is a dream. Even heavy processor games hum. I’m no big on gaming on my phone but its nice knowing it can handle it. I haven’t had a chance to do much more beyond that yet. Being on Tmo’s new HSPA+ network, the data speeds are a lot better. Tmo might be the underdog of the big 4 but it’s been catching up fast. [2]Sadly, innovation will disappear after it gets fully gobbled up by shitty AT&T The phone is currently running Froyo which isn’t quite the newest version of Android but Tmo is promising an update to Gingerbread soon.

My biggest complaint with the new crop of super smart phones has been battery life. Apple gets props for designing theirs with longer batteries. I loved the Nexus S, but as I mentioned, the battery was awful. It got to where I was afraid to leave the damn house w/o the power cord. Even worse, for some unknown reason it took forever to charge the damn thing. My Nexus One (made by HTC, not Samsung) would charge up in just over hour. Thankfully, LG seems to have borrowed this concept as my new battery charges in about the same time frame. Anyway, I surf, listen to music, check email, text, read news/blog feeds, etc all day long on my phone. I’m a heavy user and I know I can’t expect most phones to go all day w/o needing to be charged. That said, I should be able to go more than a few damn hours. Luckily this one seems to be doing ok and its running on a dual-core chip.

I was tempted to wait for the HTC Sensation coming out soon but that’s 2-3 months away and waiting always seems to be a waste. There’s always a new, bigger, better phone on the horizon. lol Hopefully, this one will last me until I figure out if I’m staying with Tmobile as it gets swallowed by shitty AT&T or jumping ship to Sprint.

References

References
↑1 when they promised 2-3.
↑2 Sadly, innovation will disappear after it gets fully gobbled up by shitty AT&T

Happy…

… multicolored painted hard-boiled egg weekend.  I’m told the event somehow celebrates a zombie who rose from the dead and ascended into a mythical warm and fuzzy place in an attempt to absolve all of humanity [1]well not all, only those chose few who are ‘saved’. The rest are supposed to go to another mythical place that’s said to be really really REALLY hot, w/no a/c or pool, and suffer for eternity. of its bad behavior, past, present, and future.

/end

References

References
↑1 well not all, only those chose few who are ‘saved’. The rest are supposed to go to another mythical place that’s said to be really really REALLY hot, w/no a/c or pool, and suffer for eternity.

Hewwo Worrrrld

*I’m intro’ing a guest blogger on my blog to help fill in the void at times. Treat him kindly or he just might bite you!*

 

Hewwo, my name is Spike. I’m an 8 (and half) year old English bulldog. My co-daddy, Moby, has asked me to write to you today and introduce myself. Daddy has decided that I need to start writing for his blog to fill in the empty spots. He is forcing me to do it under protest. My paws are too fat for the keyboard so I’m using a translation service. I have no idea what a blog is or even what this funny looking square thing he makes me sit in front of is used for. I’ve had to stop several times already to clean off my slobber and look at my daddy with confused eyes asking him, “what the hell are you making me do?!”

Anywwway, I like walks where I can sniff/mark every plant, bush, planter, and/or shrub that comes my way. I love to chase pigeons, or any bird for that matter. I never catch them cause my stubby legs are too short and I can’t run that fast. That, and those rascally birds tend to fly away before I can get even get close. Mark my words, one day I’ll catch one. I’m not sure I’ll know what to do with it when I do but who cares.

I have a variety of other interests too. Eating, drinking, sleeping, slobbering, farting, snoring, begging for treats, and being very loveable. Though, not necessarily at the same time or in any particular order. Don’t get the wrong idea, I’m very well house trained. I sleep about 8-10 hours a day so I’m usually pretty easy to care for. I do have my moments but who has time to run around like crazy? I can do a few tricks when I want something delicious. I like most doggy treats but I love Love LOVE cheese, peanut butter, and grapes. I love attention and will always wag my butt [1]not sure where I got that from when someone shows me some attention. I’ll try to jump on when I get excited. I’m not supposed to but I can’t help it.

I can be stubborn at times but I know that when I am bad, I get a whoopin’ with the rubber shoe. I try not to be bad. Sometimes if my daddies forget to close the bathroom door, I’ll sneak in and try to drink out of the toilet. I know I’m not supposed to but I loves me some water. The shoe doesn’t really hurt but Daddy makes me sit in my kennel by myself when I’m bad and I just hate when Daddy is mad at me. I give him pleading, begging looks to try and get in his good graces again. [2]Don’t tell him but it usually works. Truth be told, my daddy spoils me rotten. I have a heating blanket under my rug so when it gets chilly in SF, I’m nice and toasty during my many naps. I get treats every day and sometimes when I’m really good, I get an extra one. I also get a gooey chewey food on my birthday every year. I can’t eat it everyday cause I’ll get fat and my daddies don’t like that. Sometimes, when I’ve been really good at giving daddy  my ‘poor lonely pathetic’ look, he’ll put a blankie on the sofa and let me sleep on the sofa next to him while he plays video games.   …Oh, I wasn’t supposed to tell you that part. My other daddy doesn’t like it when I’m on the furniture. Shhh! Don’t tell!

Anyway, daddy says I can stop now. I think we are going for a walk in the park so I can try to play with the other dogs. I’ll probably just end up getting tired and laying down and watching them run around like crazy idiots. Nice to meet ya’ll!

Dogs rule,

Spike

References

References
↑1 not sure where I got that from
↑2 Don’t tell him but it usually works.